Episode 235: Moving Beyond Traditional Lending: Jay Conner’s Private Money Approach in Real Estate


***Guest Appearance

Credits to:

https://www.youtube.com/@bradleysugars 

“Following Your Purpose: How Jay Conner Discovered the Opportunity of Private Lenders in Real Estate”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJPJqgxDZME  

Welcome back to another exciting episode of the Raising Private Money podcast! Today, Jay Conner had an insightful conversation with Brad Sugars on his The Big Success podcast!

From a young age, Jay Conner knew his true calling was to teach. Fast forward to 2011, and this dream came to fruition when he began coaching real estate investors, a mission driven not just by financial outcomes, but by a burning desire to positively impact others. Jay’s definition of success transcends wealth; it’s deeply rooted in passion and purpose. By emphasizing the importance of making a difference, Jay aims to inspire others to seek a higher purpose beyond financial gains. This ethos has shaped his approach to teaching and mentoring, making a significant impression on the real estate community.

Success Defined: Passion and Purpose Beyond Profits

Jay Conner’s definition of success moves beyond the simplistic idea of wealth accumulation. To him, success encompasses pursuing one’s passions and making a meaningful impact on the lives of others. This philosophy is reflected in his work, where he combines his real estate expertise with a deep commitment to mentoring and teaching. For Jay, true success involves helping others realize their potential and find their paths to fulfillment. This is the hallmark of his career as an educator and real estate coach.

Influential Beginnings: Lessons from the Family Business

Growing up in an environment of success, particularly observing his father’s business endeavors, had a profound impact on Jay. At the age of 12, he was already immersed in a setting that emphasized the importance of surrounding oneself with successful individuals—a notion famously underscored by motivational speaker Jim Rohn. These early experiences laid a strong foundation for Jay’s entrepreneurial journey, where he saw firsthand the value of mentorship and networking in achieving success.

Transformation and Lifelong Learning

A pivotal moment in Jay’s life came at the age of 24 when dissatisfaction with his lifestyle spurred a transformation. Fueled by Og Mandino’s “University of Success,” Jay embarked on a path of continuous learning and self-improvement. This book not only helped him shift his mindset but also ignited a lifelong passion for personal development. Since then, he has avidly consumed self-help books and autobiographies, continually learning from those who have achieved success. This commitment to growth and learning has been a cornerstone of his personal and professional life.

The Power of Goals and Planning

One of the critical insights Jay shares is the importance of setting and regularly reviewing goals. By updating them every four months, he ensures they are aligned with current opportunities and challenges. Jay’s approach to short-term planning reflects his understanding of the unpredictable nature of life and business. This pragmatism is also shared by fellow podcaster, Ryan Pineda, who avoids scheduling appointments more than 30 days in advance. Both emphasize the necessity of flexibility and adaptability in achieving long-term success.

Embracing Failure as a Learning Opportunity

Jay Conner’s perspective on failure is deeply influenced by David Meltzer’s philosophy of viewing failures as lessons rather than mistakes. He recounts stories from his real estate career where setbacks became opportunities for growth and improvement. By treating challenges as opportunities to rethink and refine his approaches, Jay has developed a resilient mindset crucial for sustained success. He also employs the “observer” technique to gain perspective, allowing him to navigate challenges with clarity and objectivity.

Private Money and Real Estate Investing

A significant aspect of Jay’s expertise lies in raising and leveraging private money for real estate investments. Transitioning from traditional bank loans to private money in 2009, Jay began educating potential lenders on how to earn high returns securely, often using self-directed IRAs. He stresses the importance of separating the need for funds from the teaching process, to avoid appearing desperate. By leading with a servant’s heart and focusing on education, Jay has built a robust network of private lenders who complement his investment strategies.

Prioritizing What Truly Matters

For Jay Conner, the most significant aspect of success is prioritizing family, friends, and faith over business achievements. This personal philosophy underscores all his professional endeavors, ensuring that his work in real estate and education remains aligned with his core values. By focusing on these priorities, Jay exemplifies a holistic approach to success that balances personal fulfillment with professional accomplishments.

Conclusion: Learning from Jay Conner

Jay Conner’s journey provides invaluable lessons on success, resilience, and the importance of lifelong learning. His transition to leveraging private money in real estate and his dedication to teaching reflects a deep commitment to making a positive impact. By sharing his wisdom and experiences, Jay encourages others to pursue success with passion, purpose, and a balanced approach to life. For those seeking to learn more from Jay, his resources and challenges are available online, offering a gateway to the secrets of successful real estate investing and personal transformation.

