***Guest Appearance
Credits to:
https://www.youtube.com/@WayneVeldsman
“He Raised $8 Million Without Banks..! Jay Conner’s Faith‑Driven Path to Financial Freedom | JTL 131.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jjG6ylaubY&t=13s
The journey to legacy in entrepreneurship often begins not with a blank slate, but in the midst of adversity. The story shared by Jay Conner in his conversation with Wayne Veldsman is a testament to how true breakthroughs often arise from the very problems that threaten to shut us down.
Jay Conner, known widely as the Private Money Authority, didn’t step into the real estate world on a winning streak—his early years were spent navigating the traditional, often painstaking path of bank-funded deals. Like many investors, he played by the rules of the banks: filling out applications, sharing personal financials, and hoping for approval. It wasn’t until a pivotal moment in 2009, when his line of credit was revoked without warning despite a spotless repayment record, that everything changed.
Rather than succumbing to defeat, Jay Conner chose to see his challenge as a problem to be solved, not an end to his ambitions. His solution? He reached out to his network, discovered the world of private money and self-directed IRAs, and quickly realized he could bypass traditional lenders altogether. The approach was transformative: within 90 days, he raised over $2 million in private funding by educating individuals in his circle about alternative investments, sometimes gathering nearly a million at a single luncheon.
This experience shaped a guiding principle for Jay Conner: the money should come first in real estate investing, not just the deals. Contrary to common advice that securing property comes before securing funds, Jay Conner advocates for building your financial firepower first. Doing so unlocks confidence and agility in a competitive marketplace, letting investors make offers knowing funding is already in place.
What truly sets Jay Conner’s story apart is the mindset at the heart of his success. He makes it clear that the biggest stumbling block for aspiring entrepreneurs isn’t the lack of opportunity or resources, but fear—specifically, fear of the unknown.
Many are daunted by the prospect of trying something new, or are too focused on themselves in networking situations. But the traits that define successful people, Jay Conner argues, include relentless curiosity and the willingness to move beyond their comfort zones. This “childlike curiosity”—always asking “why” and seeking to learn—turns what could be stumbling blocks into stepping stones.
Jay Conner also highlights the critical role of community and mentorship. He admits his early mistake was trying to figure everything out on his own, relying on past experiences from a different industry. The value of surrounding oneself with like-minded individuals in mastermind groups or professional circles cannot be overstated. These connections foster growth, provide support during challenging transitions, and allow for the rapid acquisition of new knowledge.
Integral to Jay Conner’s philosophy is the idea of leading with service. Instead of chasing, persuading, or pitching deals to lenders, he approaches potential investors as an educator, focused on offering value and exposing them to new opportunities. He explains that many of his private lenders had never considered alternative investments until he introduced the idea, and he helps them benefit from higher returns either through investment capital or leveraging assets like home equity or insurance.
At the core, Jay Conner’s approach is rooted in faith and the desire to help others—a “servant’s heart.” This attitude isn’t just a personal preference; it’s a powerful strategy. By prioritizing others’ needs and giving first, he’s experienced growth and fulfillment that reaches beyond business, impacting families and empowering others to break free from restrictive lender rules.
For those pursuing their own entrepreneurial journey, the takeaways are clear: Embrace discomfort as a catalyst for growth, develop a relentless curiosity, build a strong community, and lead with service. Problems will inevitably arise, but as Jay Conner’s story demonstrates, they can become the very foundation of your greatest successes.
10 Discussion Questions from this Episode:
- Jay Conner emphasizes the importance of “getting comfortable being uncomfortable.” How do you think this mindset shift can impact someone’s success in entrepreneurship or any new pursuit?
- The episode highlights the difference between traditional bank financing and raising private money. What are some advantages and potential challenges of seeking private lenders over banks for real estate investing?
- Curiosity is called a key trait for successful entrepreneurs. Can you share a real-life example of curiosity helping turn a problem into an opportunity in your own life or career?
- Jay Conner discusses the power of networking and being “a teacher” rather than a “salesperson” when raising capital. Why do you think educating others is more effective than pitching?
- The formula “E + R = O”—event plus response equals outcome—was shared as a guiding principle. How could adopting this approach change how you deal with setbacks?
- Jay Conner mentions that many people are held back by the fear of the unknown and lack of confidence. What are some practical steps you’ve found effective for overcoming those fears?
- The episode talks about the “victim mentality” versus the “victor mentality.” How do you recognize if you’re slipping into a victim mindset, and what helps you shift out of it?
- Building a “tribe” or community of like-minded people is a recurring theme. How has being part of a supportive group or mastermind influenced your personal or professional growth?
- Jay Conner integrates his faith and a servant’s heart into his business approach. In your experience, how can values like service and faith shape career success and legacy?
