Episode 236: Building Confidence and Securing Funds: Private Lending Tips and Strategies with Jay Conner

***Guest Appearance

Credits to:

https://www.youtube.com/@jasonbalara6929 

“Raising Private Money with Jay Conner | Know your WHY”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPGp8HHtd6Q 

  On the latest episode of the Raising Private Money, podcast we have an inspiring conversation between Jay Conner and Dr. Jason Balara on his Know Your Why podcast. Jay Conner dives deep into the nuances of raising private money and the resilience needed to succeed in real estate investing. With a background in traditional banking turned private lending expert, Jay Conner offers invaluable insights and inspiring stories that illustrate the power of persistence, a strategic mindset, and the importance of understanding your “why.”

Facing the Fear: Jay Conner’s Early Challenges

Jay Conner begins by recounting the nervousness he faced when asking for a private lending loan for the first time. Overcoming such nerve-wracking experiences is crucial, and Jay emphasizes that action is the antidote to anxiety. His initial discomfort didn’t deter him but rather fueled his drive to become proficient in raising private money.

The Breakthrough Luncheon: A Turning Point in Fundraising

Jay’s notable breakthrough came during his first private lender luncheon, a strategic event where he successfully raised $969,000 in verbal pledges within just one hour. This massive achievement, despite his initial discomfort, underscores the significance of preparation and a well-crafted presentation. He used a PowerPoint presentation to educate attendees on the private lending program, effectively communicating the benefits and security of investing.

Learning from Failure: The John Maxwell Principle

A recurring theme in the discussion is resilience through failure. Jay quotes leadership expert, John Maxwell, stating, “Success comes from failing more often,” highlighting that every failure is a step towards success if viewed as a learning opportunity. Both Jay and Jason Balara draw parallels between business and sports, emphasizing that just as athletes like Michael Jordan succeeded by persisting through failure, so too must entrepreneurs and investors.

Key Strategies for Securing Private Funds

Jay’s approach to securing private funds is rooted in education and relationship building. By positioning himself as a “private money teacher,” he shifts the focus from asking for money to offering an investment opportunity. This methodology not only enhances trust but also attracts potential lenders through the promise of high returns and secured investment.

Additionally, Jay shares his unique strategy called the “great news phone call,” informing lenders when their money is needed for a deal. This preemptive approach ensures that funds are readily available without the need for constant pitching, making the process smoother and more efficient.

Mindset Shift: Overcoming Initial Discomfort

Transitioning from discomfort to confidence is a crucial part of Jay’s journey. He acknowledges that initial discomfort is natural when venturing into new territory but asserts that practice and persistence lead to growing competence and comfort. Quoting Crystal Baker, Jay affirms, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone,” which is a mantra that underscores the growth experienced from tackling challenges head-on.

The Importance of Resilience: Lessons from Personal Experiences

Jay shares a touching personal anecdote about his grandfather teaching him resilience. After being thrown off a pony, young Jay was encouraged to get back on, instilling a lifelong lesson in persistence. This lesson translated into his business life, especially when traditional banks cut off his credit lines, prompting him to explore private money as a funding alternative.

The Power of Knowing Your ‘Why’

Understanding one’s motivation is a central theme of the podcast. When Jason Balara asks Jay about his “why,” Jay recounts a conversation with a friend who questioned when “enough is enough.” Jay’s response underscores his desire to make a significant impact rather than merely achieving financial success. He explains that real fulfillment comes from helping others, whether it’s through his real estate ventures or his educational Mastermind group.

Conclusion and Resources

Jay concludes the session by stressing the importance of a mindset shift for success and inviting listeners to explore his Private Money Challenge,” a series of educational videos on raising private money available at privatemoneychallenge.com. Additionally, his podcast Raising Private Money with Jay Conner offers further insights and can be found on multiple platforms.

For those eager to dive deeper, Jay provides a free guide at www.JayConner.com/MoneyGuide, designed to inspire and equip real estate investors with the knowledge needed to leverage private money effectively.

Final Thoughts

This episode of the “Know Your Why” podcast with Jay Conner offers a treasure trove of wisdom for anyone looking to succeed in real estate investing. Whether it’s learning from failures, understanding the importance of resilience, or adopting a strategic approach to securing funds, Jay Conner’s experiences and insights provide valuable lessons that transcend the realm of real estate and apply to any entrepreneurial journey.

10 Discussion Questions from this Episode:

  1. How do Jay Conner’s initial nerves and first experiences with private lending loans highlight the importance of taking action in overcoming challenges? How can this be applied to other areas of business or personal growth?
  2. Jay Conner raised nearly $1 million at his first private lender luncheon. What strategies can you identify from this event that were critical to its success, and how might these be replicated in other fundraising scenarios?
  3. Both Jay Conner and Jason Balara discuss the importance of learning from failure. Can you think of a personal or professional instance where failure led to a significant breakthrough or learning experience for you?
  4. Jay Conner emphasizes the mindset of positioning oneself as a teacher when discussing investment opportunities. How can this educational approach benefit other industries, not just real estate?
  5. Jay shared several personal anecdotes, like the story of being thrown off a pony as a lesson in resilience. Can you share a personal story that taught you resilience or persistence?
  6. Jay Conner and Jason Balara draw parallels between sports and business success, especially focusing on resilience. How can lessons from sports figures like Michael Jordan be effectively integrated into a business mindset?
  7. Jay discusses the E + R = O (Event + Response = Outcome) formula for managing life events. How have you implemented this or a similar framework in managing challenges in your own life?
  8. The episode highlights the critical shift in mindset required for raising private money. What specific mindset shifts have you found necessary in your professional journey, and how have they influenced your success?
  9. Jay Conner’s approach emphasized educating potential lenders rather than directly asking for money. How can this principle of providing value before seeking investment be applied in other contexts, such as entrepreneurship or community projects?
  10. In the conversation, Jay and Jason discuss the concept of “enough is never enough” when it comes to helping others. How do you define “enough” in your personal or professional life, and how does this definition impact your motivation and goals?

