***Guest Appearance
Credits to:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZ7z96vEHC0&t=116s
“IEP 95: How Jay Conner Raised $2M in 90 Days Without Asking for a Dime ”
https://www.youtube.com/@iconiqentrepreneurs
The conversation focused on how strategic thinking, relationships, and a teaching mindset can revolutionize your approach to raising capital for real estate investments. One concept discussed was the pivotal moment of transition from relying on traditional banks to leveraging Private Money. This shift didn’t just bring new funding—it fundamentally transformed business operations and investor confidence.
The discussion explored the story of encountering an unexpected obstacle: a bank suddenly closing a line of credit without warning, jeopardizing hundreds of thousands in potential profit. The choice was clear—give up, or think differently. A key theme that emerged was problem-solving through connection. The question posed was simple yet profound: “Who do you know that can help you with your problem?” This became a guiding principle, not just in business finance, but for tackling any challenge in life—financial, health-related, or relational.
Several points were raised, including the importance of separating the act of “asking for money” from the act of “teaching an opportunity.” Instead of pitching deals, the strategy is to educate potential private lenders on the workings and advantages of Private Money, including tax-advantaged options like self-directed IRAs. This approach transforms previously skeptical or uninformed contacts into eager participants, as illustrated by stories where simply sharing the process led to significant investment without a single direct “ask” for money.
The conversation revealed that by focusing on service and education, investors create a dynamic where money begins to “chase” them, not the other way around. There’s an emphasis on credibility—having a trustworthy team, like reputable real estate attorneys and CPAs, signals to potential partners that you’re running a real business, not just dabbling. For new investors, the advice is practical: start with your immediate sphere—friends, church members, colleagues, and local clubs. These are relationships already built on trust and communication, a critical element for acceptance and success.
One of the most actionable ideas discussed was organizing educational events—such as small luncheons—to simultaneously inform a group and build credibility. By inviting influencers and local professionals, the reach of your message multiplies, and attendees often become enthusiastic advocates, sharing the opportunity with others. The real goal isn’t just a transaction, but a referral-driven, sustaining network.
A key takeaway was the mindset shift that rejecting the “pitch” mentality removes anxiety and fear of rejection. Since the approach is value-driven and educational, even those who don’t invest still leave the conversation better informed. This philosophy applies well beyond real estate, offering a framework for ethical and sustainable business growth in any field.
Personal development also played a strong role in the conversation. Drawing on family values and the example of previous generations, the message was clear: servant leadership, hard work, and community-mindedness drive not just business success, but deep personal fulfillment. The encouragement was to lead by example—much like a grandparent quietly working for others, or a parent instilling diligence from an early age—so that the next generation of entrepreneurs and investors are motivated not only by profit, but by purpose and impact.
The podcast episode also highlighted resources for continued learning, from recommended books like Jack Canfield’s The Success Principles to a free guide on raising Private Money, emphasizing that education and mentorship are central to long-term achievement.
In closing, the episode championed the idea that enough is never enough “when it’s not about you.” Success is not measured solely in dollars, but in the difference you make—serving others, teaching skills, and building lasting relationships. Whether you’re experienced in real estate or just considering your first investment, the principles of Private Money, servant leadership, and authentic networking can help you unlock new doors and sustain meaningful growth.
10 Discussion Questions from this Episode
- The conversation focused on the pivotal moment when traditional banking avenues closed unexpectedly. How did this challenge lead to the discovery of Private Money, and what lessons can entrepreneurs draw from similar moments of crisis?
- One concept discussed was the powerful question: “Who do you know that can help you with your problem?” How can this mindset shift impact decision-making in both business and personal life?
- A key theme that emerged was leading with education rather than sales tactics when raising funds. What are the benefits and potential drawbacks of this approach in real estate or other industries?
- The discussion explored the process of teaching potential private lenders about opportunities without directly asking them for money. How does this method change the dynamic of the investor-lender relationship?
- Several points were raised, including the importance of building trust and credibility through existing relationships, such as those at church or within the community. How can entrepreneurs intentionally cultivate this kind of network?
- The episode highlighted the strategy of separating the teaching of a lending program from pitching a specific deal. Why is this distinction so important for establishing confidence and reducing pressure on both sides?
- The conversation focused on the role of a “credibility team” in lending relationships. What elements make up an effective credibility team, and how do they contribute to business success?
- One concept discussed was removing the fear of rejection by framing offers as opportunities for the other person, not as sales pitches. How might this principle apply to non-financial negotiations?
- A key theme that emerged was the transfer of family and community values, such as hard work and service, into business philosophy. How can these values shape an entrepreneur’s brand and approach to leadership?
- The discussion explored the idea that “enough is never enough when it’s not about you.” How can focusing on service to others drive sustainable growth and personal fulfillment in entrepreneurial ventures?
Fun facts that were revealed in the episode:
- The conversation focused on the pivotal role of Private Money in real estate investing. One fun detail is that over $2 million was raised in less than 90 days simply by leading with education and relationships, rather than traditional sales tactics or pitching individual deals.
- A key theme that emerged was the idea of separating the “teaching” of the private lending program from presenting any specific deals. This strategy ensures that potential investors never feel pressured, and as a result, many became eager to invest—sometimes doubling their initial commitment, as illustrated in the story of Wayne at church, whose $250,000 pledge quickly became $500,000 after a simple, value-driven conversation over coffee.
- The discussion explored the importance of creating a “credibility team.” Several points were raised, including that simply inviting your accountant, real estate attorney, and realtor to a lunch seminar signals to potential investors that you run a legitimate business—a powerful nonverbal endorsement that can make teaching and raising funds much smoother.