10 Discussion Questions from this Episode:

  1. Influence of Early Environment:
    • How did Jay Conner’s early exposure to his father’s successful business endeavors shape his approach to business and success in later life?
  2. Personal Transformation and Self-Improvement:
    • How did Og Mandino’s book “University of Success” play a pivotal role in Jay Conner’s transformation, and what specific changes did he implement as a result?
  3. Defining and Achieving Success:
    • Jay Conner defines success as having a higher purpose and making a positive impact beyond financial gain. How can this philosophy be applied to different career paths?
  4. Goal Setting and Planning:
    • Jay Conner prefers setting and reviewing goals every four months instead of long-term planning. What are the benefits and challenges of this approach compared to traditional goal-setting methods?
  5. Learning from Failures:
    • How does Jay Conner’s perspective on viewing failures as lessons, inspired by David Meltzer’s philosophy, impact his approach to real estate investing?
  6. The Observer Technique:
    • What is the “observer” technique that Jay Conner uses, and how can it help individuals gain perspective on their challenges?
  7. E + R = O Formula:
    • Jay discusses Jack Canfield’s formula “E + R = O” (Event + Response = Outcome). How does this formula influence decision-making and outcomes in both personal and professional contexts?
  8. Private Money Lending:
    • What are the primary advantages and potential risks of shifting from traditional bank borrowing to private money lending, as advocated by Jay Conner?
  9. Teaching and Sharing Knowledge:
    • Jay Conner enjoys teaching about self-directed IRAs and tax-free earnings strategies. How important is the role of education in empowering investors, and what methods can be most effective in this teaching?
  10. Success and Family Priorities:
    • Jay Conner emphasizes prioritizing family, friends, and faith over business achievements. How can individuals balance these priorities while pursuing professional and financial success?

Fun facts that were revealed in the episode: 

  1. Jay’s Early Start in Success: Jay Conner began working in a successful environment at the age of 12, influenced by his father’s business endeavors and the idea from Jim Rohn to surround oneself with successful individuals.
  2. Og Mandino’s Impact: Jay experienced a major life transformation at 24 after reading Og Mandino’s “University of Success,” which shifted his mindset and helped him overcome dissatisfaction with his lifestyle involving alcohol and drugs.
  3. Unique Scheduling Philosophy: Inspired by fellow podcaster Ryan Pineda, Jay Conner practices a unique scheduling approach by not planning appointments more than 30 days in advance, emphasizing flexibility and the unpredictability of future opportunities.

Timestamps:

00:01 Success is knowing and fulfilling your higher purpose.

03:10 Realized true calling: coaching real estate investors.

06:41 Dark space caused by alcohol, drugs, and aimlessness.

12:31 Choose a new path for better opportunities.

15:17 Take responsibility for your life’s outcomes.

16:55 Response determines the outcome, not the event itself.

22:10 Private money differs vastly from traditional borrowing.

23:36 Teaching private money: Self-directed IRAs explained.

30:12 Borrowed money, taught lending, still paying 8%.

32:20 Success is prioritizing time with loved ones.

 

Connect With Jay Conner: 

Private Money Academy Conference: 

https://www.JaysLiveEvent.com

Free Report:

https://www.jayconner.com/MoneyReport

Join the Private Money Academy: 

https://www.JayConner.com/trial/

Have you read Jay’s new book: Where to Get The Money Now?

It is available FREE (all you pay is the shipping and handling) at https://www.JayConner.com/Book 

What is Private Money? Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner

http://www.JayConner.com/MoneyPodcast 

Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. Without using his own money or credit, Jay maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $67,000 per deal.

#RealEstate #RealEstateInvesting #RealEstateInvestingForBeginners #Foreclosures #FlippingHouses #PrivateMoney #RaisingPrivateMoney #JayConner

YouTube Channel

https://www.youtube.com/c/RealEstateInvestingWithJayConner 

Apple Podcast:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/private-money-academy-real-estate-investing-with-jay/id1377723034 

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/jay.conner.marketing  

Twitter:

https://twitter.com/JayConner01

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.com/JConner_PrivateMoneyAuthority

 

Moving Beyond Traditional Lending: Jay Conner’s Private Money Approach in Real Estate

 

 

 

Narrator [00:00:01]:

If you’re a real estate investor and are wondering how to raise and leverage private money to make more profit on every deal, then you’re in the right place. On raising private money, we’ll speak with new and seasoned investors to dissect their deals and extract the best tips and strategies to help you get the money because the money comes first. Now here’s your host, Jay Conner.

