***Guest Appearance
Credits to:
https://www.youtube.com/@michelleperkins-limitfreel2446
“Episode 169: Unlocking Wealth: The Power of Raising Private Money”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gf8y37moYos
When it comes to real estate investing, funding is often the biggest hurdle. Most new and seasoned investors alike have stories of navigating the strict requirements of banks, gathering painful piles of paperwork, and still facing rejection or unexpected closures of credit lines. But what if there was a way to access money for your real estate deals without begging banks, risking your assets, or making desperate pitches?
Private Money: An Alternative Path
On a recent episode of the “Raising Private Money” podcast, Michelle Perkins sat down with real estate investor Jay Conner, who shared his journey from being “owned by the bank” to raising millions in private funding. When Jay started in real estate back in 2003, he was convinced that banks were the only way to finance investments. He soon found out how vulnerable he was when his trusted banker shut down his credit line overnight, leaving him scrambling to fund two projects.
Jay’s turning point came when he discovered the concept of “private money,” which involves borrowing directly from individuals—not institutions—who are seeking higher, safer returns for their investment capital or retirement funds. With clear enthusiasm, Jay described private money as “where an individual just like you or me can take their investment capital, loan the money … and repay them high rates of return safely and securely.”
Changing Your Money Mindset
Both Michelle and Jay agreed that the journey to financial freedom in real estate begins in the mind. Jay is a big believer that “until you own the real estate between your ears, it’s going to be hard to own real estate” in any other sense. Many people are constrained by their beliefs about money and investing, sometimes without even realizing it. If the traditional banking system has left you wary or you feel unqualified to approach “sophisticated” lenders, you’re not alone.
Jay emphasized that private lenders are everyday people: retired teachers, former police officers, small business owners, and even teenagers who inherited funds. Most of his 47 private lenders had never heard of private real estate loans or self-directed IRAs until he put on his “teacher hat” and explained the opportunity.
How to Attract Private Money
One of the biggest misconceptions Jay highlighted is that raising private money requires you to be a slick salesperson. Desperation has a “smell,” and people are naturally repelled by it. Jay’s approach is radically different: lead with value, teach others about the opportunity, and avoid traditional selling.
He shared his exact script for working with new lenders: after teaching the basics and identifying someone interested, he simply informs them when a deal is ready to be funded. “I have great news for you. I can now put your money to work. I have a house under contract …” and then provides the details. There’s no high-pressure pitch or fearful plea—just a professional, service-oriented process.
The Win-Win of Private Lending
What’s in it for the lenders? Many people are frustrated with the paltry returns from savings accounts and the volatility of the stock market. Private lending allows them to earn competitive, even “insane,” rates of return securely, often backed by real estate. The investor, meanwhile, gets flexibility, speed, and the ability to control deal terms. It’s a win-win.
Start Your Journey
Jay is passionate about sharing this knowledge, offering his book “Where to Get the Money Now” as a guide for those ready to step off the conventional financing treadmill. And in a world where access to institutional money is tighter than ever, learning the art of attracting private money can truly be a game-changer.
If you’re looking to scale your real estate business or simply want to invest more effectively, consider expanding your financial mindset. As Jay and Michelle showed, the possibilities are much wider—and more accessible—than you might think. The first step? Start teaching, start serving, and watch the money find you.
10 Discussion Questions from this Episode:
- Jay shares his experience with being abruptly cut off from his local bank. How do you think this event shaped his approach to real estate investing and private money?
- How does Jay differentiate between “private money” and “hard money”? What are the key distinctions that investors should understand?
- Jay emphasizes the importance of mindset when it comes to money and investing. How does your mindset impact your financial decisions, and what steps can be taken to cultivate a healthier money mindset?
- The concept of “attracting” rather than “chasing” money comes up several times. In what ways can this philosophy be applied beyond real estate and investing?
- Discuss the importance of asking the right questions in times of crisis, as Jay did. Can you recall a moment when reframing a problem with a powerful question helped you find a solution?
- Michelle and Jay talk about the lack of financial education in traditional schooling. How might more accessible education about private money and investing change the average person’s financial future?
- What role does trust play in the private lending process, according to Jay? How does his teacher-led, “servant’s heart” approach help build that trust?
- Jay outlines the kinds of people who make up his network of private lenders, including retired teachers, a police officer, and even minors. How does this challenge assumptions about who can participate as a private lender?
- Jay suggests that desperation has a “smell” and advises against approaching investors or lenders from a mindset of scarcity. How can someone shift out of that scarcity mindset in stressful financial times?
- After hearing Jay’s script for approaching new private lenders, what do you think about his strategy of never directly asking for money? How might this shift the dynamic of similar conversations in business or personal life?
Fun facts that were revealed in the episode:
- Jay Conner’s First Private Lender Came from Bible Study: Jay’s journey into private money lending began unusually—his very first private lender was someone he chatted with after a Wednesday night Bible study, proving that your everyday connections could open major financial doors!
- Retired School Teachers Invest Big: Among Jay’s private lenders are two retired school teachers who, together, have invested over $1.25 million in his real estate deals. Private lending isn’t just for high-powered financiers—everyday people from all walks of life can get involved.
- A Sudden Bank Shutdown Boosted His Success: Jay’s path dramatically changed when his bank suddenly shut down his line of credit in the middle of his real estate career. Instead of giving up, he learned about creative financing through private money, and within a few months, raised over $2 million from new private lenders without ever having to beg, chase, or even ask directly for funds.