Timestamps:
00:00 Dealing with a financial crisis
04:07 Importance of Private Money
07:54 Transitioning from mobile homes to real estate
12:46 Connecting with Jeff for advice
15:29 Securing Private Money for Real Estate
17:31 Teaching Private Lending Program
22:32 Teaching the private lending program
26:29 Finding Investors by Referral
27:22 Discussing interest rates with Wayne
33:31 Private lending opportunities
36:34 Grandfather’s influence and early life
38:28 Early work experiences and drive
40:52 Raising Private Money With Jay Conner
Connect With Jay Conner:
Private Money Academy Conference:
Free Report:
https://www.jayconner.com/MoneyReport
Join the Private Money Academy:
https://www.JayConner.com/trial/
Have you read Jay’s new book, Where to Get the Money Now?
It is available FREE (all you pay is the shipping and handling) at https://www.JayConner.com/Book
What is Private Money? Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner
http://www.JayConner.com/MoneyPodcast
Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. Without using his own money or credit, Jay maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $67,000 per deal.
#RealEstate #RealEstateInvesting #RealEstateInvestingForBeginners #Foreclosures #FlippingHouses #PrivateMoney #RaisingPrivateMoney #JayConner
YouTube Channel
https://www.youtube.com/c/RealEstateInvestingWithJayConner
Apple Podcast:
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/jay.conner.marketing
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/JayConner01
Pinterest:
https://www.pinterest.com/JConner_PrivateMoneyAuthority
From Crisis to Success: Jay Conner’s Strategies for Securing Private Real Estate Funding
Jay Conner [00:00:00]:
I call up Steve, and I tell him about these 2 deals and the funding that’s required. I learned that the bank had closed my line of credit with no notice to me whatsoever. And I said, Steve, okay, hold the phone. Why are you telling me my line of credit is closed at the bank? He said, Jay, don’t you know there’s a global financial crisis going on right now? I said, no. But you just gave me a financial crisis. I don’t have a way to fund my 2 deals that are gonna be over $100,000 in profit between those 2 deals. So I had a choice. I could go home, put my tail between my legs, and eat a bag of Cheetos all day.
Jay Conner [00:00:43]:
Or I could ask myself a question that changed the trajectory of my business forever. I want to share with you, Erica, and your audience, this powerful question that I asked myself. I didn’t know how powerful it was at the time. And let me tell you, this question will help anybody solve any problem they have. I don’t care if it’s financial, health, relationships, or money. Here, it’s a very simple question, but very powerful. Here’s the question I asked myself. I said, Jay, who do you know that can help you with your problem?
Announcer [00:01:18]:
Okay.
Jay Conner [00:01:20]:
Who do you know? It’s so simple, but so powerful.
Narrator [00:01:26]:
If you’re a real estate investor and are wondering how to raise and leverage private money to make more profit on every deal, then you’re in the right place. On Raising Private Money, we’ll speak with new and seasoned investors to dissect their deals and extract the best tips and strategies to help you get the money because the money comes first. Now here’s your host, Jay Conner.
Announcer [00:01:54]:
Are you ready to think big and act bold?
Erica Bailey [00:01:57]:
Then you are in the right place.
Announcer [00:01:59]:
This is Innovative Entrepreneurs, a podcast that will bring you the stories, insights, and tips from some of the most successful and innovative entrepreneurs in the world. I am your host, Erica Bailey, and I am here to help you start, scale, and sustain your own entrepreneurial journey. Let’s get started.
Erica Bailey [00:02:23]:
Hello and welcome to Innovative Entrepreneurs. I am your host, Erica Bailey, and today we have an incredible guest, and we have a lot of like interesting things we just learned about each other, which is phenomenal. He has made a powerful impact in the world of real estate investing. Joining me today is none other than Jay Conner. He is widely known as the Private Money Authority. I want a little bit of that. With over $8 million rn private money and has an average of 3 property deals closed each month. Wow.
Erica Bailey [00:02:59]:
Jay brings not only experience but real practical strategies that are changing the game for investors across the country. Jay isn’t just teaching what worked a decade ago, right? He is in the trenches. He is doing deals. He is mentoring others. And today’s market. He is also the author of Where to Get the Money Now. I think we all need to read that. And he’s here to share— he’s got some proven methods for funding real estate deals without using your own money, tapping into self-directed IRAs, and unlocking the off-market opportunities.
Erica Bailey [00:03:38]:
We’re also going to talk about, in the world of real estate, you are your own boss. So like, how do you stay motivated? How do you maintain and just keep pushing through? And, you know, what has he learned along the way? So this is gonna be fun. If you are ready to learn how to make real estate work for you ethically, strategically, and successfully, then this episode is for you. Let’s dive in. Hi, Jay. Welcome to the show.
Jay Conner [00:04:07]:
Erika, thank you so much for inviting me along to talk about my most passionate topic, that being private money. But why in the world is that? Well, here’s why. Ever since 2009, February 2009, to be exact, I’ve never missed out on a deal, a real estate deal because I didn’t have the money. Now I know what it feels like to miss out on a deal because I relied on the local banks and mortgage companies and institutional money from 2003 until 2009. I’m telling you, private money’s had more of an impact on our business than any other strategy that we put in place.
Erica Bailey [00:04:43]:
This is gonna be fun. This is gonna be fun. Okay, so let’s start kind of, let’s back up a little bit. Like, what did you do before you got into real estate? Or were you like a Lou Brown, which we’re gonna get into later, but like he started, like decided, I think it was like 18 or whatever, that that’s all he wanted to do, right? What got you into real estate? Because it’s not always the easiest market to work in.
Jay Conner [00:05:10]:
That’s true. Well, Erica, I was actually raised by my father and mother, and my dad, Wallace Conner. He’s 91 and a half years old right now. And he makes sure you know about the half, but in fact—
Erica Bailey [00:05:23]:
Yeah, go, Dad.
Jay Conner [00:05:24]:
He is right slap-dab in the middle of building a 350 new home construction build at 91 and a half.
Erica Bailey [00:05:33]:
At 91 and a half?
Jay Conner [00:05:34]:
Isn’t that crazy? I saw him at lunch today, and he still loves telling people what to do. Nonetheless, when I was growing up, my dad had the largest mobile home retailing company in the nation. So mobile homes, manufactured housing, trailers, wobbly boxes- what they used to be called. But anyway, he was the largest retailer of mobile homes, manufactured housing in the nation. So I grew up being around helping people get affordable housing.