 

Jay Conner [00:00:28]:

I’ve always had a calling to share with other people how I do what I do, being a teacher. When I started coaching other real estate investors, that’s when I realized that this is my calling.

 

Brad Sugars [00:00:40]:

When you’re going after success, especially financial success, maybe you’re going the wrong way. Jay Conner is gonna take us through today about following your purpose and how that works to make success happen. At 12 years old,

 

Jay Conner [00:00:53]:

I was so blessed to be surrounded by very successful people, which brings home the point that you’re pretty much defined by the 5 people that you spend most of your time with. Jim Rohn gets the credit for that. David Meltzer, for those of you listening, has an interesting take on failure. He says I don’t believe in failure anymore. He says, I believe in lessons.

 

Brad Sugars [00:01:15]:

Building a real estate empire with private capital, that’s what we’re gonna learn about. That’s what Jay Conner teaches. So, Jay, your definition of success, what’s what how do you define it?

 

Jay Conner [00:01:26]:

My def well, I can tell you what my definition of success is not. My definition of success is not getting involved in an opportunity or venture. And the only reason or main reason you’re doing it is for the money. And I’ll tell you why. I’ve been down that road. I’ve been down that road. Been around long enough to know that if I’m just getting involved in an opportunity, for the money, I never get off square number 1. So what is my definition of success? Here it is.

 

Jay Conner [00:01:58]:

My definition of success is being passionate and excited about what you’re doing every day, and you’re getting paid pretty well for it. And what goes along with that is being able to ask yourself, what am I doing that’s making a difference and having an impact on other people’s lives? Because making all that money, setting your schedule, the wealth of freedom, yeah, that’s great. But at the end of the day, what is your higher calling? What’s your higher purpose? So success is defined by knowing what your higher purpose and calling is because, after all, money is a rule stick and not the end of the runway.

 

Brad Sugars [00:02:44]:

Yeah. You know, most of our listeners are sort of trying to define a path to success, and there are so many different parts. Where do you think, Jay, that definition started to become real for you? Because, as a young man, it was probably different from what it is today.

 

Jay Conner [00:03:00]:

Are you saying I’m not a young man anymore?

 

Brad Sugars [00:03:03]:

I might be intimating that you and I got a couple of different colored hairs than we had when we were a few years back.

 

Jay Conner [00:03:10]:

I’ve I started I didn’t start. I mean, it was it was it was abundantly clear as to when I was really in the mode of success and enjoying success. And that’s I mean, I’ve been in I’ve been investing in real estate full time since 2003. And that was primarily transactional from 2003 until 2011. And I’ve always had a calling to share with other people how I do what I do, being a teacher. And so when I started coaching other Real Estate Investors in March of 2011, that’s when I realized that this is my calling. This is what I need to be doing because I discovered I was able to make such a huge impact on so many more people all across North America, to tell you the truth. So it’s when I began teaching and coaching that I really, knew that this was what I needed to be doing.

 

Jay Conner [00:04:13]:

Yeah. Where do you think, buddy, you chose success in your life? Is this a young boy, a young man? Like, where did success become your, standard of operation? I guess in that same period. Now I’ve always had a big drive. I was I was raised by my father, Wallace Conner. He’s gonna be 91 in a couple of months, and he’s in the midst of a 350-house subdivision development that he’s building. When I grow up, I wanna be like him at 91 years old.

 

Brad Sugars [00:04:43]:

I think we all want

 

Jay Conner [00:04:44]:

To be Wallace at some stage. Yes. But he at one time had one of the largest, not one of he had the largest, retailing operations of manufactured homes, and mobile homes in the nation. And so, huge drive. It’s like so my dad put me to work in the summer when I was 12 years old, calling people on the telephone. We still have telephones here in North Carolina with a cord attack on them. But it’s some people don’t even know what that is. But, anyway, I was calling people verifying, income verifications, and getting landlord references at 12 years old before my voice even changed.