Timestamps:
00:01 Discovering Private Money & IRAs
05:13 Overcoming Mindset Blocks in Development
07:05 Small Market Real Estate Strategy
10:20 Discovering Private Money Lending
13:49 Introducing Private Lending: A Beginner’s Guide
17:07 Desperation and Fear in Investing
22:37 Coincidence Debunked
24:54 Direct vs. Indirect Private Lending
26:30 Private Money Networking Tactics
31:14 Attracting Private Lenders for Real Estate
33:50 Finding Off-Market Real Estate Deals
38:48 Self-Directed IRA Investment Steps
41:30 Private Lending Agreement Terms
43:33 Raising Private Money Podcast
Connect With Jay Conner:
Private Money Academy Conference:
Free Report:
https://www.jayconner.com/MoneyReport
Join the Private Money Academy:
https://www.JayConner.com/trial/
Have you read Jay’s new book, Where to Get the Money Now?
It is available FREE (all you pay is the shipping and handling) at https://www.JayConner.com/Book
What is Private Money? Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner
http://www.JayConner.com/MoneyPodcast
Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. Without using his own money or credit, Jay maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $67,000 per deal.
#RealEstate #RealEstateInvesting #RealEstateInvestingForBeginners #Foreclosures #FlippingHouses #PrivateMoney #RaisingPrivateMoney #JayConner
YouTube Channel
https://www.youtube.com/c/RealEstateInvestingWithJayConner
Apple Podcast:
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/jay.conner.marketing
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/JayConner01
Pinterest:
https://www.pinterest.com/JConner_PrivateMoneyAuthority
Shifting Beliefs for Financial Freedom: Jay Conner’s Guide to Private Money and Real Estate
Jay Conner [00:00:03]:
Have you ever heard of private money? I said, No. What is private money? He said, Well, private money and private lenders are where an individual, just like you or me, can take their investment capital, loan the money to us on our deal, and repay them high rates of return safely and securely. I said, No, I never heard of doing business with a private lender. He said, Well, have you also heard of self-directed IRAs? I said, No. What’s that? He said, well, a self directed IRA is a company or a third party custodian that’s been approved by the IRS that allows individuals to take current retirement funds, move them over to the self directed IRA company with no tax effect and no penalty and then once it’s moved over, they can then loan those retirement funds out to us real estate investors and then we get to pay them either tax deferred or tax free interest income. I said, Jeff, I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.
Michelle Perkins [00:01:15]:
Hey there, and welcome to MONEY and you. I’m Michelle Perkins, your host. My search for more fulfilling work led me to career and business coaching, where I stumbled upon a game-changing discovery. Money issues often start with our mindset and habits. You see, our relationship with money is the key to overcoming those frustrating financial obstacles. As an entrepreneur, coach, and problem solver, I’m passionate about helping you create a great relationship with money because it turns out that’s the foundation for a limit-free life. Each week on MONEY’d I speak with amazing guests about all things money, mindset, practical tips and and everything in between. We’re here to give you new insights, education, and empowerment, so money can be one of your favorite relationships.
Michelle Perkins [00:02:00]:
So join us for some lively conversations, and let’s transform your financial life together. Hello. Hello and welcome to another episode of the Money and You Show. I’m Michelle Perkins, your host. Very excited to be here today, and we’re going to do a great show today around real estate. So you know, I love to talk about your relationship with money, and people have very interesting mindsets around investing in real estate. A lot of beliefs, some of them that serve them, some of them that may be false, limiting sort of beliefs. So I have an amazing expert with me today who offers some, you know, some new ways to think about real estate and to make real estate investing happen for you.
Michelle Perkins [00:02:49]:
So very excited to introduce you to today’s guest, and I’m going to go ahead and tell you a little about him. Jay Conner began investing in real Estate in 2003 at the start of his career. He relied on his local banker and was able to put together a few deals. However, that also meant coming up with large down payments, paying origination fees, and signing personal guarantees on every deal. After years of feeling owned by the bank and being stressed out, he learned how to buy properties using creative financing, including subject-to and using lease options. After the market crashed in 2008, his banker cut him off. Jay had to abandon everything he knew about how to finance his deals. Then he heard about the world of private money.
Michelle Perkins [00:03:41]:
He developed his system for gathering millions of dollars for real estate deals. Over several years, Jay refined his system until it was repeatable and dependable. When he put it to the test, the first person he approached gave him $250,000 in private money. In just a few short months, Jay raised $2,150,000 in private money. Despite initially cursing his banker, Jay now thanks him. Jay’s unique system allows him to enjoy seven-figure profits year after year. He also has the freedom to work less than 10 hours a week in his real estate investing business by leveraging the power of automation. Jay, welcome.
Jay Conner [00:04:21]:
Oh my lands. Michelle, thank you so much for inviting me to come along and be on your show and talk about what I’m most passionate about, and that’s this world of private money. Since I learned about private money, I’ve never missed out on a deal for not having the money. And I’m so glad that your show focuses so much on mindset and the relationship with money because I tell people all the time, until you own the real estate between your ears, it’s going to be hard to own real estate in and of itself. So yes, thank you so much for inviting me to come along, and we’re, and we’ll dive in here, Michelle. And, on the show, we’ll talk about how in the world you can go about getting all the money for your real estate deals without ever asking for money?