Erica Bailey [00:06:07]:
Yeah.
Jay Conner [00:06:07]:
Right. Well, unfortunately, the financing for that industry for the consumer went away in the early 2000s. So I knew if I ever got out of mobile homes, I wanted to get into single-family houses, and I wanted to be a flipper. Now here’s why I wanted to be a flipper. It wasn’t because of HGTV, because HGTV did not exist in 2003. So my wife, Carol Joy, and -, We’ve got dear friends. Their names are Craig and Kim. They live in—
Erica Bailey [00:06:38]:
And her’s Carol Joy. Did you say Carol Joy?
Jay Conner [00:06:41]:
Carol Joy’s my wife. She’s from Texas.
Erica Bailey [00:06:43]:
I love that. Hi, Carol Joy.
Narrator [00:06:45]:
Yep.
Jay Conner [00:06:45]:
She is from Texas originally. We live in Eastern North Carolina. But anyway, Craig and Kim are good friends of ours. In 1993, 10 years before I got into single-family houses, they wanted to build their new home. Well, they didn’t have any money for a down payment or seed money. Well, Kim’s daddy lived down in Florida, and he was a full-time real estate investor. And he said, I’ll tell you what, Craig and Kim, I’ll come up there to New Bern, North Carolina. I’ll find a fixer-upper.
Jay Conner [00:07:16]:
I’ll pay for it. You all do the sweat equity, fix it up on the weeknights and the weekends, and yeah, we’ll sell it, and you can keep the money for your down payment on your new home. In less than 90 days, they pocketed— now this was in 1993. In less than 90 days, they pocketed $30,000. And I said, wait a minute, I’m out here trying to make $3,000 on a single-wide mobile home. And you all made $30,000 on one little old single-family house that you fixed up and sold. So 10 years—
Erica Bailey [00:07:52]:
In 90 days.
Jay Conner [00:07:54]:
Yeah. So 10 years before I got into this world, I said, I know what Jay Conner wants to do. If I ever get out of mobile homes. Well, the opportunity came along in 2003. And so, uh, that’s, uh, that’s how we started. Now, my first 6 years, Erica, I relied on the local banks to fund my deals, my real estate deals. That’s all I knew to do. All I knew to do, Erica, was go to the local bank when I had a single-family house deal to do, get on my hands and knees and say, please fund my deal.
Jay Conner [00:08:25]:
And, you know, the banker would make me pull up my skirt. And show all my assets and pull my credit score and look at my financial statements and do appraisals. And that worked okay the first 6 years, but then everything changed in January 2009. And boy, it hadn’t been the same since.
Erica Bailey [00:08:53]:
Yeah. Well, we all know kind of what was going on in January 2009. Like that was the whole market collapse. Right. Yeah. So how did everything change? Sorry, I’m trying to take notes,s and I’m not getting what I need here.
Jay Conner [00:09:09]:
Well, you know, Lehman Brothers collapsed in the fall of 2008. So that was, I mean, everything, everything was already falling, you know, was falling through the cracks. 2007 and 2008 foreclosures were blowing up at record levels like never before. So here we go, Erica. Here’s what happened. I was sitting here at my desk, and you know what? It’s hard to believe we actually still have handsets and cords here in North Carolina attached to our desk.
Erica Bailey [00:09:37]:
That’s an actual handset phone?
Jay Conner [00:09:40]:
Yeah, it’s actually attached to a handset on my desk. It still works, by the way. Um, 20-year-olds don’t know what that is.
Erica Bailey [00:09:47]:
I haven’t seen one. Okay. Sorry. That blew my mind for a second. I guarantee you there are so many people out there who don’t even know how to use it. Wow. That’s mad old school. Okay.
Jay Conner [00:09:58]:
So anyway, I’m sitting here at my desk, Erica, January 2009, and I called up my banker. His name was, his name was Steve. Steve had funded lots of deals for me from 2003 to 2009. So I called up Steve in January 2009. I got 2 houses under contract to buy. Nothing’s new. I’ve been doing this for 6 years. And I call up Steve, and I tell him about these 2 deals and the funding that’s required.
Jay Conner [00:10:28]:
And I’m telling you, Erica, I mean, like that, in a split second, I learned that the bank had closed my line of credit with no notice to me whatsoever. And I said, Steve, okay, hold the phone. Why are you telling me? My line of credit is closed at the bank. He said, Jay, don’t you know there’s a global financial crisis going on right now? I said, no, but you just gave me a financial crisis. I don’t have a way to fund my 2 deals that are going to be over $100,000 in profit between those 2 deals. He says, sorry, Jay, we’re not loaning money out. So I hung up the phone,e and I sat here, Erica, for a moment.
Announcer [00:11:12]:
Yeah.
Jay Conner [00:11:12]:
And I thought to myself, well, what in the world am I gonna do? So I had a choice. I could go home, put my tail between my legs, and eat a bag of Cheetos all day. Or I could ask myself a question that changed the trajectory of my business forever. I wanna share with you, Erica, you and your audience, this powerful question that I asked myself. I didn’t know how powerful it was at the time. And let me tell you, okay, this question will help anybody solve any problem they have. I don’t care if it’s financial, health, relationships, money. I don’t care.
Jay Conner [00:11:53]:
And by the way, as a side note, these people running around saying every problem’s an opportunity. I want to be like the Kool-Aid guy that runs into the brick wall.
Erica Bailey [00:12:02]:
That’s—
Jay Conner [00:12:03]:
For goodness sake, I didn’t have an opportunity. I had a Blankety-blank problem, right? I had a problem. So let’s face reality. Okay, so here’s the question.
Erica Bailey [00:12:16]:
Here’s the question. I’m taking notes, everybody. Do you have your pen? Do you have a piece of paper?
Jay Conner [00:12:20]:
Yeah, this is the question that solves every answer in the—
Erica Bailey [00:12:24]:
or every question in the world. Here we go. Any problem?