 

Fun facts that were revealed in the episode: 

  1. Jay Conner raised an impressive $969,000 during his first private lender luncheon within just one hour despite being initially nervous.
  2. Jay’s unconventional approach involves educating potential lenders rather than directly asking for money, which helps secure funding more effectively.
  3. Jay shared a personal story of resilience taught by his grandfather, who encouraged him to get back on a pony after being thrown off, highlighting the importance of persistence.

 

Timestamps:

00:01 Raising Private Monet Without Asking For It

05:07 Friend advised using private money and IRAs.

06:56 Started a private lending program for individuals.

11:20 Crafting real estate strategies for maximum returns.

14:49 Offering high returns on real estate investments.

17:34 Raised $969,000 in 60 minutes through luncheon.

21:03 Belief in opportunity shifts mindset significantly.

25:21 Choose action over defeat; seek private help.

30:17 Success takes persistence despite failure. Keep trying.

31:14 Business failure creates opportunities; perseverance is powerful.

35:12 Resilience: always get back on.

38:14 Driven to impact lives and make a difference.

42:14 Consider others; wealth’s impact transcends personal gain.

 

Connect With Jay Conner: 

Private Money Academy Conference: 

https://www.JaysLiveEvent.com

Free Report:

https://www.jayconner.com/MoneyReport

Join the Private Money Academy: 

https://www.JayConner.com/trial/

Have you read Jay’s new book: Where to Get The Money Now?

It is available FREE (all you pay is the shipping and handling) at https://www.JayConner.com/Book 

What is Private Money? Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner

http://www.JayConner.com/MoneyPodcast 

Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. Without using his own money or credit, Jay maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $67,000 per deal.

#RealEstate #RealEstateInvesting #RealEstateInvestingForBeginners #Foreclosures #FlippingHouses #PrivateMoney #RaisingPrivateMoney #JayConner

YouTube Channel

https://www.youtube.com/c/RealEstateInvestingWithJayConner 

Apple Podcast:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/private-money-academy-real-estate-investing-with-jay/id1377723034 

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/jay.conner.marketing  

Twitter:

https://twitter.com/JayConner01

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.com/JConner_PrivateMoneyAuthority

Building Confidence and Securing Funds: Private Lending Tips and Strategies with Jay Conner

 

Narrator [00:00:01]:

If you’re a real estate investor and are wondering how to raise and leverage private money to make more profit on every deal, then you’re in the right place. On raising private money, we’ll speak with new and seasoned investors to dissect their deals and extract the best tips and strategies to help you get the money because the money comes first. Now here’s your host, Jay Conner.

 

Jay Conner [00:00:28]:

Here’s the question I ask myself, powerful question. And by the way, this question will help fix any problem anybody’s got going on. I don’t care if it’s career, financial, or health, doesn’t matter. Here’s the question. I said, Jay, who do you know that can help you with your problem? Who do I know that could help me with my problem?

 

Jason Balara [00:00:52]:

Hey there. I am Dr. Jason Balara, and this is the Know Your Why podcast, where we explore the why behind success. Every week, I meet with real estate investors, veterinary entrepreneurs, mindset coaches, authors, and fitness professionals to uncover their why and how it drives them on the winding road to success. What is your why?

 

Jason Balara [00:01:18]:

Hi, everyone. I’m Jason Balara, and this is the Know Your Why podcast. Today, I’m here with Jay Conner. Jay has been buying and selling houses since 2003 in a population of only 40,000 people and now has profits averaging 82,000 per deal, which is, quite good in today’s market, I’m sure. Jay, it says you’ve rehabbed over 500 houses. I mean, there’s a ton of stuff here. As I mentioned before we started recording, I like to let the guests kinda tell their stories themselves. But first, I would just like to say thank you for coming to the show.

 

Jason Balara [00:01:53]:

Thank you for taking the time out. I’m excited for the conversation today.

 

Jay Conner [00:01:58]:

Well, Jason, thank you so much for inviting me to come along to talk about my favorite subject that I’m most passionate about, and, of course, that’s private money for real estate deals. That strategy has had more of an impact on our business than anything else since 2003.

 

Jason Balara [00:02:16]:

Fantastic. Fantastic. Well, why don’t we just get a little bit of your background? 2003, we’re now 20-plus years from that. So, give us a little rundown of kind of how it went, and then we’ll dive in from there.

 

Jay Conner [00:02:30]:

Sure. Well, my wife, Carol Joy, and I started investing in single-family houses here in Eastern North Carolina, total target market, of only 40,000 people. We started full-time in 2003 and from 2003, Jason, up until January of 2009, the only thing I knew to do to get funding for my real estate deals, primarily single-family houses, was to go to the local bank, get on my hands and knees, put my hands underneath my chin and say, please fund my deal and pull my skirt up so they could look at my assets and give me a colonoscopy and pull my credit score. That’s all I knew to do was to abide by their rules, to borrow institutional money. And that worked okay. Couldn’t close deals very quickly, but it worked okay for 6 years from 2003 to the beginning of 2009. And then I had a wake-up call. I was sitting here at my desk.