Michelle Perkins [00:05:13]:
Well, that is very exciting. And I have to say, you know, I thought I tackled a lot of my mindset issues, limits, traps, blocks, whatever you want to call them. Until this year, I was doing something different and I was developing an investment property, more, you know, a sort of higher level property than I had really ever anticipated having. And so I got tripped up by my fears about it, my kind of feelings about stepping into something that was a little bit beyond my comfort zone, actually a lot beyond my comfort zone. And then working with somebody who was very experienced as a developer with higher-end properties, and his way of thinking was very different than Mine. And I tried to be open-minded, even though I was having a lot of worries and resistance,,e and we had a lot of arguments. But. But I could see the way he thought about this so differently than I did.
Michelle Perkins [00:06:20]:
So I’d love. I’d love for you to just start by telling us, you know, how you got to this place where you’re doing this.
Jay Conner [00:06:28]:
Sure. Well, my wife, Carol Joy, and I live here in eastern North Carolina in a really, really small area. Our total target market is only 40,000 people. We live here in what’s called the southern tip of the Outer Banks. So it’s a resort area as our main industry, but it’s still a small market. Well, we started investing in single-family houses back in 2003 here in the local area. Since that time, we have bought and flipped over 500 houses. I don’t say that to brag.
Jay Conner [00:07:05]:
I do say that, though, to make a point. There’s an argument to be made that there are a lot of advantages in owning a smaller market, being a big fish in a small pond, instead of trying to compete with all the other real estate investors in a big city. Nonetheless, we started in 2003. Now, Michelle, from 2003 until 2009, the first six years that we were investing in single-family houses, the only thing that I knew to do to get my deals funded was to go to the local bank, get on my hands and knees, and say, Please fund my deal. And, you know, I’d have to pull up my skirt to show my assets and financial statements and get my credit score pulled and all this. So, you know, for six years, I had to jump through quite a few hoops, even though I had a great credit score to get my deals funded. Well, so it worked okay. It worked okay to use the local banks and institutional Money those first six years.
Jay Conner [00:08:07]:
Well, Michelle, everything changed. Everything changed in January 2009. Now, I know it may be hard for you to believe, but we still have actual phones and handsets, and cords here in North Carolina. But I picked up my telephone in January of 2009, and I called my banker, and my banker’s name was Steve. And Steve had been funding my deals from the local bank for six years. And I told Steve about these two deals that I had under contract, these two houses I had under contract to purchase, and the funding required for the deals. Well, I learned like that immediately over the phone during that call that the bank had closed my line of credit with no notice. Michelle.
Jay Conner [00:08:53]:
Yeah. And so I said to Steve over the phone, I said Steve, what in the world are you saying? Why are you saying that my line of credit has been closed after we’ve had six years of a great business relationship? He said, Jay, don’t you know there’s a global financial crisis going on right now? I said, No, Steve, but you just gave me a global financial crisis. I don’t have a way to fund my two deals. So I hung up the phone. When I sat here at this desk for just a moment and Michelle, I asked myself a very powerful question. And you know, the power’s in the right in asking the right questions. So I asked myself this question. I want to share this question with you and your audience because this question will help fix any problem that anybody’s got.
Jay Conner [00:09:41]:
And by the way, these people are running around saying, Oh, every problem’s an opportunity. I want to throw up. I didn’t have an opportunity. I had a problem. Let’s face the facts. So this question I asked myself will help fix any problems, such as I don’t care if it’s financial, career, health, or relationships, it doesn’t matter. And here’s the question I asked myself when I got off the phone with my banker. I said, Jay, who do you know that can help fix your problem? And I immediately, when I asked myself that question, I thought of our good friend Jeff Blankenship.
Jay Conner [00:10:20]:
He was living in Greensboro, North Carolina, at the time, back in 2009, and he was investing in single-family houses. So I called him up, I called up Jeff, I told him I had just been cut off from the bank, and I was wanting to know what he was, you know, doing to fund his deals. And he said, Jay, welcome to the club. I said, Well, what club is that? He said the club of the bank is shutting you down. He said, My bank shut me down last week. I said, Well, Jeff, how are you going to fund your real estate deals? He said, Well, have you ever heard of private money? I said, no. What is private money? He said, well, private money and private lenders are where an individual, just like you or me, can take their investment capital, loan the money to us on our deal, and repay them high rates of return safely and securely. I said, No, I never heard of doing business with a private lender.
Jay Conner [00:11:16]:
He said, Well, have you also heard of self-directed IRAs? I said, no. What’s that? He said, well, a self-directed IRA is a company or a third-party custodian that’s been approved by the IRS that allows individuals to take current retirement funds, move them over to the self-directed IRA company with no tax effect and no penalty. And then once it’s moved over, they can then loan those retirement funds out to us real estate investors, and then we get to pay them either tax-deferred or tax-free interest income. I said, Jeff, I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about, but I knew Jeff had told me something. So we talked about that a little bit. And then I hung up the phone, and Michelle, I went to study. In this world of private money, the first thing I did was get my mindset right. You see, I wanted to attract, I didn’t want to chase.
Jay Conner [00:12:17]:
I wanted to attract private money into my life without chasing, no begging, no selling, no persuading. I wanted to attract the money from my deals. So here’s the way I set out to do it, and I still do it today. So the first thing I wanted to do is have a servant’s heart, lead with teaching, and lead with value in visiting with other people. So I started with my own, what I call a warm market, my connections. And before I started visiting with my connections, I put together what I call my private lending program. Here’s a big difference between borrowing institutional money and this world of private money. With institutional money at the bank or with a hard money lender.