Jay Conner [00:12:28]:
And here, it’s a very simple question but very powerful. Here’s the question I asked myself. I said, Jay, who do you know that can help you with your problem? Who do you know? It’s so simple, but so powerful. And here’s why it was so powerful.
Erica Bailey [00:12:45]:
Wow.
Jay Conner [00:12:46]:
I immediately thought of Jeff Blankenship. Now, Jeff Blankenship’s a dear friend of mine and Carol Joy. In fact, we just saw Jeff and his wife and his kids this past weekend at a gospel a cappella singing event. And the reason I thought of Jeff, I digress. The reason I thought of Jeff, the reason I thought of Jeff when I said, who can help me with my problem, is because my buddy Jeff at the time, in January 2009, was investing in single-family houses in Greensboro, North Carolina. And I said, well, my buddy’s investing and doing the same thing I’m doing. Let’s call him up and see what’s going on. So I called up Jeff, and I told him what had happened.
Jay Conner [00:13:27]:
With me getting cut off at the bank. Jeff says, well, welcome to the club, Jay. I said, well, what club is that? And I don’t want to be in this club. I know. He says, ” The club of having the bank shut you down. He says, ” The bank shut me down last week. I said, well, Jeff, how are you going to fund your real estate deals? And he says, well, have you ever heard of private money? I said, no. He said, ” Have you ever heard of private lending? I said, no.
Jay Conner [00:13:57]:
He said, have you ever heard of self-directed IRAs and how an individual can take retirement money they have and move it over to a self-directed IRA company? They can loan money to us from their retirement accounts, and the interest we pay them is tax-deferred and tax-free. I said, Jeff, I don’t have a clue what in the world you’re talking about.
Erica Bailey [00:14:18]:
Oh, thank goodness.
Jay Conner [00:14:18]:
Because I was, like, what are you talking about? What are you talking about?
Erica Bailey [00:14:23]:
Oh my goodness.
Jay Conner [00:14:24]:
He says, well, there’s this gentleman down in Jacksonville, Florida by the name of Ron LeGrand. And I said, well, who is Ron LeGrand and what is private money? He said, I don’t know, but Ron says we can get a lot of it. I said, okay. So Jeff and I went to my very first, my first experience of a real estate investing seminar. Went to Ron LeGrand’s seminar. And the reason I went was to learn about private money and how to get funding for your real estate deals without relying on banks, institutions, and all that kind of stuff.
Announcer [00:15:01]:
Mm-hmm.
Jay Conner [00:15:01]:
So boy, did I learn about private money. Jeff and I did. And here’s what happened. I came back home in Morehead City, North Carolina, after attending that event. And I raised over $2 million in less than 90 days. All new funding, all new funding. And you know what’s funny, Erica? I never asked anybody for money. In fact, to this date, I’ve yet to ask anybody for money.
Jay Conner [00:15:29]:
And I have real estate investors ask me all the time, say, Jay, how do you have $8.5 million in private money funding available to you right now? And you never asked anybody for money. Here’s the answer. So the first step to getting all the private money you need or want for your deals is to own the real estate between your ears. Now let me explain what that means. You see, most people think that to get money for real estate or borrow money is that you have to go, who’s got the money that makes the rules. You know, traditionally, when you borrow money, the lender sets the interest rate; they set the terms; they set the maximum loan-to-value; they set the frequency of payments, all that. That, that’s what 99.9999% of people walking around think and believe. So I said, well, let’s turn the tables on that baby right there.
Jay Conner [00:16:24]:
Instead of applying for or asking for a mortgage, instead put on your teacher hat and teach people. Says private money, teacher. And teach people, first of all, your own connections, people in your cell phone, social media, they’re in the Rotary Club. Teach people what this world is all about and lead with a servant’s heart and just expose people that you’ve already got a relationship with as to what this is all about without attaching any kind of a deal to it. You see, a big myth, a big misconception that most real estate investors have is that to get funding, you’ve got to pitch yourself and you’ve got to pitch a deal. Nothing could be further from the truth. Listen, Erica, I’ve never pitched a deal in my life. So let’s unpack this.
Jay Conner [00:17:23]:
Let’s unpack this. Let’s unpack this.
Erica Bailey [00:17:26]:
I’m digging this. I got notes. Keep it coming.
Jay Conner [00:17:31]:
So, so we separate the conversations. This is critical. This is critical. We separate the conversations with people, potential private lenders. First conversation is teaching the program, the opportunity, teaching what private money is, teaching what self-directed IRAs are, teaching your program. What interest rate are you gonna be offering? Uh, what kind of terms are you gonna be offering on deals without having any kind of a deal attached to it? And then once they tell you they like the program, how much they have to invest, then you come back. A week or two later with the good news phone call. So here’s what I want. Here’s what I’ll do, Erika.
Jay Conner [00:18:15]:
Let’s pretend that you and I have known each other for some time and the trust is already there. The credibility is already there. We already like each other. We’re friends. Maybe we know each other at church. Maybe we’re in a program.
Erica Bailey [00:18:29]:
We have to pretend? I’m just kidding. I’m just kidding. I’m just kidding. I thought we were already there.
Jay Conner [00:18:35]:
Exactly. Exactly.
Erica Bailey [00:18:36]:
Okay. Okay. So we’ve had this conversation. We’re everywhere. We’re in each other’s lives.
Jay Conner [00:18:40]:
Got it. That’s right. And I’ve taught you, I’ve taught you about the opportunity and, and the, and the interest rate I pay on deals and et cetera. And you like it. And, and let’s say hypothetically that you had $150,000 in a 401 from a previous employer. And in my conversation with you, um, you didn’t like how that was going. It’s in the stock market. You’re losing money.
Jay Conner [00:19:05]:
You don’t like it. It’s volatile and all that. So I have introduced you, hypothetically, I introduced you to a self-directed IRA company that I recommend. And let’s assume that you’ve moved your $150,000 over to that company, and now it’s moved,d and now you’re waiting for me to put your money to work. Okay. So a week or two goes by, I’ll call you up.