 

Jay Conner [00:03:28]:

I had 2 houses under contract to purchase, invest in, and flip. And I called up my banker. His name was Steve at the time. I told him about those 2 deals. And I learned on that telephone conversation very quickly that the bank had closed my line of credit with no notice to me. And I said to Steve, I said, what in the world are you saying that you close my line of credit? We’ve done a ton of deals together. I’ve always paid my payments on time. I’ve got, and still got a great credit rating.

 

Jay Conner [00:03:58]:

Why are you closing my line of credit? He says, Jay, don’t you know there’s a global financial crisis going on right now? And I said, no, but you just gave me a financial crisis. I said I don’t have a way to fund these two deals. So, I hung up the phone, Jason. I sat here and I’m going to share with you and your audience a very, very powerful question that I asked myself when I learned about my problem of not having money to fund the deals. By the way, Jason, these people are going around saying, Oh, every problem’s an opportunity. I want to throw up. I didn’t have an opportunity. Let’s get real.

 

Jay Conner [00:04:33]:

I had a problem. Now that problem might become an opportunity as it did, but at that time I had a problem. Well, here’s the question I asked myself. Powerful question. And, by the way, this question will help fix any problem anybody’s got going on. I don’t care if it’s career, financial, or health, doesn’t matter. Here’s the question. I said, Jay, who do you know that can help you with your problem? Who do I know that could help me with my problem? I immediately thought of Jeff Blankenship.

 

Jay Conner [00:05:07]:

He lived in Greensboro, North Carolina at the time. He’s still a very, very dear friend. He was investing in real estate back then in Greensboro. So I called up Jeff and I told him what had just happened. He said, well, Jay, welcome to the club. I said, what club is that? He said the club of having the bank shut down your line of credit, shut me down last week. I said, well, Jeff, how are you going to fund your real estate deals? He said, well, have you ever heard of private money? I said, no. He said, have you ever heard about self-directed IRA accounts where people can take their retirement funds and loan out that money to real estate investors, earn high rates of return safely and securely, and earn either tax-free or tax-deferred income?

 

Jay Conner [00:05:50]:

I said, what in the world are you talking about, Jeff? So, I hung up the phone and I studied private money. I studied self-directed IRAs and without ever asking anybody for money, I was able to raise $2,150,000 in less than 90 days of private money, and private lending. I’ve never pitched a deal. And so, Jason, if you’d like to talk more about getting money without ever asking for it, that’s my favorite topic.

 

Jason Balara [00:06:22]:

Yeah. Yeah. No. That’s my next question you say without ever asking for it, which I think is, and even speaking personally, but I think a lot of people it’s it that is the challenge in terms of raising private money is like, how do you best present the opportunities? Right. And so, you know, without, without asking for it. Right. Cause people don’t want to be asked for money. We don’t want to ask people for money.

 

Jason Balara [00:06:50]:

And ultimately that’s not really what’s happening, but yeah, I want to hear your take on this.

 

Jay Conner [00:06:56]:

Sure. So after I had my conversation with Jeff, the first thing I did, the first thing I did is I put together my private lending program that I was going to offer individuals. So we’re not talking about borrowing any kind of institutional money. This is all about getting money from individuals, human beings, just like you and me that either loan money from their investment capital, or loan money from their current retirement accounts that they’ve moved over to a self-directed IRA company. I’ve got 47 private lenders right now. Over half of them are using their retirement funds that I advised them, recommended that they move over to a self-directed IRA company, and then they could invest for a million, and loan it out. So the first thing to do is, you know, I get this question all the time. Jay, how do I start? How do I start attracting private money without ever asking for it? Well, here’s the first thing you gotta do.

 

Jay Conner [00:07:56]:

You have to own the real estate between your ears before you start buying and investing in real estate. And they said, what do you mean by that, Jay? What do you mean by owning the real estate? Well, that’s just it. We got to take on the attitude of a teacher. So I put on my private money teacher hat, private money teacher. So that’s what my whole attitude is teaching people. What is private money? How can they get high rates of return safely and securely? How are they protected? How is this a conservative, low-risk investment to where they can earn 8 or 10%? And so that’s the attitude I took on. So I got that attitude.

 

Jay Conner [00:08:42]:

I’m not going to ask. I’m not going to beg. I’m not going to persuade. I’m not going to sell. I’m not going to try to talk to anybody anything. I’m not going to even pitch a deal. Yes. I am not going to even pitch a deal and I’m going to get all the money I need for my deals.

 

Jay Conner [00:08:58]:

So that’s first, get your attitude right. You know, desperation, Jason, desperation’s got a smell to it. Desperation’s got a smell to it. I mean, the worst time in the world to be raising private money is when you need it for a deal. Right? And by the way, Jason, I’m getting ready to say something. I’m, I’m, I’ll take on a little risk here. So I hope we’re going to be in alignment with what I’m getting ready to say. But I know you’ve heard somebody say this on stage, on the platform and it, I want to go run into a brick wall.

 

Jay Conner [00:09:32]:

They’ll get up there on stage and they’ll say, oh, just get the deal under contract. The money will show up. Yeah. Have you ever heard that? Have you ever heard that? Oh, yeah.

 

Jason Balara [00:09:44]:

That’s that’s

 

Jay Conner [00:09:44]:

That’s a nice thing

 

Jason Balara [00:09:45]:

People like to say.

 

Jay Conner [00:09:47]:

Yeah. Or they’ll say, oh, just get the deal under contract. If it’s a good deal, the money follows the deal. Mhmm. And you know what I say? Yeah. Hogwash. Hogwash. Baloney.