Jay Conner [00:13:03]:
And when I say private money, I’m not talking hard money. Those are two different things. Hard money is an institutional lender, typically a broker. Well, one of the big differences is that when you borrow money from an institution, they make the rules. They set the interest rate, they set the length of a note, they set the maximum loan-to-value, etc. Well, in this world of private money, we, the borrowers, make the rules. You see, instead of asking or applying for a mortgage, we’re offering a mortgage or offering an opportunity where people can earn high rates of return safely and securely in a world that they have never heard about. I’ve got 47 private lenders today that are funding our deals.
Jay Conner [00:13:49]:
And you know, Michelle, what’s interesting, not one of them had ever heard of private money or private lending until I did this. I put on my teacher hat, my private lender teacher hat, and I just went about in my connections teaching people what this world of private money is all about. Not one of my 47 private lenders had ever heard of private money or self-directed IRAs until I taught them about it. So the first thing I did was take the opportunity. What’s the interest rate I pay? How are they protected? How can they get their money back early in case of an emergency? So I just taught them the program without having any kind of a deal attached to it, just the program. And then once they are interested, they tell me how much they’ve got to invest. Then I come back to them for a deal to fund, and I never pitch the deal.
Jay Conner [00:14:51]:
Now, what I want to do, Michelle, after you permit me, I want to share with you and your audience the exact script on how I get my deals funded without ever asking anybody to fund them. But I want to give it back to you first to see if there’s anything I need to clarify before I share the exact script.
Michelle Perkins [00:15:11]:
Well, this is great. And. And I mean, I love your enthusiasm for this. And I’m smiling the whole time. I do have a million questions. I mean, everything you’re saying, I’m glomming on to thinking, ooh, first, I don’t know, I. There’s something so magical about this show. I always attract guests who understand how important it is to attract what you want.
Michelle Perkins [00:15:37]:
And like you say, not chase it, not be desperate about it, but just do the mindset work and the actual work that just attracts to you what you’re seeking, and that’s huge. So I just love it. It makes me so happy. I don’t know why I don’t get guests coming onto the show who believe otherwise, which is so exciting, because I don’t know what I would do if they shut up and start saying the opposite.
Jay Conner [00:16:01]:
That is the law of attraction, I believe. Well, what part of the law of attraction says is, first of all, what you focus on is going to manifest in your life. You’re going to attract that. I believe that we attract into our lives people who are like us. You know, Michelle, I don’t know who came up with the. With the belief that opposites attract. That’s the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard in my life. I want to hang around people who are like me, who have my same core values, I’ve got my same belief, belief system.
Jay Conner [00:16:34]:
So, yes, I think that’s the reason it happens. And, you know, one thing you said just a second ago, Michelle, I got to share this with you. So I got a writer downer for you. I got a writer downer for your audience. If you don’t know what a writer downer is, that’s simply Southern for, you need to write this down. So you said the word desperation a moment ago, and here is the writer downer, quote, unquote. Desperation has got a smell to it. That’s good. Desperation’s got a smell to it.
Jay Conner [00:17:07]:
Now, what do I mean by that? Of course, you know what I mean, Michelle, but what? What I mean by desperation has got a smell to it is when you’re feeling desperate, when you’re feeling lack, when you’re feeling scarcity, then whoever you’re visiting with senses that, I mean, you are exuding what you’re feeling. And so, you know, sometimes new real estate investors that haven’t raised capital before, one thing they’ll say to me, Michelle, and there’s that word fear. I think you mentioned that word fear in the opening. But sometimes they’ll say to me, they’ll say, Jay, I’ve got a fear of rejection. I don’t want to ask for money because I’m afraid I’ll be rejected. Well, I answer that concern with a question. And the question is, how can you be rejected if you’re not asking anybody for anything? You’re leading with a servant’s heart.
Jay Conner [00:18:03]:
You got your teacher hat on. You’re leading with value. You’re teaching people this world, this opportunity, that 99.99% of people walking around have never heard about it.
Michelle Perkins [00:18:16]:
You’re right. And, you know, the funny thing is I’m seeing a lot of headlines about it, but I think for most people, when they see a headline about, you know, the, the growing world of private equity, when they’re looking at the, you know, their stock newsletters or whatever, I think they sort of gloss over it because they don’t know what it is. And, you know, it’s. It’s a whole other world that has, well, none of nothing about money has been taught to us, as you know. But throughout the years of starting it.
Jay Conner [00:18:49]:
You don’t learn it in traditional education, right?
Michelle Perkins [00:18:52]:
Exactly. So you have to make a bigger effort. And it’s a big world. You know, there are a lot of topics and a lot of things to learn, and it can get pretty confusing. So I love it when somebody like you can come here and, you know, teach people what something is that they may otherwise just ignore because it sounds too complicated. A couple of other things that you said. One thing, you know, banks and other institutions will surprise you with the power that they have over you. We, too, had a line of credit shut down.