 

Jay Conner [00:05:25]:

I used to hate it when they said, yes, ma’am. I get that information for you. But I start at 12 years old. I was so blessed to be surrounded by very successful people, which brings home the point, which all of us have heard here, probably on the show, that you’re pretty much defined by the 5 people that you spend most of your time with. Jim Rohn gets the credit for that. So I have I just sort of grew up feeling successful. I mean, I went to Wake Forest University, way back, and my goal was to become the drum major of the marching band at Wake Forest University. And I did sophomore, junior, and senior years.

 

Jay Conner [00:06:07]:

And so pretty much because of the people that I was surrounded with when I was growing up, Which, again, there’s the lesson, be very, very cognizant as to who you’re spending your time. And I tell you, I had a mind shift. I’m glad you asked this question. I had a change of mind when I was 24 years old. This changed this changed my trajectory. I was I went into the restaurant business right out of college. Not my business. I was working for a corporation, a chain of restaurants.

 

Jay Conner [00:06:41]:

And I ended up living and being in a very, very dark space. Dark space. Well, what was making it dark? Well, I’ll tell you what was making it dark. Alcohol, drugs, no real purpose, the kind of friends that I was hanging around. And, you know, I woke up one day when I was 24 years old and I said, you know, Jay, there’s got to be a lot easier and better way than you’re going about this thing called life. So, for the first time, Brad, I found myself in the bookstore, in the self-improvement section, and I was looking at books. And I came across this book that changed my life. The name of the book was, and it’s still in print today, the name of the book is University of Success by Og Mandino.

 

Jay Conner [00:07:32]:

In that book, University of Success by Og Mandino, he had many, many, many contributing authors. He called it the University of Success because it was divided into chapters where ters if you will, and lessons. And I devoured that book. I still have that book on my bookshelf at the end of my sofa right now. I mean, the ears are torn. It’s highlighted. I mean, it’s underlined. And the book made so much sense to me.

 

Jay Conner [00:08:03]:

I started embracing that book and it was released back in, I want to say 1982, 1983 along in there. And so you had all these authors, these success authors, the positive mindset authors that were contributing to it. And it just put me on a different path. And from the time I was 24 years old, I have been a, I’ve been a book junkie on autobiographies, self-improvement books, etcetera. And so what I started reading had the biggest impact. Yeah.

 

Brad Sugars [00:08:36]:

Yeah. You don’t have to hang out with the 5 people. You can read from the 5 people. You can listen to the 5 people. You can go on Jay’s podcast, my podcast. You can go anywhere and be with 5 people more often than you can be with the people you live with if you do it the right way. Buddy, how does success happen? What’s your formula now after doing this for this long? What’s the Jay Conner version of how success happens?

 

Jay Conner [00:09:04]:

Know why you’re getting up in the morning. I mean, don’t don’t I mean, be very intentional. I mean, it’s it’s the goal setting. I still set goals. I still write them down. I still review my goals. And so that definition of success is being able to measure well, first of all, do you even know where you’re trying to get to? Do you do you even know where you’re trying to go? Do you know what you’re trying to get better at? So that’s what I do today, I review and retool my goals every 4 months, Every 4 months. I know it’s important to be thinking down the road for 12 months.

 

Jay Conner [00:09:43]:

It’s important to be thinking down the road for 5 years. But, you know, quite frankly, if somebody asked me, Jay, where do you see yourself in 5 years? I wouldn’t have a clue. I don’t know where I’m gonna be in 5 years. Here’s why I don’t. I have no idea what other new opportunities are gonna come along that may shift my direction and shift my trajectory. So, 4 months. I take 4 months at a time. I’ve got a friend, a fellow podcaster.

 

Jay Conner [00:10:13]:

You’ve probably heard of him, Ryan Pineda. Ryan Pineda. I had Ryan on my podcast a few months ago. And did you know he hasn’t made any appointments in his calendar past 30 days? 30 days. Because he doesn’t know what other and better opportunities are gonna come along after 30 days from now.

 

Brad Sugars [00:10:37]:

I like that theory. So if I mean, we don’t all succeed on the first try. What’s your theory on the relationship between success and failure?

 

Jay Conner [00:10:49]:

Well, that’s a great question because success does not exist. Well, let me choose a different word for success. I mean, if I mean, technically speaking, the definition of success is you achieved a goal. Right? Whatever that goal was, you achieved it. Right? And so, what’s the relationship between success and failure? You probably have heard of David Meltzer. Probably heard of David Meltzer. David’s been on my podcast. There you go.

 

Jay Conner [00:11:17]:

Yep. Yeah. I have. I’ve had David on my podcast.

 

Brad Sugars [00:11:20]:

He just he’s a podcast junkie, David.