 

Jay Conner [00:10:03]:

Baloney. It’s like, where’s the money going to show up? Is it just going to like rain? Is it just going to rain out of the clouds or something? You know, I mean, the worst time to be raising private money, as I said, is when you need it for a deal. So that’s why I practice and yes, I’m going to preach now. And that’s why I preach, get the money lined up first. Get the money lined up first. I mean, think about how much more confident, how many more offers are you going to make when you’ve got $500,000 or $1,000,000 or whatever, burning a hole in your pocket, ready for you to make offers. And so anyway, I digress. So how do I go about this without asking? Okay.

 

Jay Conner [00:10:43]:

Step 1, I’m going to be a teacher. Step 2, what am I going to teach? Like, what am I going to teach to people? Well, I’m going to teach them what I offer on deals for them to invest in. What interest rate I’m going to offer? It’s going to be the same regardless of the deal. What’s the maximum loan-to-value I’m going to borrow? Which by the way, is 75% of the after-repaired value, not 75% of the purchase price, 75% of the after repaired value. That’s why we always bring home a big check in this world of private money and never take any.

 

Jason Balara [00:11:20]:

Of our own money to

 

Jay Conner [00:11:20]:

The closing table. My favorite phrase on my real estate attorney’s check is on the check stub is excess cash to close. And I love me some excess cash, right? So what’s the maximum loan to value? What’s the length of the note? How am I going to protect them? Am I going to borrow unsecured money or secured money? Always secured. Right? So what layers of protection am I going to give them? What’s the minimum I’m going to allow? Because that’s the first question they’re going to ask is what’s the least amount that I can start with? And by the way, quote-unquote, private lenders always have more money than they tell you. That’s just a fact, right? So I put my program together as to what I’m going to teach. What’s the next step? Well, how am I going to get the word out that I’ve got this program available and have and have my teacher hat on without asking for money? What’s the fastest way to get the word out and start having people chase me? Because I want people chasing me. I don’t want to chase them. I’ve learned the more I chase money, the more it eludes me.

 

Jay Conner [00:12:29]:

So I want to attract it in. Well, let me first answer that question with a short story. I had my program together. I’m going to start teaching. I’m going to start, you know, making this available. So here’s how I started. Now, this was right after I was cut off from the bank. So it was on a Wednesday night at 209 Barber Road, Moorhead City, North Carolina.

 

Jay Conner [00:12:52]:

That’s where the Church of Christ is. That’s where my wife, Carol Joy, and I go. And so Wednesday night, 7:30, we’re going there to church to Bible study. I knew I wanted to talk with Wayne and Wayne and I had known each other for several years. And so I walked into the foyer at 7:25 pm on Wednesday, and Wayne was standing in the foyer. I walked up to Wayne. I said, Wayne, I want to talk with you, confidentially after we finished tonight. Have you got a few minutes? He said, sure.

 

Jay Conner [00:13:22]:

So we get finished. He comes over to me. We walked down to the nursery and shut the door. I’m going to give you the script right now. Exactly what I said to Wayne as we were in there in the nursery with the door shut. I said, Wayne, you know, everybody in this town. And he did. He was the, now, look, I’m getting ready to take a little risk here, Jason, because you may not be old enough to even recall what I’m talking about here.

 

Jay Conner [00:13:50]:

But I looked at Wayne and I said, Wayne, you know, everybody in this town. And he did. He was the original Zenith television dealer in Moorhead City, North Carolina. Now, for those of y’all listening here to Jason’s show, if you don’t know what the Zenith television dealer was, that means you’re too young to remember life before Walmart came to town. The Zenith dealer, that’s where you bought your TVs. That’s, they financed them. They, back then, actually repaired TVs. Can you believe it? Before you just started throwing them out and buying a new one.

 

Jay Conner [00:14:26]:

So anyway, I said, Wayne, you know, everybody in this town. He did. He put a television in everybody’s house. And I said, you know, everybody in this town. And here’s the magic phrase. Here’s the magic phrase. I said, Wayne, I need your help. I said, you see, I’ve now opened up my real estate investing business by referral only to people I know and trust.

 

Jay Conner [00:14:49]:

I am now paying insane high rates of return to my investors who invest with me in my real estate deals. And Wayne, when you run across somebody who’s complaining about the stock market and the volatility of the stock market and losing money and making hardly anything down at the local bank and a certificate of deposit, would you refer them to me and I’ll tell them about my program? Wayne says, well, now, Jay, what you got going on there? And I said, well, what do you mean Wayne? He says, well, what kind of rates of return are you paying? And I said, well, that sort of depends on the deal. I said, are you saying you might be interested? He says, yeah. I might be interested. I said, why? He says, well, I’m losing money in the stock market, and I’m sick of the volatility. And, you know, I don’t like the little bit of money I’m getting down at the, you know, at the bank and a CD. He says, well, what are you paying, Jay? And I said, well, what sounds high to you, Wayne? He says, well, I don’t know. I’m getting 3% in the local bank.

 

Jay Conner [00:15:53]:

I don’t know, maybe 5% or 6%. I said, Wayne, I can’t pay you 5% or 6%, but I can pay you 8%. He said, put me down for $250,000 And so that next day I went to Wayne’s home, and sat down with him and his wife. And, I brought my whole program there, you know, the maximum loan to value interest rate, how you can get your money back in case of an emergency, in case you got something come up. How am I going to protect you? All that kind of good stuff. Well, after 2 cups of coffee and a conversation that $250,000 became $500,000 that next afternoon. And so I didn’t bring up anything about any deals, right? I’m just talking about my program and they’ve just got liquid cash that they want to start with at 500,000. So let’s analyze and unpack that little story right there.