Narrator [00:19:29]:
Okay.
Jay Conner [00:19:29]:
Erica, I’m going to share with you and your audience right now the exact script that I would say to you when I’ve got a deal for you to fund. So I call you up. I call this the good news phone call. This is the good news phone call. And here’s exactly how the good news phone call goes. I call you up, you say hello, we have a little chit-chat, and then here’s exactly what I say. I say, Erica, I have got great news for you. I can now put your money to work.
Jay Conner [00:19:59]:
I’ve got a house under contract in Newport with an after-repaired value of $200,000. Now the funding required for the deal is $150,000, which matches up to what you have. Closing’s going to be next Tuesday. So I’ll need you to wire your funds to my real estate attorney’s trust account by next Monday. I’m going to have my real estate attorney email you the wiring instructions. That’s the end of the conversation. Now let’s unpack why Erica is ecstatic about this phone call. 3 reasons.
Jay Conner [00:20:36]:
There are 3 reasons Erica wants to fund this deal without me even asking. Number one, she moved her money, her $150,000, over to the self-directed IRA company at my recommendation. She already knows what the program is regardless of the deal. She knows the maximum loan-to-value. She knows the interest rate. She knows all that. So number one, she trusted me. She moved that over,r and she’s waiting for this phone call.
Jay Conner [00:21:06]:
Number 2, Erica knows I’m not going to bring a deal for her to fund unless it matches the criteria of what I already taught her.
Erica Bailey [00:21:15]:
For example?
Jay Conner [00:21:17]:
In the script, I called up Erica. I said, Erica, I can now put your money to work. I told her that I’ve got a house under contract with an after-repaired value of $200,000. I said the funding requires $150,000. That matches the program. That is 75% of the after-repaired value. So I’m not bringing a deal for her to fund that doesn’t match the criteria. The third reason Erica is ecstatic about this phone call is that she’s not making any money until I put her money to work, right? So I’m ethically bound and obligated to put her money to work because I promised her I would.
Jay Conner [00:21:57]:
So let’s unpack that. You see, okay, I taught Erica the program, I taught her the opportunity. She loved it because she’s only been making right now 3%, maybe, in a CD in the bank, and that’s coming down fast. Hey, just as of 2 weeks ago, the average savings account in the US right now is less than a quarter of a percent. And when I’m paying 8%, that’s like phenomenal. So anyway, she loved the program. She moved the money over, and I called her up with the good news phone call. So you see, desperation has got a smell to it.
Jay Conner [00:22:32]:
If I had attempted to introduce or teach Erica the private lending program and opportunity, and I talked about a deal in the same initial conversation. I’m already sounding desperate without even trying to sound desperate because now I’m talking about this deal for you to fund. So again, no chasing, no begging, no selling, no persuading. It’s all about leading with a servant’s heart, offering the opportunity. Carol Jo and I have gotten, I don’t know how many thank you notes over the years from our private lenders that we changed their retirement years. We have 47 private lenders right now funding our deals. And you know what? Not one of them ever heard of private money until I put on my teacher hat and I taught him about it.
Jay Conner [00:23:22]:
Right?
Erica Bailey [00:23:24]:
You’ve said that more than once, haven’t you? He was like, I got this down.
Jay Conner [00:23:32]:
Hey, Erica, are you picking up what I’m laying down?
Erica Bailey [00:23:35]:
I am. I am. I am. I can tell you. For me, real estate has never been something like I’m really good at marketing it and, and helping, you know, like I said, our conversation before, but when I’m trying to think about how I can actually, I feel like I’m talking somebody into giving me their money versus like showing them the value that they’re getting from it.
Announcer [00:24:02]:
Yeah.
Erica Bailey [00:24:02]:
Makes sense. So are there some maybe phrases or, I mean, and this could be an approach not just for real estate, but for any type of deal, for me, it sounds like you are teaching a sales skill, but more of a, like, it’s a personal value-driven relationship skill. I’ll say it. I’ll say it like that. Would you mind sharing some of that with us?
Jay Conner [00:24:25]:
Absolutely. So let me share that in the form of a short story. Let me share the short story version of how I got my first $500,000. Of that $2 million in the first 90 days. So Carol Jo and I go to church here in Morehead City. We’re very involved in the church and a cappella. So we, in fact, we just finished writing a new gospel song yesterday. Anyway, so we go to church.
Jay Conner [00:24:50]:
Well, I learned about private money. I came back home, and I’m going to church on a Wednesday night at 7:30. Now this is in February 2009. I had my program put together. I knew what I was going to teach. Right. The interest rate and all that. So as I’m walking up to the building, I’m looking for a gentleman named Wayne.
Jay Conner [00:25:12]:
Now Wayne and I had known each other for some time. So I walk in the foyer, and there’s Wayne. I walk up to Wayne, and I said, Wayne, I’ve got something I’d like to talk with you about confidentially after Bible study tonight. Could we get together for a few minutes? He said, sure. So we finished Bible study, and we got together, and we went down to the nursery, and we shut the door. I want to share right now exactly what I said to Wayne. I said, Wayne, you know everybody in this town. And he did.
Jay Conner [00:25:43]:
He was the Zenith television dealer in Morehead City, North Carolina. Now, for those of y’all tuning into this show, if you don’t know or remember who the Zenith television dealer was, that means you’re just too young to remember life before Walmart came to town. The Zenith dealer would sell you the TV. He’d finance your TV. He’d come to your house and repair your TV long before you go buy one, a 70-incher for $299, and throw it in the trash when it breaks and go get another one. So Wayne knew, he had, he had installed a TV in everybody’s house in Morehead City. So I said, Wayne, you know everybody. And he was well plugged into the Rotary Club and all that.