Michelle Perkins [00:19:25]:
It wasn’t real estate related; it was business related. But it was a shocker to me. I was just like, can you do this? I mean, you know, and they wanted all their money back. It was maxed out, and they wanted everything back within like three months or something. So it was pretty crazy. This other, I think, more important thing, that’s just sort of a beware kind of statement. But what I loved was the question and the fact that you asked yourself a really important, powerful question when you had this problem and somebody else had been talking on this subject, not on the podcast, in a group I’m in, and said, always ask yourself who, not what, and which is exactly what you were saying. And so I love that because we forget.
Michelle Perkins [00:20:14]:
We sit there and we panic and we think, I’ve got to figure out the solution. And really, what we should be thinking of is who can help me with this? So that was brilliant. And I just want to kind of reiterate that because people don’t naturally go there.
Jay Conner [00:20:30]:
So that’s good, right? I’m verifying it right now. But there’s a book that was written recently. I think it’s by. I know who it’s by. It’s by Dan Sullivan, co-author, Dr. Benjamin Hardy. And the name of the book, it just came out three or four years ago. The name of the book is who, not how.
Michelle Perkins [00:20:54]:
Maybe that’s where I heard it.
Jay Conner [00:20:55]:
Yeah. And I highly recommend it. Carol, Joy,, and I were so blessed to get to meet Dr. Benjamin Hardy. He’s got a fascinating story. He, Dr. Benjamin Hardy, also. Speaking of mindset, Dr.
Jay Conner [00:21:10]:
Benjamin Hardy also came out. Yep, that’s the book right there. Wow, that’s magical. Michelle. Dr. Benjamin Hardy also published or wrote a book a couple of years ago. It’s amazing. Talk about mindset.
Jay Conner [00:21:28]:
The name of the book is Be Your Future Self. Love now.
Michelle Perkins [00:21:33]:
Oh, my Lord. Okay.
Jay Conner [00:21:34]:
Be your future self now.
Michelle Perkins [00:21:37]:
Can I tell you a story? I have to interrupt you.
Jay Conner [00:21:40]:
Please do.
Michelle Perkins [00:21:41]:
My sister was in the hospital last week, and I was taking care of her. I’m her guardian. I brought her home last night, so happy that she’s back in. In her place where she lives. I thought, I’m going to treat myself. I went to Barnes and Noble and guess what book I bought?
Jay Conner [00:21:58]:
Are you kidding?
Michelle Perkins [00:21:58]:
No, I’m not kidding. Yeah, that’s so crazy.
Jay Conner [00:22:01]:
Be your future self now.
Michelle Perkins [00:22:03]:
And I’d never heard of it before until I was reading. A friend of mine was just saying, Oh, my gosh, I’m loving this book. And. And I’m. I just went and. And bought that book last night. There it is. It’s on my dining room table.
Jay Conner [00:22:15]:
I just bought it. Since we happen to be talking, I just got a chill, Michelle.
Michelle Perkins [00:22:18]:
I know. Isn’t it crazy?
Jay Conner [00:22:20]:
Yeah, I just got a chill. You’d never heard of the book until as recently as you did yesterday.
Michelle Perkins [00:22:25]:
Yeah.
Jay Conner [00:22:26]:
Here I am on your show, and I’m talking about being your future self now, so.
Michelle Perkins [00:22:32]:
And how many books are out there in the world?
Jay Conner [00:22:37]:
So I gotta share with you and your audience my favorite definition. I didn’t come up with it. I don’t know who did. But when I heard it, here’s my favorite definition of coincidence. So we could say, oh, well, this is coincidental. I don’t think there are any coincidences. But anyway, you know, so it’s like, well, that’s coincidental that, you know, Michelle Perkins on her show just got this book yesterday. Here’s Jay on the show.
Jay Conner [00:23:03]:
He’s talking about the book. And so my favorite definition of coincidence is God’s way of staying anonymous.
Michelle Perkins [00:23:13]:
Ooh, that’s a. I have not heard that. That’s great.
Jay Conner [00:23:17]:
I love that.
Michelle Perkins [00:23:19]:
Yeah.
Jay Conner [00:23:19]:
Oh, my. Michelle, I’m so excited. Is it okay if I share the script right now?
Michelle Perkins [00:23:26]:
Yes. And let’s get back to private equity, because I still feel like people. You’re talking. You were talking. I think about both sides of the equation here. So the people who need money to fund what they want, and then the people who are lending. And you can do both in the private money world. But will you give us a little more clarity for people thinking, well, I can’t get bank loans, so let me listen to this guy and see what I can do?
Jay Conner [00:23:50]:
Sure. So, a private lender, I said it briefly a few minutes ago, but I want to reiterate it. So, a private lender is not institutional money. It’s not a bank. It’s not hard money. By the way, I’m not knocking hard money. Some of my best friends in the world are hard money lenders. They use my techniques to go raise money from private lenders for their hard money fund, to then turn around and lend out to real estate investors.
Jay Conner [00:24:23]:
And so a hard. So let’s be straight on this. A hard money lender for real estate is typically a broker. Typically is a broker of money that goes out and raises money from individuals, private lenders. Some private lenders raise money from private lenders for their fund,whicht they, in turn, loan out at a higher interest rate to U.S. real estate investors. And they charge points and extension fees, and they make the rules and all that. Again, I’m not knocking them.