 

Jay Conner [00:16:47]:

First of all, you notice I didn’t ask Wayne for any money. I asked him for his help to spread the word that I’ve now got this opportunity. And by the way, not only was Wayne and his wife interested and, you know, became one of my first private lenders, but boy, did they ever spread the word. I mean, I lost count of how many private lenders we got just based on Wayne and his wife, you know, spreading the word and sharing, you know, their experience. And so that’s how I started, was get my head straight. I’m going to teach. And what am I going to teach? What am I going to offer? And then ask people for help. Now that’s one at a time asking people for help.

 

Jay Conner [00:17:34]:

But now let me tell you in a short story, how I raised $969,000 in 60 minutes in that first 30 days. So what did I do? I hosted a private lender luncheon. So I invited 20 people, influencers in, I mean, the influencers that I already knew here in town, I invited them to lunch invited them to the Dunes Club, oceanfront at the beach, invited them on a Thursday. Thursday lunch, I fed them lunch, and about 20 minutes into it, I pulled out my little handy dandy, trusty, dusty PowerPoint presentation, put on my teacher hat, and went to teach these 20 influencers. And by the way, you don’t have to know any influencers. It’d just be 20 people that you know. Right? Because everybody knows somebody else. And I just started teaching them the private lending program, the same that I had just talked to Wayne 2 weeks before.

 

Jay Conner [00:18:34]:

And again, no deals, just talking the program, got $969,000 in verbal pledges of, hey, we’re interested, You know, we want to go. And so that was a private lender luncheon. Now, let me share with you the secret sauce on how you get your deals funded after they’ve pledged the money without having to ask them for money. Well, here’s the answer. I’m going to give you the script right now. This is called the great news phone call. The great news phone call. So Jason, let’s say you’re one of my new private lenders. I’ve talked to you in my program.

 

Jay Conner [00:19:10]:

Do you like it? And you said, yeah. And you said, Jay, I got $150,000 I’d like to invest with you. You know, let me know when you get a deal. And I said, Jason, I’m going to put your money to work for you just as soon as possible. So you’ve told me you got 150,000. You’re waiting to hear from me. Well, I call you up maybe a week later. Here’s the script.

 

Jay Conner [00:19:33]:

Jason, I’ve got great news for you. I can now put your money to work. I’ve got a house under contract in Newport with an after-repaired value of $200,000 The funding required is what you have available, $150,000 Closing is going to be next Friday. So I need for you to wire your funds to my real estate attorney’s trust account by next Thursday. And I’m going to have my real estate attorney email you the wiring instructions. End of conversation. The most stupid thing I could ask you, Jason, is do you want to fund the deal? Well, of course, you want to fund the deal. You’ve been waiting for the phone call for me to put your money to work.

 

Jay Conner [00:20:16]:

And particularly if that $150,000 was retirement funds and you’ve moved that 150,000 from, you know, Schwab or Morgan Stanley or a 401 ks that you had, and you’ve moved it over to a self-directed IRA company that I recommended, you’re not making any money until I put your money to work. So I’m ethically bound to put your money to work. No pitching, no selling. Good news phone call. Why are you money by next Friday? And of course, I’m not bringing money to one of my private lenders to, I mean, I’m not bringing a deal to one of my private lenders to fund unless it meets the criteria of the program that I already taught them.

 

Jason Balara [00:21:03]:

Yeah. There’s so much about this that is like just a shift in mindset. Right? So  I think it, at some point, are you, you know, you might win, especially early on, if someone’s trying to raise private capital, they might not necessarily believe it themselves, but that like, that’s the first step is kind of believing it yourself that you are truly offering an opportunity. And it’s, it’s fascinating to to kind of see people that are good at this. Like you’re you’re the conversations you’re giving out the scripts. Like clearly it’s something that is, you know, comfortable to you. And I think, did you feel that way right off the bat when I mean, I know you said you encountered a problem?

 

Jason Balara [00:22:01]:

The bank wasn’t gonna fund you anymore. How did you kinda get to these scripts and how did you, you know, kind of believe that what you were saying was, really the truth or that it’s the truth, but that’s not the right word. Just how did you feel yourself about sort of these scripts? Did you work at them on them over time? How did you come to that?

 

Jay Conner [00:22:27]:

Well, that’s a good question. So anytime you, excuse me, anytime you do anything new that you’ve never done before, it’s very uncomfortable. No matter how much you believe in it, no matter how much you know it to be, it’s worked for other people. But if you’ve never done it, then it’s uncomfortable. And, Crystal Baker, who is, on my leadership team, where, I run a Mastermind group of real estate, high-end real estate investors from all across the nation that want to learn how to raise capital, the way I do it. Well, Crystal Baker’s on my leadership team. She started working with me, oh shoot. I don’t know.

 

Jay Conner [00:23:08]:

6 or 7 years ago, she raised $5,000,000 in private money. Well, at the end of her signature email, at the end of every one of her emails, she has a quote And the quote says, life begins at the end of your comfort zone. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. You see, there’s a writer’s downer for you that I just came up with last week at my live event that I put on. Success is a lousy teacher. Success is a lousy teacher. All the growth takes place in the valley where you have problems that you have to fix. Right? In fact, along those lines, I want to share, I want to share a formula that I learned from Jack Canfield, co-author of Chicken Soup For The Soul series.