Jay Conner [00:26:29]:
So I said, Wayne, you know everybody in this town. And here’s the magic phrase. I said, Wayne, I need your help. You see, I’ve now opened up my real estate investing business by referral only, and I’m now paying insane high rates of return to my investors. And here’s what I need your help with. When you run across somebody that’s complaining about losing money in the stock market and the volatility and getting paid hardly nothing in the local bank, would you refer them to me, and I’ll tell them about how this program works? Wayne looked at me and said, ” Well, now, Brother Jay, what you got going on there? And I said, well, what do you mean? And he said, what kind of insane high rate of return are you paying? And I said, Wayne, are you saying that you might be interested? He said, well, I might be interested. I said, why is that? He says, we’re not earning hardly anything in the local bank, and we’re losing our shirt. In the stock market.
Jay Conner [00:27:22]:
What kind of interest rate are you paying, Jay? And I said, well, that sort of depends on the deal. I said, what sounds high to you? He says, well, we’re earning 3% in the local bank in a CD, and we’re losing money in the stock market. He says, I don’t know, maybe 5 or 6%. I said, Wayne, I can’t pay you 5 or 6%, but I can pay you 8%. He said, put me down for $250,000. So I went to Wayne’s home the next day on Thursday afternoon, and I sat down with him and his wife,e and I put on my teacher hat, and I began to teach them about what the opportunity was and is. The interest rate I’m gonna pay, which by the way is 8%, no points, has been the same thing since 2009, and how they can get their money back in case an emergency comes along. And what’s the frequency of payments and the maximum loan-to-value, and how I protect them by giving them a deed of trust to back that note and how I name them on the insurance policies.
Jay Conner [00:28:26]:
A mortgagee is another layer of protection. And after 2 cups of coffee, that $250,000 became $500,000 in that conversation with no deal attached to it. Now, why did that happen? I’ll tell you why it happened. Number one, we had a relationship in place, the trust. The credibility that was there. I mean, for goodness ‘ sake, we’re going to church together, right?
Jay Conner [00:28:53]:
So the trust was there. I mean, let me ask you a question. People ask me, Jay, who in the world do I start teaching? Who do I start sharing this with? Well, I want you to write down a list of people that you see regularly every week, and where do you see them? So this program does not work if you are a recluse,e and this program does not work if you do not truly love other people and want to serve other people and make an impact. And make a difference. Right. So unpacking that was showing them an opportunity with no deal attached to it. You see, you should not have a fear of rejection. How— here’s the question.
Jay Conner [00:29:32]:
How can you have a fear of rejection if you’re not asking anybody for anything and you’re gonna leave them in a better place whether they do business with you or not?
Erica Bailey [00:29:44]:
So how can you fear rejection?
Jay Conner [00:29:48]:
How can you have a fear of rejection if you’re not asking anybody for anything and you’re only serving and teaching?
Erica Bailey [00:29:54]:
So serving, teaching, believing in the value that you are doing or that you can offer ultimately, that’s going to bring, you know, that you’re going to bring something valuable to this relationship.
Jay Conner [00:30:07]:
Here’s, here’s the thing I can tell you here.
Erica Bailey [00:30:09]:
Confidence in believing what you’re doing, along with the skill sets of what humanity should be, but with the kindness, the desire to serve, and rather than selling, you are teaching.
Jay Conner [00:30:22]:
Absolutely. Absolutely. It’s leading with education, leading with education. And here’s the thing. If they’re not interested, which I can only think of one potential private lender that ended up not being interested at the time because they’d lost so much money in the stock market, they wanted to wait until the market came back before they sold part of that to, you know, do business with me. It was just a timing issue. And I’ll tell you, so that was my first $500,000. Let me tell you where I got the $969,000 of that $2 million.
Jay Conner [00:30:53]:
So very quickly after that, I put on a luncheon, and I invited 20 people of mine and Carol Joy’s associates to come to the luncheon. I had my CPA, my realtor, my real estate attorney at the luncheon, my credibility team that, you know, I do business with. And I invited 20 people that From the community. And I invited the influencers. Oh, there’s a writer-downer.
Narrator [00:31:16]:
Oh.
Jay Conner [00:31:17]:
I wanna teach people that can be a revolving door of referrals to me. I’m not interested in a one-on-one transaction. I’m interested in a relationship that can really refer people to me, right? And so it takes the same amount of time, 20 minutes, to teach your opportunity to one person as it does to 20. We had lunch. I fed them lunch. I pulled out my little PowerPoint presentation, and I put on my teacher hat, and I taught them the program just like I did at Wayne and his wife’s home that afternoon. I told them the program, and I had a little interest form, you know, are you interested in learning more?
Narrator [00:31:55]:
Wow.
Jay Conner [00:31:56]:
That we handed out at the end of my little presentation. And that’s where I got $969,000. In pledge of say, hey, I’ve got this money. Now they didn’t do it on the form. They expressed they wanted to learn more. So obviously I did one-on-one conversations with those people that were interested. And for goodness sakes, $500,000 came from just one person of that 969. You don’t need 47 private lenders like I’ve got today.
Jay Conner [00:32:27]:
All you need is one or two just to get started. You know, so that’s how I leveraged time to raise a lot of money very, very quickly was through that, you know, luncheon that I put on as well. So just those 2 short stories right there account for the $1.5 million of that first $2 million that I got in the, in the first 90 days.
Erica Bailey [00:32:49]:
Yep. 100%. 100%. I love that. All right. So basically the lesson learned is, ultimately, love what you’re doing, believe in what you’re doing. If you believe in what you’re doing and have confidence enough in it, then it will become pretty natural to teach rather than sell. And if you’re doing it from a place of care and, and, you know, just ultimate humanity— I don’t know the word that I’m looking for right now.
Erica Bailey [00:33:21]:
That’s that ADHD brain spinning again. I talk about that all the time. And that’s really how you build those relationships and bring in the money.
Jay Conner [00:33:30]:
Yes.
Narrator [00:33:31]:
Yeah.