Jay Conner [00:24:54]:
I’m just. I’m just pointing out the difference. In this world of private lending, there’s no middle person involved. You have an individual, the private lender, who’s loaning money to us, the borrower, the real estate investor, from either their investment capital or their retirement funds. And it’s directly between us. So one thing to just take note of is today in the world of hard money, and I’m just pointing this out, in the world of hard money, a lot of hard money lenders now call themselves private lenders when actually they are, they are the lender. But they’re getting the money from private lenders or private investors. Okay? So the way I raise, the way I attract private lending, I still can’t get over.
Jay Conner [00:25:47]:
You just got that book. The way, way I attract or get the money is I circumvent the middle person, okay. The hard money lender or broker. And I go directly to the sources. And you know, I’m able to put on my teacher hat that I talked about earlier. Not one of our 47 private lenders had ever heard about private money, private lending, self-directed IRAs, and how they can use current retirement funds to earn tax-free or tax-deferred income until I taught them about it. And you know, one question comes up. Well, Jay, how did you get the word out so fast? Well, I had one visit.
Jay Conner [00:26:30]:
I mean, my very first private lender was on a Wednesday night from Bible study. I visited with him after Bible study. And that’s a fascinating story that we might not have time to get to. But I also put on private lender luncheons. Well, what in the world is a private lender luncheon? Well, a private luncheon is where I invite 15 or 20 people in my network out of my cell phone, you know, from the Rotary Club, everywhere. You’re connected. And I invite them to lunch, I buy them lunch, you know, give them a free lunch, and I teach them for 20 or 25 minutes what this world of private money is all about. And then they let me know if they want to hear more about it.
Jay Conner [00:27:11]:
I’ve raised $969,000 at one 60-minute luncheon.
Michelle Perkins [00:27:17]:
Wow.
Jay Conner [00:27:17]:
I mean, I didn’t get it there at lunch. Right. I mean that’s, that’s where the conversation started, you know, wow.
Michelle Perkins [00:27:26]:
Okay, so talk to me about the advantages and disadvantages. So you know, is it, who is this right for? I mean, you know, who’s and what are. Because I can imagine people thinking, well, this is going to be more expensive. This is going to be, you know, maybe even potentially riskier. I’m not sure.
Jay Conner [00:27:49]:
Yeah, yeah, so that’s a great question. So first of all, who is this for? So, so let me be clear on the question, Michelle, are you asking? Okay, what, what do the private lenders look like?
Michelle Perkins [00:28:02]:
Yeah, I think I’m asking a few questions. So that’s my bad. But, yeah, let’s answer that one.
Jay Conner [00:28:09]:
So, yeah, most real estate investors think that private lenders are these, you know, high-level, hard-to-reach people that are loaded with money and hard to talk to. And all that is a myth. All that is a myth. All that is in between your ears. It’s not true. Let me tell you. Let me give you the complexion of what my 47 private lenders look like. As I mentioned, not one of them had ever heard of private money or private lending until I taught them about it.
Jay Conner [00:28:46]:
Number two, who are they? Well, I have retired school teachers. I have a husband and a wife who have got $1,250,000 with me that we keep moving from project to project, project. Both of them are retired school teachers. I have a retired police officer who has just recently retired. I have minors. I have two people who are less than 18 years old.
Michelle Perkins [00:29:20]:
Wow.
Jay Conner [00:29:21]:
That inherited. Got an inheritance from their grandparents. And so the grandkids got the money, and so the parents didn’t know what they could do with the money. So I’ve got minors that are private lenders. I have a retired lieutenant colonel from the Marine Corps. And so the point is, I have, I have a lady, her husband recently passed away. They owned their print shop here in Morehead City. They’re entrepreneurs.
Jay Conner [00:29:56]:
I have another private lender who is working, and he is a civil engineer with Cherry Point Naval Air Station. Here’s the point. These are regular people. These are, are regular everyday people. And some of them may only have $50,000, some of them may have $200,000. I’ve got one private lender that was referred to me from another private lender, who has $600,000 with me. Just liquid investment capital. And he is an architect out in Arlington, Texas, who was referred to me.
Jay Conner [00:30:37]:
And so these people come from all walks of life. Never prejudge anybody, as far as you know, sharing what this information is all about. And, you know, you never know who they know. I mean, my first private lender, that we’re probably not gonna have time for me to share the story, but my first private lender, I didn’t ask him for money. I’ve never asked anybody for money. I told him I had opened up my real estate investing business by referral only and that I’m now paying high rates of return. Insane high rates of return. And I told him, I need your help.
Jay Conner [00:31:14]:
And he said, Well, what do you need my help with? I said, well, when you run across someone that’s complaining about losing money in the stock market or the volatility of it, or only getting, you know, three and a half percent in the local bank in a cd, would you refer them to me and I’ll tell them about my opportunity to where they can get high rates of return safely and securely? Well, he wanted to get involved. I didn’t ask him for money. I just asked him for his help to spread the word. So he became a private lender just because I asked for his help. And then he referred a lot of private lenders to me, so. So the private lender is an ordinary, everyday person. All right, now, who is this money for? What type of real estate investors is this for? Right, and I’ll tell you who it’s for. It’s for any real estate investor who wants to scale their business and would like to be able to get their deals funded in seven days or less.
Jay Conner [00:32:10]:
Yes, I get my deals funded in less than seven days. This money is for people who like to make their own rules. Would you like to be in control of setting your interest rate and not having to abide by the rules of the lender? Institutional money. This private money is for you if you want to do real estate. And here’s another big rider downer, never had to take any money to the closing table when you buy. And you always get a big check when you purchase the property. Who wants to get paid to buy properties?