 

Jay Conner [00:11:23]:

Yes. Well, I tell you, David Meltzer, for those of you listening, m e l t z e r, he’s worth following. He has he has an interesting take on failure or mistakes. He says I don’t believe in failure did it one time. He said, but I don’t believe in failure or mistakes anymore. He says, I believe in lessons. I believe in lessons. So, when you don’t succeed as you had started to, then what can you learn from not succeeding the way that you had planned on it? Nothing is nothing is all lost if you learn from it.

 

Jay Conner [00:12:01]:

Unfortunately, that’s a problem with some people and a challenge. They just keep doing the same thing over and over and over again expecting a different result. Well, there’s a there’s a book, and you can help me think of it, Brad. Short book. It’s only got 5 chapters. It’s written by a lady, and it’s a she there was a pothole. There was a hole in the street, and she kept fall she kept falling in the hole. And she’s going and I’m paraphrasing.

 

Jay Conner [00:12:31]:

What in the world’s wrong? I mean, who put that pothole there? Right? And then as the story progresses, she takes ownership of falling into the hole. Well, so then the next chapter, she’s walking around the hole. She’s at least walking around the hole, but then she still has a problem. She still keeps falling into the hole, so she finally had a revelation when she said, I walked down a different street. I walked down a different street. And you know, to get back on your road to success, sometimes you just need to stop walking down the same road and walk down a different street. Now what does that pair how does that parable get interpreted? Well, walking down a different street could first of all mean the street over there has got a different crowd of people on it than the crowd of people on this street. Right? The street over there could have more opportunities on it than this street.

 

Jay Conner [00:13:32]:

Right? So, in answer to your question, another association between failure and success is how much resilience you have as a person. Because I’ll tell you, you’re never going to marry success for a very, very long time unless you are resilient. Because, let me tell you, it never goes as you planned. It never goes as you planned. I can’t think of anything that I achieved that went exactly as I thought it was gonna go. And so, I use this technique called the observer. The observer. So, when something happens to me in my life and I’m going, oh my, that’s like that’s looking and feeling pretty bad. Step back and just observe what’s happened and just sort of observe what’s going on, and you can step back from it and have solutions come to mind.

 

Jay Conner [00:14:27]:

When I used to work with my dad in the manufactured housing business, we’d have a problem in business. We’d be meeting with people in the afternoon, and he’d say, boys, this problem is too big for this afternoon. Let’s look at this again tomorrow because you can have a different perspective. And then I’ll I’ll finally answer this most recent question this way because this is so important. I’ve learned a lot from Jack Canfield. Jack Canfield was the co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series with Mark Victor Hansen. Had the pleasure of being around Jack 3 times and got certified as a Jack Canfield trainer about 5 years ago. But, Jack has got, his book, The Success Principles by Jack Canfield, has got 69 success principles in his book.

 

Jay Conner [00:15:17]:

And his very first principle is foundational to all of success, and that is to take 100% responsibility for everything that happens in your life. You know, there’s 2 different kinds of attitude. There’s having a victim attitude and then there’s the victor attitude. And Jack, in that first chapter, where he talks about taking 100% responsibility for everything that happens in your life, first of all, you can’t make it better unless you’re taking responsibility for it. If you’re in the blame game and blaming everybody else for everything that’s happening in your life, then you can’t make it better. So, he shares this in his very first chapter of the book this formula, and I love this formula. This formula will help you take responsibility, 100% responsibility, and dictate the outcome that you experience in your life. And here’s the formula.

 

Jay Conner [00:16:17]:

The formula is E+r equals 0. Now, unfortunately, most people walking around live by a different formula. Most people are walking around living by a formula called e equals o. Well, the e stands for event. The event that happened in your life. The o stands for the outcome that you are experiencing from that event. Well, again, if you’ve got a victim, a victim attitude or outlook, whatever happens in your life was not your fault, somebody else’s fault, and that’s going to determine how I live the rest of my life. I have a very, very good friend named David.

 

Jay Conner [00:16:55]:

His father died when he was 7 years old and everything that went wrong in his life, he attributed and blamed his father dying when he was 7 years old. Well, he didn’t do anything to attract that event in his life, but he allowed that event to determine what his life was gonna look like. Well, when David when David learned this formula by Jack Ganfield, e plus r equals o, The r stands for your response to the event. You see, we get to choose how we want to respond to any event that takes place in our life, whether we brought it in or we didn’t bring it in. So, the event happens. Maybe you caused it, maybe you didn’t. But when you have 100% choice to respond to that event that happened in your life, Now, that is going to determine the outcome. For example, I’m a real estate investor.