Jay Conner [00:33:31]:
And here’s the— and here’s another reason that you never have to feel like you’re selling. The truth of the matter is there’s so much more money available from potential private lenders than there are deals. I mean, I’ve got over $1.2 million right now sitting on the shelf from my private lenders waiting for me to put it to use because I’ve just, I mean, I haven’t even had to teach anybody the private lending program for years, because what’s going to happen for you, like it happened for me, is you teach a few people and guess what? They can’t keep their mouth shut. They’re telling people about these high rates of return, stable and secure. So you see how the money’s chasing you instead of you chasing the money.
Erica Bailey [00:34:14]:
100%. It makes sense. So for those who may not know, what is a credibility team?
Jay Conner [00:34:20]:
So the credibility team is people that you are already working with that show people,e without even saying that you got a real business. So when you’re investing in real estate, for goodness sakes, you gotta have a real estate attorney, right? Don’t be out there teaching people about private money and you ain’t got no real estate attorney, for goodness sakes. So you gotta have that relationship in place. If you’re not a realtor, I’m not a realtor on purpose. But my realtors on my team are very, very important. I mean, they’re not employed by me. I mean, they’re just realtors that I have decided to do business with.
Erica Bailey [00:34:54]:
Yes.
Jay Conner [00:34:54]:
Hey, the realtor here in my main county that I invest in, I’ve had the same realtor for 20 years, 20 years pulling all my comps and telling me what the house should be worth and the after-repaired value. So my realtor, my bookkeeper, or accountant or CPA, right? And so I’m— so you invite those people to the luncheon, and you introduce them. And so they see you’ve got a real business, for goodness sakes. You’ve got these relationships, you’ve got these relationships in place.
Erica Bailey [00:35:23]:
That’s impressive. I love the lessons that you’re teaching while telling the stories. You’re quite entertaining, Jay. It’s kind of just fun to sit here and listen to you talk. So you’re passionate about mentoring new investors. Where did your passion for mentoring others come from? Is that like, were you always the type of person who liked to help other people, even from a younger age? You can see the passion. And I think what’s interesting is it’s not you trying to sell some like super program. You really are trying to mentor and help other people.
Erica Bailey [00:35:58]:
Do you think that just came from being learned? Is that from your family? I know it’s an interesting question, but I think we always need to dig deep in figuring out where our best qualities come from.
Jay Conner [00:36:10]:
Yes. Yeah. No doubt. Yeah. No doubt. It came from my environment and how I grew up and how the other people in my life changed my life. My granddaddy on my mother’s side, he was my best friend up until he passed away when I was 33 years old, except for Carol Joy. Carol Joy came along when I was 26 years old, but my granddaddy was my biggest cheerleader.
Jay Conner [00:36:34]:
And, you know, I watched my granddaddy. I mean, my granddaddy was a servant. Never, I never heard my granddaddy say a curse word in his life. I never saw my granddaddy lose his temper in his life. He was a farmer, and he was just all the time, all the time, in a very secretive, quiet way, not secretive, in a very quiet way, just going about doing things for other people all the time. So that was my programming. I mean, he was a farmer, lived out in the country, only 3 miles from where I grew up in the little teeny tiny town of Newport. And I spent pretty much from the time I was-, I could barely walk- I spent every Friday night with him and my grandmother out in the country.
Jay Conner [00:37:22]:
So, you know, Granddaddy didn’t teach me very, very many lessons verbally. He taught me many lessons by his example.
Erica Bailey [00:37:31]:
Oh, that’s beautiful. Great job, Granddaddy.
Jay Conner [00:37:35]:
Wow.
Erica Bailey [00:37:36]:
So you kind of learned also hard work, right? Ethics.
Jay Conner [00:37:40]:
Now I’ll tell you where I learned hard work. I’ll tell you where I learned hard work. I learned hard work from my dad, who’s 91 and a half years old. I was talking about. Yes. So what I mean by that is when I was 12 years old, uh, the summers were gone. So dad put me in his offices on the telephone. He had an acceptance corporation.
Jay Conner [00:38:02]:
And for those mobile homes he was selling in the summertime, along in between 2 other gentlemen, Al Jones and Harry Moore, I’ll never forget them. I was on the phone calling up people’s, their applications. They wanted credit to buy a mobile home. So I was calling their employer, verifying their employment. I was calling their landlord, verifying their rent. And everybody back then had telephones, you know, like this.
Erica Bailey [00:38:27]:
Mm-hmm.
Jay Conner [00:38:28]:
And I was, I was talking to the furniture store if they made their payments on time. This was before the credit, you know, credit scoring and Equifax and all that stuff. And so I was talking to these people when I was 12 years old, verifying. So I just got wonderful communication skills built by spending time on the phone in those summers. But yeah, when I said hard work, I don’t mean working in tobacco, even though I did work in tobacco in the tobacco field with my granddaddy before being 12 years old. But I mean, I guess I get my drive and my passion from my dad as well. I mean, you know, why— answer this question. Why in the world do you get up in the morning? Why do you get up in the morning? And if your answer is about you and about making money, unfortunately, if you’re like me, you’re not gonna get off square one.
Jay Conner [00:39:17]:
I tried that. I tried that program. It doesn’t work too well. And, uh, speaking of which, purpose and passion. Eric, I was driving, I was riding down the road the other- not the other day, a few months ago with a dear friend of mine. And we go to church together, and he says, Jay, I got a question for you. I said, what’s that? He said, why are you doing everything you’re doing, traveling the nation and speaking and teaching real estate investors what you do and all this and that? And you still got your real estate investing business where you buy and sell houses. Why are you doing all that? You know, and I know you don’t have to do that.
Jay Conner [00:39:50]:
And I said, well, that’s an interesting question. I said, tell me a little bit more about what you’re digging into. Why would you even ask that question? He said, well, how do you reconcile what the Bible says? I said, what does the Bible say? He said, how do you reconcile that the Apostle Paul says to be content with whatever station of life you’re in and doing all this work? I said, ask me that one more way, a different way. He says, Jay, when is enough enough? I said, oh.
Erica Bailey [00:40:17]:
Oh.