 

Jay Conner [00:24:01]:

And, Jack Canfield, he’s got a wonderful book. It’s called The Success Principles. The Success Principles. There are 69 success principles in that book. I highly recommend the book. His very first foundational principle, which all the other principles are built upon is principle number 1, be 100% responsible for everything that happens in your life. And until you are 100% responsible for everything that happens in your life, you’re not going to grow, right? You’re going to be a victim. You don’t have a victim mentality instead of a victor mentality.

 

Jay Conner [00:24:40]:

The formula I learned is E plus R equals O. E plus R equals O. That stands for the event, plus your response to that event determines your outcome and what you experience. Most people, unfortunately, are going through life wherever the tide takes them, and they live with a different formula. The formula that most people live by is E equals outcome. Whatever the event is that happened to me is now what I’m having to experience. But you see, regardless of whatever happened in your life, like I got cut off from the banks, for example, I got cut off from the banks. Well, here’s the beautiful thing.

 

Jay Conner [00:25:21]:

I’m 100% responsible for responding to what happened in any way I want to. Right? Yeah. So when the bank cut me off, I could have put my tail between my legs and gone home and, you know, ate Cheetos all day long on the sofa. Right. Or I could choose a different response. So what response did I do? I asked myself, who do I know that can help me? I called up that person. I’m asking for help. And that led me down this road to private money, which by the way, Jason, you and I wouldn’t even be having this conversation today if it hadn’t been, you know, for that experience.

 

Jay Conner [00:25:56]:

So when I first visited with Wayne after Bible study on Wednesday night, I was very uncomfortable, even though I was asking for his help and I wasn’t asking for money specifically. I was just asking for his help. I had never said to anybody else, I’ve now opened up my Real Estate Investing Business by Referral Only to People I Know and Trust. When you run across somebody not happy, would you refer them to me and I’ll show them my program? I never said that to anybody. I promise you it did not come out of my mouth as smoothly as it does right now.

 

Jay Conner [00:26:37]:

Right. You know, I mean, you know, I was nervous inside. I had never asked for somebody to, you know, I never, I did, I’d never done a private lending loan for goodness sake. Right. And so I started taking action, which I know you’re tired of hearing people say that, but quite frankly, action is the only cure to worry. Action is the only cure for worry. And, so, yes, I was very uncomfortable. I mean, when I put on that first private lender luncheon and I raised $969,000 I was confident that I had my PowerPoint put together.

 

Jay Conner [00:27:26]:

I knew what I was going to teach, but I had never done a private lender luncheon before. I was uncomfortable. So take action and do what you know you need to do despite your, I mean, how do you get comfortable doing anything? You get comfortable doing anything by doing it. And, and I tell you that, you know, I said success is a lousy teacher. Failure is a really good teacher. Failure is a really good teacher. I was so blessed a month ago. Carol joined my wife and I.

 

Jay Conner [00:28:01]:

We got to meet, we got to chat with, and we got to hear his keynote at one of the masterminds we’re a member of, John Maxwell. John Maxwell, what a brilliant mind. One of the best speakers I’ve ever seen or heard in my life. And then when it got the open Q and A in the audience, one of the attendees said, Mr. Maxwell, what do you attribute? What’s the number one thing you attribute to your just unbelievable success? He says, well, that’s an easy question. He says the secret to my success is I just fail more than anybody else. And he went on to explain what that means. I mean, in words, if you’re not, if you’re not being successful, you’re not failing enough.

 

Jay Conner [00:28:47]:

Right? How do you get good at anything? You screw it up good out of the gate. Screw it up and then you’ll fix it. Right? And so, and then, the example that mister Maxwell gave was, he says, he says, you know, you got somebody over here that might try 10 different things and they fail 7 times, 70% of the time. But they went on 3, went 30% of the time. He says, me and my company and my staff, we don’t try 10 different things. We try 100 different things. And, yeah, maybe we fail 70 times, but we win 30 times. Right.

 

Jason Balara [00:29:27]:

Yeah. I mean, that’s an I just love that concept of there are a lot of cliches out there. And we talked about you you mentioned the find the deal and the money will come. That it’s ridiculous, but it is something that gets that gets said. But I think, like, that that sort of taking action, I don’t know if you’ve read it, but Extreme Accountability by Jocko Willock, like all of that, like taking control of your own life is such a powerful concept. And you can look at things like, you know, you mentioned failing 70%. I’ve seen this before, and it struck me, but it’s like, you know, a baby when a baby’s learning to walk, they don’t just give up because they fell 20 times. Like, they eventually just walk.

 

Jason Balara [00:30:17]:

Right? They get they get there. They just keep trying until they figure it out. And, like, I mean, we just you know, the World Series just ended last night. Like like, the best baseball players in the world hit the ball about a third of the time. Like, the best in the world. The guys that make 400, $500,000,000 contracts hit the ball a third of the time, and it’s just we people are afraid to fail one time, and so they don’t take that action. But it’s like if you look at some of the examples that are all around us and and and recognize, like, again, like, every one of us was the baby falling at some point. Right? And it’s like, you just if, if hitting the ball a third of the time gets you, you know, to the top of the baseball world.

 

Jason Balara [00:31:14]:

What about business? Like how, you know, like there are so many different ways, so many opportunities that, you know, falling or failing, whatever word you want to, you know, can, can create for you. So I just think that concept is such a powerful thing. And I think, you know, you, you, you talk through these scripts now very eloquently, and it’s easy to, it’s easy to believe what you’re saying and and and understand that. Yeah. You just don’t ask you’re not asking anyone for any money, but I do Right? I that that certainly the point that, you know, it wasn’t comfortable for you in the beginning, but you you did it anyway. Like, that’s

 

Jay Conner [00:31:55]:

That’s right.