Michelle Perkins [00:32:47]:
Yeah.
Jay Conner [00:32:47]:
Now that formula only works if you’re buying at a discounted price because the property is in some kind of distress, and that’s why you’re getting it at a discounted rate. But in this world of private money, I always pick up a big check from my real estate attorney, who does all my closings without me taking any money to the closing table. This private money is also for you if you want to get your cash flow fixed. We structure deals in our own business, so we don’t even have to pay monthly interest payments to our private lenders. So, think about fixing your cash flow. Buy a property, and get a big check when you buy. Don’t make any payments until you cash out on the deal. If you’re interested in getting your cash flow fixed and scaling your business, this private money is for you.
Michelle Perkins [00:33:39]:
Wow. Okay, that’s intriguing. And so, who is creating these deals? Is that being done by you,u, or how is this coming together?
Jay Conner [00:33:50]:
Deals are being created. By the real estate investor. So, for this system to work, you have to know how. You’ve got to know how to find deals. Right? Where do you find these deals? Well, you’ll have to have me back for that show. Michelle, how do you find these deals? I can tell you where you won’t find them. You don’t find them in the multiple listing service. I hadn’t bought anything on the multiple listing service in over five years.
Jay Conner [00:34:13]:
Since COVID, there have been no deals in the MLS. So all these deals that we find are off-market. In other words, they’re all for sale by owners. So you’ve got to know how to find them. We can do another show and talk about that.
Michelle Perkins [00:34:27]:
Interesting.
Jay Conner [00:34:28]:
But you’ve got to find them. You want to have the private money lined up first, so you can close quickly can take action on the deals. So, that’s an overview as to who this private money is for.
Michelle Perkins [00:34:43]:
Yeah, very interesting. Well, okay, so this is fascinating. It’s also a little bit complicated. But you’ve written a book on this, so tell us a little about your book.
Jay Conner [00:34:54]:
Very easy to read. I’m so excited about this book. And Michelle, may I give this book to your audience?
Michelle Perkins [00:35:00]:
Absolutely. Thank you.
Jay Conner [00:35:01]:
All right, well, it’s not an ebook. It’s an actual book. And Michelle, did you know the United States Postal Service is still in business?
Michelle Perkins [00:35:10]:
Yes.
Jay Conner [00:35:11]:
So I will autograph this book. So this is not an ebook. The name of the book is Where to Get the Money Now. Where to get the Money now subtitle is how and where to get money for your real estate deals without relying on hard money or institutional lenders. I’ll autograph the book. I’ll rush it out. Three-day delivery, three-day express, and you can pick it up. So the book is free.
Jay Conner [00:35:36]:
It’s 20 bucks on Amazon. But don’t spend 20 bucks. The book is free. Just cover shipping and handling. You can pick up the book at J. Connor. And by the way, I’m an er, not an or. You can pick up the book at J.
Jay Conner [00:35:48]:
Connor. J A Y C-O-N-N-E-R.com forward slash book. Again, that’s www.J Connor J-A Y C O N N E R.com forward slash book. And I’ll rush it right out to you.
Michelle Perkins [00:36:04]:
Well, that’s very generous. I’m going to get my copy. And I think this is interesting. I also think it’s a. An aspect of the financial world that is growing and that people should be aware of, and have, you know, more insight into.
Jay Conner [00:36:20]:
And well, you know, here we are in 2025. And I was asked recently, Jay, how important do you think private money is in 2025? Well, I got two answers. First of all, you can’t spend it all. It’s. There’s so much of it. And before COVID, there was $18 trillion in cash that could be used for. People were looking for a home. But now, in 2025, $31 trillion is available in cash that is looking for a home.
Jay Conner [00:36:57]:
So learn my system, put on your teacher hat, and attract the money. And in addition to that money, institutional money is tight, tight, tight. I used to live in Texas. That’s where I met Carol Joy, my wife. And they had a saying out there. Whoo. Tighter than Dick’s hat band. Well, I don’t know who Dick was, but money is tighter than Dick’s hat band right here in 2025.
Jay Conner [00:37:21]:
And you’ve got to have a great credit score. You’ve got to be able to prove, you know, your financial wherewithal. And so, I mean, it’s, I mean, I just looked it up last week, Michelle, 81% of Americans can’t even go to the local bank and get a mortgage. 81, that’s a big one. Well, if you’re going to be a real estate investor, the percentage is even higher than that of not being able to get it. Because as a real estate investor, you’ve got to, if you’re borrowing institutional money, you’ve got to do a lot of proving. So it’s tight. But guess what? In this world of private money, there’s more than you can use if you follow my easy-to-understand system.
Michelle Perkins [00:38:03]:
And did you give us your script? I don’t want to miss that.
Jay Conner [00:38:06]:
Oh, no, I didn’t. So I’m going to give the script right now. So here’s the script. Here’s the exact script on how I get my deals funded without ever asking for money. Remember, this is critical. Separate the conversations with your new private lender or potential private lender from teaching the program, and the opportunity to have a deal for them to fund. So, Michelle, let’s pretend, let’s say that you are one of my new private lenders. And let’s also hypothetically say that you had $150,000 sitting in maybe a former 401k.