Jay Conner [00:40:19]:
I thought I’d finally get to it if I asked it 3 times. I said, well, I have your answer. Enough is never enough when it’s not about you.
Erica Bailey [00:40:31]:
Enough is never enough when it’s not about you.
Jay Conner [00:40:35]:
That’s correct.
Erica Bailey [00:40:36]:
Powerful. That’s another note-taker one right there. That’s pretty powerful.
Jay Conner [00:40:41]:
Yep. Enough is never enough.
Erica Bailey [00:40:42]:
So tell me about your podcast.
Jay Conner [00:40:45]:
On My Lands is my podcast. So there you go. I’m in my 8th year, almost 800 episodes.
Narrator [00:40:52]:
Wow.
Jay Conner [00:40:52]:
And the name, the name of the podcast is Raising Private Money. I’m that Raising Private Money with Jay Conner. It’s on all your favorite podcast platforms, and we do 2 shows a week. It comes out on Monday mornings and Thursday mornings, and I’m all the time interviewing other real estate investors who have raised private money. So I interview them as to how they go about raising private money for single-family houses, commercial, multifamily, Self-storage, land,-doesn’t matter. We talk about all different kinds of real estate asset classes and how they raise private money for their deals. So yeah, come join the party, Raising Private Money with Jay Conner. It’s on all the podcast platforms.
Jay Conner [00:41:33]:
It’s on YouTube, it’s on Facebook, and everywhere.
Erica Bailey [00:41:38]:
That’s a value right there. That’s a value right there, though. If you’re like bringing up all of this and like you’re educating on your YouTube or on your podcast. Like, people need to take advantage of that because he knows what he’s talking about. He has guests who know what they’re talking about. Take advantage of this education because it’s huge. Wow. Impressive.
Erica Bailey [00:42:01]:
You’re going to say, by the way, you also have a book, right?
Jay Conner [00:42:04]:
Yes.
Erica Bailey [00:42:08]:
There you go. Yep. That’s how it’s spelled in here. We’ll make sure we get it, and we’ll make sure we put everything in the show notes too.
Jay Conner [00:42:14]:
Sure. Sure. But yeah, so I do have a book, and Erica, may I give my book as a gift to your audience?
Erica Bailey [00:42:22]:
Abso-freaking-lutely.
Jay Conner [00:42:25]:
Awesome. So the name of my book is Where to Get the Money Now. Where to Get the Money Now. Subtitle: How and Where to Get Money for Your Real Estate Deals Without Ever Relying on Traditional or Hard Money Lenders. And it’s $20 at Amazon, but don’t spend $20 at Amazon. Let me give it to you. So you can pick up the book. I’ll autograph it for you.
Jay Conner [00:42:46]:
I’ll express mail it to you. You can pick up the book at www.JayConner.com/Book. Again, that’s www.JayConner.com/Book. Uh, just cover shipping. Hey, another gift. I’m going to include 2 tickets To the Private Money Conference live event the Private Money Conference live event. I’m going to include 2 tickets with the book, and it’s a $3,000 event, but I’m going to throw 2 tickets in there. We have another event coming up very, very soon.
Jay Conner [00:43:26]:
So there you go.
Erica Bailey [00:43:27]:
When do you, do you have information on the events on your sites too? I’m assuming you’re pretty—
Jay Conner [00:43:32]:
Oh yeah.
Erica Bailey [00:43:32]:
I’m sure you— good.
Jay Conner [00:43:34]:
Absolutely.
Erica Bailey [00:43:36]:
Wonderful. Well, so I always end up and, you know, we’ve heard, you know, dad, granddaddy, like these people are very influential in your life. But if we’re looking, excuse me, who is somebody, an entrepreneur or an innovator who has,s like, inspired you in, in, in some pretty special ways? Maybe somebody other people should go check out. It’s called Innovative Entrepreneurs anyway, you know, so.
Announcer [00:44:02]:
Absolutely.
Erica Bailey [00:44:02]:
Gotta ask the hard questions.
Jay Conner [00:44:04]:
I highly recommend Jack Canfield. Jack Canfield. He’s the co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series with Mark Victor Hansen. And Jack Canfield, Carol Jo, and I have been to more than one of his live events, and he’s amazing. And I highly recommend his book. And the book is called The Success Principles. The Success Principles. And each, each principle, it’s a short little chapter, but very, very powerful.
Erica Bailey [00:44:32]:
Yeah.
Jay Conner [00:44:33]:
And there are 65 success principles.
Erica Bailey [00:44:35]:
Okay.
Jay Conner [00:44:36]:
And it’s just been recently updated, so I highly recommend his book.
Erica Bailey [00:44:41]:
What? Well, I’m definitely gonna check that out. We’ll make sure, guys, we put that in the show notes as well. Thank you so much, Jay. Your energy is just like, I feel like I can take on the world today. So I’m really grateful. Thank you for all of your information. Thank you for sharing your book with us, with the tickets. So we’ll make sure we put all of that in there.
Erica Bailey [00:45:01]:
And, you know, I wish you the best, man. I can’t wait for our, our friend to see that we had a conversation together today. That’s gonna be so much fun.
Jay Conner [00:45:09]:
You got it. Thank you for having me, Erica. Thank you so much.
Announcer [00:45:14]:
Wow. What a great episode.
Erica Bailey [00:45:17]:
I hope you had as much fun as I did.
Announcer [00:45:19]:
If you want more of this goodness, make sure you subscribe so that you get notifications. Notifications for future podcasts. And if you found value from this, please share it with others. You can visit our website at cwgdigital.com. This is Erika Bailey. I am your host, and I will see you next time.
Narrator [00:45:41]:
Are you feeling inspired by the knowledge you gained in this episode? Then head over to www.JayConner.com/MoneyGuide. That’s www.JayConner.com/MoneyGuide, and download your free guide that shares 7 reasons why private money will skyrocket your real estate investing business right now. Again, that’s www.JayConner.com/MoneyGuide to get your free guide. We’ll see you next time on Raising Private Money with Jay Conner.