 

Jason Balara [00:31:56]:

That’s really what it comes down to in most of

 

Jay Conner [00:31:58]:

Life. Exactly. I think in John Maxwell’s talk, and I wish I wish I could, I wish I could remember who it was, but anyway, one of the famous basketball celebrities, you’re talking about the baseball celebrities, but I don’t know if it was, LeBron James, I can’t think. Who is it that who is it that, who is it that endorses Nike all the time?

 

Jason Balara [00:32:32]:

Michael Jordan.

 

Jay Conner [00:32:33]:

Michael Jordan. Jordan. Yeah. Michael Jordan. I mean There’s a ton.

 

Jason Balara [00:32:36]:

Of great Michael Jordan quotes about this about this specific topic.

 

Jay Conner [00:32:41]:

Yeah. I was gonna see if I could find it real quick because this is worth saying. Shots. Here we go. Yeah. Yeah. But he quoted Michael Jordan saying, you know, oh yeah. Here, here’s his quote.

 

Jay Conner [00:32:55]:

Here’s, here’s his quote. Michael Jordan says I have missed more than 9,000 shots, basketball shots in my career. I’ve almost, I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that’s why I succeed.

 

Jay Conner [00:33:28]:

It’s Same same as these John Maxwell said.

 

Jason Balara [00:33:31]:

I mean, I’m a big sports fan and I think there’s a lot of parallels between, you know, kind of like the great athletes versus, you know, the, the business, you know, being successful in, in business and entrepreneurship and things like that. It’s just, those mindsets. It’s, it’s, you can take a lot from that world and try to apply it to, you know, kind of kind of what you’re doing. It’s, again.

 

Jay Conner [00:34:00]:

And when you said that, Jason, that reminds me, I mean, what common attribute does a sports celebrity have? What character attribute does a sports celebrity have to a, whatever your definition of somebody successful in business? And I’ll tell you the first attribute that comes to my mind is resiliency. We just don’t give up. We just don’t give up. We, I mean, is, you know, are problems going to come along? Of course. If there weren’t problems, they wouldn’t need us anyway. We’re the problem. I mean, we are solution providers, you know, so resiliency. I mean, yes, you’re going to fail.

 

Jay Conner [00:34:45]:

Yes, you’re going to screw up. Yes, you’re going to fall. Well, I’ll never forget. My granddaddy was a farmer here in Eastern North Carolina. And, and so anyway, when I was about 3 years old, he got me a pony. My mother would never let him live that down because he wouldn’t get her a pony. But anyway, and he wouldn’t put air conditioning upstairs. So, you know, here Jay gets born, boom, there’s air conditioning upstairs.

 

Jay Conner [00:35:12]:

But anyway, so he got me a pony and I’ll never forget when that pony would throw me off. Of course, I wasn’t riding a pony by myself at 3 years old. But when I was riding ponies by myself at 7 years old, and 8 years old, when that pony would buck and throw me off, my granddaddy never let me not get back on. He said, Jay, if you don’t get back on that pony right now, that pony will never let you ride it again. So I learned it. I learned it at a young age. Get back on the pony. There’s a rider downer.

 

Jason Balara [00:35:49]:

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. It’s it’s I mean, it’s everywhere, and you can it’s everywhere around us, and you can choose to take those examples in and use them as fuel. Or I guess you can ignore them and not, you know, kinda not get anywhere with it. But I just think, it is the examples, the resources of people that have Overcome, you know, failing over and over and over again, to be, to be extremely successful. It is, it’s just, it’s just everywhere. So, it’s, I think it’s just an important concept.

 

Jason Balara [00:36:29]:

But, well, Jay, let me, let me shift gears a little bit here. I wanna make sure I get to ask you the questions that I ask every guest. And the first one is, based on the name of the show know your why, what what is your why? What’s, what’s your driver? You know, what kinda keeps you motivated? You’ve obviously had a lot of success. What kinda keeps that, going forward?

 

Jay Conner [00:36:54]:

In answer to that question, maybe there’s a couple of years ago, I was riding down the road with a good friend of mine. His name’s Neil. We go to church together. And just out of the blue, Neil said, Jay, when is enough enough? And I said, well, Neil, I’m not sure I know what you’re asking. He says, well, here’s what I mean. He says you’re traveling the nation. You speak at all these conferences, you know, for real estate investors. You put on these live events, you know, you’re doing 30 deals a year.

 

Jay Conner [00:37:34]:

You’re averaging 82,000. He says, you know, and I know you don’t have to keep doing that. Why why are you doing that? He says, and along with that, Jay, he says, how do you reconcile, the truth of where the apostle Paul says in the Bible, to be content with whatever state of life you’re in. And I’m paraphrasing. I said, well, now I understand your question, Neil. So let me tell you the answer to when is enough, enough? And here’s the answer, at least from my perspective. Enough is never enough when it’s not about you. Enough is never enough when it’s not about you.

 

Jay Conner [00:38:14]:

So, what is my why? What, what is my driver? My drive is to make an impact, make a difference, and give back. Zig Ziglar, whom I’m sure you were a fan of, Zig Ziglar, said that you get to a point in your life where it’s not about the money, that it’s about significance, making, making a difference. And so with that in mind, I’m making it myself, and I, my team, and my wife, we make an impact with single-family houses. You know, there’s a lot of people that, that we make a difference with, and that is, you know, the buyers, the sellers, the, the contractors, the rehab crew, all that. But I can make so much more of an impact. Say, for example, when I podcast, just like you are right now, Jason, I mean, you’ve got 100 and thousands of people listening to your show that you can make an impact. I’m in the 8th year of my podcast, which surprisingly enough is called Raising Private Money with Jay Conner. So I make an impact on the podcast.