Jay Conner [00:38:48]:
And let’s say I taught you about self-directed IRAs and how you can use those retirement funds. So I introduced you to my self-directed IRA representative, the company, and you’ve moved that $150,000 with no tax penalty, no tax effect over to the self-directed IRA company. When you did, I told you I’ll say, Michelle, I’m going to put your money to work for you just as soon as possible. Notice there’s been no conversation of aaboutarticular deal up until this point. So you moved your money over. I told you I’m going to put your money to work for you just as soon as possible. A week or two goes by, I call you up, and here’s the exact script. Here’s exactly what I say to you as my new private lender.
Jay Conner [00:39:32]:
You answer the phone, we have a little chit chat, and then here’s exactly what I say. Michelle, I have great news for you. I can now put your money to work. I’ve got a house under contract to purchase in Newport, North Carolina, right next door to where I live. The after-repaired value is $200,000. Now the funding required for the property is $150,000, which matches up to what you have. Closing is going to be next Tuesday. So I’ll need you to have your funds wired to my real estate attorney’s trust account by next Monday.
Jay Conner [00:40:09]:
I’m going to have my attorney email you the wiring instructions. That’s it. That’s the end of the conversation. The most stupid thing I could ask Michelle is Do you want to fund the deal? Of course, Michelle wants to fund the deal because she’s moved her money over to the self-directed IRA company, and she did that based on my recommendation. Michelle’s not making any money until I put her money to work for her as I promised. And she knows I’m not going to bring a deal for her to fund that doesn’t match the criteria of the program that I already taught. So quickly unpacking that you teach the program first, by the way. The entire program is right here in my book that I’m going to mail to you.
Jay Conner [00:40:55]:
The entire program that you teach is right here in the book. They move the money over. They are counting on you to put the money to work. And I’m not asking, begging, chasing, or persuading. I’m serving.
Michelle Perkins [00:41:09]:
Wow. Okay. I’m. I’m very curious now. I’ve got to get the book. So. Yeah, so you tell me that, and I agree to wire my money, and then what expectation do I have? How long do I get? A, you know, how far am I from a return? What. What’s the expectation I should have?
Jay Conner [00:41:30]:
Right. Well, as to whether we’re going to accrue the interest or if I’m going to make you monthly payments or quarterly payments, we will have agreed on that up front because different private lenders have different objectives. Some private lenders need the monthly income to live off of. They want their investment capital or their retirement funds. And so you wire the money, I close on the deal. And on the day that we close is when the clock starts kicking or clicking, and ticking for you to earn the interest that I promised you. The length of the notes is typically two years, but you know, I may only be in the deal for six months or nine months, and I’ll pay you off at that time, along with any unpaid accrued interest. Or if I got another deal right in the hopper, we can substitute the collateral, get an installment, or get a loan modification.
Jay Conner [00:42:25]:
You’ll sign up for that and you’ll. And your note will stay active, and you’ll keep earning money. So, yeah, the funds are wired. You immediately start earning money.
Michelle Perkins [00:42:35]:
Well, this is very cool. So I love that you’re teaching this. I love that you’re so knowledgeable about it and that you have, you know, written this book that people can learn from. So, thank you so much for being here. I do wish we had more time. There’s, there’s a lot more that we could talk about. So I might love having you back sometime to continue this conversation. But thank you so much.
Michelle Perkins [00:42:58]:
This is enlightening and, you know, I think anybody can hear your passion for it. And so it’s just energetically, I know there’s something really good here, and it is an important area for people to understand, myself included. So I can’t wait. So, thank you. And again, audience, please check out JConnor books, forward slash. I’m sorry, jconnner.com forward slash book. And you can get your. Your free book, except for shipping, and Michelle, my lens.
Jay Conner [00:43:33]:
I almost forgot to even mention I’m now in my eighth year of my podcast. And guess what the name of the podcast is? Raising Private Money. Raising Private Money. So it’s on all the platforms. So obviously, you listeners, you love podcasts, or you wouldn’t be here with Michelle Perkins. So, go to wherever your favorite podcast platform is and simply search for Raising Private Money with Jay Connor. And I have two shows a week, early Monday mornings and Thursday mornings. And I’m always interviewing amazing other real estate investors that have also raised private money.
Jay Conner [00:44:12]:
And I interview them about how they go about raising private money for their real estate deals.
Michelle Perkins [00:44:18]:
That’s Fantastic. Yes. I’m so glad you mentioned that because that sounds like a great podcast to listen to as well, so. And I think podcasting is a great way to learn, so it’s like, you know, short lessons every podcast, and. And I love it. So. And so many case studies and examples like what you just said, so that. That’s so great.
Jay Conner [00:44:37]:
Okay, Michelle, thank you so much for having me. I’ve loved being on the show with you.
Michelle Perkins [00:44:42]:
Thank you. I loved having you. We had a lot of synchronicity going on here, so this is great, and I very much appreciate your time and, yeah, look forward to speaking to you in the future. So. Okay, take care, Jay. And audience, thank you so much for being here. I hope you got a lot out of the show. I do hope you will get the book and enjoy that and, you know, give yourself a good education and a lot of opportunity to.
Michelle Perkins [00:45:08]:
To earn and to get involved in the private equity world. So. Okay, well, thank you for being here, and you know where to find us. We’re on all the podcast platforms. We’re on the Limit Free Life YouTube channel, and we would love it if you would share the show and rate, and review the show. That always helps us have great guests like Jay coming onto the show. So thanks so much, and we’ll see you next week.