 

Jay Conner [00:17:55]:

For the 1st 6 years I was investing in real estate, I used the local banks. That’s all I knew to do. And then in February 2009, I got cut off from the banks. I had nothing to do with that. So the event was I lost all my lines of credit. Well, I could have let that event determine my real estate investing career, and I could have put my tail between my legs and went home and crawled in a ball in a corner and cried and drank alcohol. And hope that’s going to help the event and my outcome. Or, I could respond to that event by looking for a better way.

 

Jay Conner [00:18:30]:

You know, one of the most powerful questions when failure comes along or a problem comes along is I ask myself this question, who can help me with my problem? And, by the way, these people walking around saying every problem is an opportunity. I wanna throw up. I mean, when you have a problem, you have a problem. Let’s face it. You have a problem. Right? Don’t call it an opportunity. It’s it’s a problem. And so I asked myself.

 

Jay Conner [00:18:57]:

And this is, like, for relationships, finances, career matters. And there’s a great book that you know as well, Brad. It’s not who, it’s how. I mean, it’s not how, it’s who. I’ll get it straight in a minute. And so that’s a great book. Not how, but who. So, anyway, excuse my rambling, but that’s what came to mind.

 

Brad Sugars [00:19:16]:

You know, you bring up real estate investing. You kicked that off back in 2003, and then 2,009, you had to learn the world of private money. We’ll get to that in a second. Firstly, why real estate investing, Jay? Why real estate?

 

Jay Conner [00:19:34]:

Well, real estate, if someone’s interested in wealth, then most of the wealth in the world has been created by real estate. That’s just a fact. And I don’t know, you know, the way I read the way I invest in real estate, I don’t know any other industry that you can be in when you learn how to do it the right way that has got so little overhead with the amount of profit that you can be making on your deals. For example, what I’m getting ready to share, I’m not sharing because I’m bragging, it’s just fact. So, for example, I only have 3 two employees. I started for years. I had now two employees, but I’ve only got 3. I’ve got a full-time office manager and bookkeeper.

 

Jay Conner [00:20:23]:

I got a full-time assistant. I have a full-time acquisitionist who works from her home and talks to single-family sellers, off off-market sellers. And so, that’s my overhead and then my marketing to find deals. Well, my average profit right now in this small town that I’m in, in Eastern North Carolina, is $82,000 per single-family transaction. I just made $160,000 in 5 weeks on a condominium over at Atlantic Beach. And so, why, again, I’m not bragging, I’m just answering the question, I don’t know where you can make this kind of profit in other businesses with so low overhead.

 

Brad Sugars [00:21:04]:

Well, hey there, and thanks for listening. I’ve noticed that 78% of you are brand new, which means you haven’t hit the subscribe button yet. By subscribing, you help us bring on even better guests, and better quality content and serve you better with even more podcasts. So please hit that subscribe button. It only takes a second. It makes a huge difference. If you support us, we’re gonna support your success and help you achieve big success together. Now I wanted, first of all, when we come to get private money, to deal with the psychology of this.

 

Brad Sugars [00:21:37]:

Most people have a psychology, I gotta do it on my own. You know, I gotta work hard. I gotta hustle and grind. I gotta do it on my own. Bootstrap it. And I know as a young man, I almost wore it as a badge of honor for how hard I worked and how much I had to do and how I did it all by myself sort of thing. When it takes to raising capital, what’s the psychology shift, or what’s the the the way we gotta shift so that we’re excited about using other people’s money, not scared of it or worried about it or thinking it’s the wrong way to go?

 

Jay Conner [00:22:10]:

Yeah. I’m glad you asked that question because this word for private money is 180 degrees different than the traditional way to raise, and borrow money. You know, the traditional way that 99.9% of people think about borrowing money is you have gotta go to the local bank or the hard money lender, institutional money, get on your hands and knees, put your hands underneath your chin, and plead and beg, and raise your skirt, and show them your assets, and get a colonoscopy and everything else they want you to do. That’s the traditional way of borrowing money. The traditional way of thinking is the lender makes the rules. The lender sets the interest rate. The lender does the underwriting. The lender sets the maximum loan to value.