 

Jay Conner [00:39:26]:

, the Mastermind group that I run, I’m making an impact with so many more people. Last week, I had a live event with almost 100 people in the room in, at the hotel ballroom. And, they were from all over the nation, California, Texas, South Carolina, you know, all over the place. So my driver is making an impact. I mean, we need a reason, we need a purpose to get out of bed. And you know, when I see, I think about, Eric and Erica, they live in Mississippi. He was working for the railroad, driving 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the evening, working for the railroad there in Mississippi, making 6 figures a year, but he had no time to spend with his wife and their 4 kids. And he comes into my world and we start working together in real estate investing and raising private money.

 

Jay Conner [00:40:26]:

And in 9 months he retires from that 6-figure job, JOB, and now he and his wife, Erica, are creating the lifestyle and the time with their family that they want. I think of Crystal Baker that I mentioned earlier. She was working almost 80 hours a week as an occupational therapist, making really good 6 figures a year, more than 1 or 200,000 a year, but she had promised herself she’d never drive her kids through a fast food drive-through to get them food. And then one night, guess what she did? She’s driving through the fast food drive-through. She promised herself she was going to look for a better and quicker way, to get her lifestyle together. So Crystal started working with me and my team, And in less than a year, she retired from that occupational therapist. She was over like 7 or 8 clinics making all kinds of money. But there’s, there’s, there’s the deal.

 

Jay Conner [00:41:27]:

Making all kinds of money does not give you happiness. I don’t care if you know where to shop or if you don’t know where to shop. Making all the money does not give you happiness. It’s what are you doing with the time that you have? That’s a long answer to a short question. That’s my why. Making an impact and watching the people that I work with see their, true happiness transformed for themselves and their families.

 

Jason Balara [00:41:56]:

I agree. And I think I think I think that the question, you know when is enough is you’re not thinking outside yourself.

 

Jay Conner [00:42:09]:

Exactly. If that is yours I guess enough is enough when you’re ready to die.

 

Jason Balara [00:42:14]:

Yeah. I mean, enough is enough. Like, it, like, it means if you think you’re thinking that you know, thinking of it as this is only for me. Right? This is what I’m done I’m I need all of this money just for me. What it is like, is the impact you can have on people around you even if you give all the money away. Right? Like, what then when then when is enough is enough. Right? You could How many people can you help if you’ve decided to just give it all away? It’s just I think it’s just if we think outside ourselves and it’s, for me, one of my favorite parts about doing this podcast and even going to, you know, real estate conferences and stuff like that is seeing the people that have reached, you know, what would consider a financial success. They don’t talk about that.

 

Jason Balara [00:43:06]:

They are only talking about this as my charitable foundation. These are what I’m doing for my employees. This is what we’ve done to help rebuild houses in, you know, 3rd world countries. It’s just like they don’t even have enough because there are still more people that need help, and it’s like there’s no point in stopping that. So, I think it’s a it’s a it’s a it’s a, I guess, a small question. If you think bigger, there isn’t there isn’t enough yet. When people hear this, Jay, and they wanna reach out to you, what’s the best way to get in touch?

 

Jay Conner [00:43:44]:

You know, I’m so glad you asked, Jason because I just finished producing and recording my brand new Private Money Challenge. What in the world is the Private Money Challenge? It’s a series of 7 videos where we dive deep into what’s private money all about. How do you raise it? How do you find it? How do you talk to people? What’s your program? What it should look like? And so there’s 7 videos. Each one’s only 15 to 20 minutes long. And when you enroll in privatemoneychallenge.com, you’ll receive in your email, your inbox, the first video training by me right there on the video, and the next 6 days in a row at 9 am Eastern time, you’ll receive each subsequent video. So you can enroll at www.PrivateMoneyChallenge.com. By the way, I’m Jay Conner with an ER, not an OR.

 

Jay Conner [00:44:38]:

Jay Conner. And come check out my podcast. I’m in my 8th year of my podcast. Believe it or not, the name of my podcast is Raising Private Money with Jay Conner. It’s on all of your favorite platforms. Come over and check me out.

 

Jason Balara [00:44:57]:

Awesome. And we’ll we’ll put that stuff in the show notes so people can find you easily. But, I appreciate you coming on the show, Jay. I appreciate, the time that you took and everything that you shared with us. I think a lot of really important, I think, you know, mindset shifts that people can make in whether it’s concerning raising private money or even just kind of success in general. So so thank you so much for for coming and sharing today.

 

Jay Conner [00:45:25]:

Jason, thank you so much for having me. God bless.

 

Jason Balara [00:45:28]:

Yeah. And, folks listening, please connect with Jay, and make sure you like, rate, and review the show so we can continue to get great guests. And thank you all for listening.

 

Jason Balara [00:45:39]:

Hey there. I am Doctor Jason Balara, and this is the Know Your Why podcast where we explore the why behind success. Every week, I meet with real estate investors, veterinary entrepreneurs, mindset coaches, authors, and fitness professionals to uncover their why and how it drives them on the winding road to success. What is your why?

 

Narrator [00:46:09]:

Are you feeling inspired by the knowledge you gained in this episode? Then head over to www.JayConner.com/MoneyGuide.  That’s www.JayConner.com/MoneyGuide  and download your free guide that shares seven reasons why private money will skyrocket your real estate investing business right now. Again, that’s www.JayConner.com/MoneyGuide to get your free guide. We’ll see you next time on raising private money with Jay Conner.