 

Jay Conner [00:23:02]:

The lender sets the frequency of payments. So, what I had to get my mind wrapped around, and I tell people it’s gonna be hard for you to own real estate using private money until you own the real estate between your ears. I say the first thing you have to understand is we’re not asking for money. We’re not asking for money. So, how do we do this? And, you know, I’ve never pitched a deal. I have 47 private lenders right now. Not one of them had ever heard of private money until I put on my teacher hat, My teacher hat. My private money teacher hat.

 

Jay Conner [00:23:36]:

And, I started teaching them what private money is. Not one of them had ever heard of private money or how they can use self-directed IRAs and their retirement accounts to earn tax-free or tax-deferred, you know, money. So, how do we go about this you know, I  tell I tell new real estate investors, they say, Jay, how do I overcome the fear of rejection? Well, let me ask her let me ask that let me answer that question with a question. How can you be rejected if you’re not asking anybody for anything? So, let me unpack this to where it makes sense. So, when I lost my line of credit, I put my private money program together that I was going to offer and teach to individuals, just regular people I know in my connections, how they can earn high rates of return safely and securely. So, first I would teach them the program. You know, the worst time to be trying to raise private money is when you need it for a deal, for goodness’ sake, and desperation has got a smell to it. And if you’re talking about, well, here’s what private money is and how you can earn high rates of return and here’s a deal that I need to be funded, you’re already sounding desperate and you’re not even meaning to.

 

Jay Conner [00:24:53]:

Right? So, we separate the conversations of the private lending programs, and how you can be a lender yourself, either with investment capital or retirement funds. Here’s how you can be a lender. I don’t have anything for you today, but I should be able to put your money to work pretty quickly if you’re interested in this. And so, we teach them the program. What’s the interest rate I pay? 8%. How can you get you how can you get your money back in case of an emergency? What’s my maximum loan-to-value? Which, by the way, is the maximum loan to value of after repaired value and not the purchase price. That’s why I always bring them a big check when I buy. So we share the program and then they say, yeah.

 

Jay Conner [00:25:34]:

I like that. Right? Or if they’ve got retirement funds that they’re not getting a good rate of return, we’ll introduce them to our self-directed IRA company, which we recommend. They move their funds over. So they’ve told us how much they got. They like the program, and they’re here with some secret sauce. I call them up with the good news phone call. So I say, Brad, let’s say that, you’re one of my new private lenders. I call you up.

 

Jay Conner [00:26:00]:

We have a little chit-chat. I say, Brad, I got great news. I can now put your money to work. I got a house in Newport, North Carolina here with a repaired value of $200,000 The funding required is $150,000 You told me that’s what you got. That matches up to you. The closing is going to be next Thursday, so you’ll need to have your funds wired to my real estate attorney’s trust account by next Wednesday. I’m going to have my real estate attorney email you the wiring instructions. End of conversation.

 

Jay Conner [00:26:30]:

The most stupid question I could have asked Brad is, do you want to fund the deal? Well, of course, Brad wants to fund the deal, and here’s why. I’m not bringing him a deal to fund unless it matches the criteria of the program that I already taught him. Secondly, if Brad has moved his retirement funds over to a self-directed IRA company at my recommendation and my introduction, Brad’s not making any money until I put his money to work. So, again, it’s not coming you’re not chasing, begging, selling, persuading. You’re teaching, offering an opportunity, leading with a servant’s heart. And what I discovered way back in 2009, the private lenders need us as much as we need the private lenders. It’s a win win win, and, truth be told, there’s more money out there today than there are deals.

 

Brad Sugars [00:27:26]:

No. That that I 100% agree with. That is, it’s like let me go back to 2 things you said, though, first and foremost. When you’re teaching, you’re educating, you’re giving people knowledge, I think that that’s doing a service for people. It’s not, you know, I think most people want to know, and that’s why I do this podcast. People wanna know, how do I succeed at stuff like this? What got you to love teaching? What was it about teaching that brought you there?

 

Jay Conner [00:28:01]:

I was raised in the Church of Christ here in Newport, North Carolina, and I grew up here with some fantastic speakers, and I grew up hearing some horrible speakers. But I was exposed to this world of public speaking as a child, so I was around 3 times a week, people teaching. And so then, before my accent changed, I got it on cassette tape. Now, I know some of your listeners don’t have a clue what a cassette tape is, but I still have on cassette tape the 15-minute recording of me doing my very first talk on a Wednesday night. And, the name of the talk was Why I believe in God. I mean, I cringe whenever I say, it’s pretty entertaining right now. But why teach? Well, I enjoy it. I grew up seeing it going on, and it’s just a joy.

 

Jay Conner [00:28:59]:

I mean, it is a joy to see people benefit from what you’re able to share with them. And I tell you if you start talking about what self-directed IRAs are and how they can earn unlimited money, either tax-free or tax-deferred, tax-free for goodness sake, you’re sharing knowledge and information with 99.9% of

 

Brad Sugars [00:29:20]:

The people that never heard of that world. Buddy, when I said, like, my 2 eldest daughters now 21, 22, when I said them in their own self-directed IRA, and, and people are like, what do you mean? Yeah. Well, they got their Roth IRA over here. That’s doing that stuff. Right, just to do the basics for them for the rest of their lives. They’ll be here. They got their self-directed IRA, and they’re they’re learning to invest. They’re becoming better investors, but I think it makes sense to work with great partners.

 

Brad Sugars [00:29:51]:

Jay, I wanna ask you one other thing, the little detail in one of the things you mentioned there. People need to understand that you tell them this is what we’re doing. It’s not like the market’s been up and down. Have you changed what you’ve offered during that time? Tell me more about that.

 

Jay Conner [00:30:12]:

So I started borrowing private money, teaching individuals how they could be private lenders, in February 2009. I started, I put my program together paying 8%, either accruing and not making payments, depending on how long I was gonna be in the deal, or if they needed monthly payments, paying them interest-only payments. And so here we are today. I’m still paying them 8%, the same thing. And people ask me, particularly in the market we’re in, they say, Jay, how in the world can you still be paying your private lenders 8% and interest rates have gone out of sight? I said, well, there are 2 answers to that. Number 1, you can go down to the bank today here in Morehead City on Bridges Street at First Citizens Bank, and you can get a 12-month CD for somewhere around 4%, 4 a half percent. Well, 8% is, like, twice as much as you can get at the bank. Right? Now before COVID, that 12-month CD got down to 0.17 percent per year.

 

Jay Conner [00:31:21]:

8%, of course, was fantastic. But 8% now is still twice as much, as the local bank. And the other reason I’m still paying 8% is because I make the rules and not the lender.

 

Brad Sugars [00:31:35]:

Yeah. I think that’s important to understand. Hey, Jay. I could chat with you about this for hours. I know we have a time schedule. Let me do 2 things. First of all, anyone watching this, there’s in the show notes, Jay’s 7-day challenge. Click the button, go learn from Jay, study Jay, and do all that stuff.

 

Brad Sugars [00:31:55]:

My final question, Jay, to everyone is, what’s the best quote or the best advice you ever got on the subject of success?

 

Jay Conner [00:32:04]:

The best quote on success. Wow. You have stumped me right there, Brad, with the best definite that I’ve heard from somebody else. Right? Yeah.

 

Brad Sugars [00:32:15]:

You can give us your own, Jay. Oh, well, well, I’m willing to take yours.

 

Jay Conner [00:32:20]:

Yes. The best definition of success. Well, I don’t know if this is a definition, but I’ll tell it in a short story or an observation. I don’t know of anybody that was laying on their deathbed that said, you know, I wish I had spent some more time at the office. I wish I had spent more time building my empire. I wish I had spent more time making money. I think what most people say on their deathbed is, I wish I had spent more time with the people that are most important to me in my life. Because when this life is over, it’s over here.

 

Jay Conner [00:33:08]:

What are you looking forward to? So my definition of success or to be aware of is just to make sure along the line, you’re doing what is most important to you deep down, and that’s family, friends, and God.

 

Brad Sugars [00:33:24]:

Love it. Big success podcast. I’m Brad Sugar your host. We’ll be back next week with more of your success.

 

Narrator [00:33:33]:

You’ve been listening to the big success podcast with the number one business coach in the world, Brad Sugars. To learn more about how to achieve business and personal success, as well as how to level up or listen to past episodes, visit www.bradsugars.com.

 

Narrator [00:33:53]:

Are you feeling inspired by the knowledge you gained in this episode? Then head over to www.JayConner.com/MoneyGuide.   That’s www.JayConner.com/MoneyGuide and download your free guide that shares seven reasons why private money will skyrocket your real estate investing business right now. Again, that’s www.JayConner.com/MoneyGuide to get your free guide. We’ll see you next time on raising private money with Jay Conner.