- The idea that “most legacies fade after 100 years” was mentioned, with music and positive impact standing out as enduring legacies. What do you want your legacy to be, and what steps are you taking now to shape it?
Fun facts that were revealed in the episode:
- Jay Conner was able to raise over $2 million in new funding for his real estate deals in less than 90 days after being cut off from bank funding, and even collected nearly $1 million at a single private lender luncheon.
- Music plays a big role in Jay Conner’s life—he and his wife, Carol Joy, write gospel hymns and spiritual songs that have been sung by tens of thousands of people around the world.
- Jay Conner credits his success to curiosity and a servant’s heart, sharing that his desire to serve others and keep learning new things shaped his real estate career and impact on others.
Timestamps:
00:01 Curiosity, Faith & Private Money
04:21 Curiosity Enhances Meeting Others
08:59 Private Money Lending Explained
10:23 Private Lending for Real Estate
13:35 Private Lender Investment Strategies
17:25 Craig and Kim’s House Flip
22:00 Discovering Private Money Investing
24:43 Mastering Challenges with E.O.R.
28:27 Define Goals and Embrace Change
32:42 Indirect Method for Entrepreneurs
37:07 Lessons from Early Mistakes
39:06 Giving Away My Book
41:34 Legacy: Impact and Music
45:11 Serving Others Through Homeownership
48:23 Response Shapes Outcome
Connect With Jay Conner:
Private Money Academy Conference:
Free Report:
https://www.jayconner.com/MoneyReport
Join the Private Money Academy:
https://www.JayConner.com/trial/
Have you read Jay’s new book, Where to Get the Money Now?
It is available FREE (all you pay is the shipping and handling) at https://www.JayConner.com/Book
What is Private Money? Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner
http://www.JayConner.com/MoneyPodcast
Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. Without using his own money or credit, Jay maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $67,000 per deal.
#RealEstate #RealEstateInvesting #RealEstateInvestingForBeginners #Foreclosures #FlippingHouses #PrivateMoney #RaisingPrivateMoney #JayConner
YouTube Channel
https://www.youtube.com/c/RealEstateInvestingWithJayConner
Apple Podcast:
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https://www.facebook.com/jay.conner.marketing
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/JayConner01
Pinterest:
https://www.pinterest.com/JConner_PrivateMoneyAuthority
The Mindset Shift That Tripled Jay Conner’s Business Through Private Money
Jay Conner [00:00:00]:
Successful people learn how to get comfortable being uncomfortable, right? So anything that is new that you’ve never done before is uncomfortable. What is it that holds them back? What holds them back is being uncomfortable doing anything new, right? So, how do you overcome that? Well, one way to overcome doing something new that you’ve never done before is do it with somebody who’s already done it, right? You know, entrepreneurs, successful entrepreneurs are not people who live on an island and go about being an entrepreneur by themselves. They surround themselves with like-minded people to help get them to their destination.
Narrator [00:00:55]:
Right, if you’re a real estate investor and are wondering how to raise and leverage private money to make more profit on every deal, then you’re in the right place. On Raising Private Money, we’ll speak with new and seasoned investors to dissect their deals and extract the best tips and strategies to help you get the money, because the money comes first. Now here’s your host, Jay Conner.
Jay Conner [00:01:23]:
You know, I had never put two and two together until you just summarized my story. And I’ve shared my story more than 800 times, but nobody has ever connected the pieces of it— it’s the curious mind that can lead you from a problem to an opportunity.
Wayne Veldsman [00:01:41]:
It’s the curious mind that can lead you from a problem to an opportunity. Welcome back, everybody, to another week of the Journey to Legacy podcast. Today, I have for you, Mr. Jay Conner, known as the Private Money Authority. Why is he known as that? Jay focuses on helping others to raise private money to invest in real estate. What is private money? We dive so deep into it in this episode. Not just that, we dive into faith, entrepreneurship, and the role of curiosity in success. And he actually teaches you how to not go to banks and get loans or mortgages for real estate investment, but to actually go to private individuals to raise as much as $1 million in a single session, which is exactly what Jay did.
Wayne Veldsman [00:02:47]:
And it’s how he thrived during the 2008 financial crisis while others suffered. Jay is an amazing guest. He leaves it all on the table. And at the end of the day, he does so because he is faith-driven and believes in giving first, helping others first, because he knows it’ll all come back around to him. End of the day as well. I hope you enjoyed this episode with Mr. Jay Conner, the Private Money Authority. Well, so I’m curious right from the get-go.
Wayne Veldsman [00:03:24]:
You said you could tell that I have a curious mind. What role do you think curiosity plays in entrepreneurship?
Jay Conner [00:03:31]:
Oh, wow. Curiosity plays a huge part in entrepreneurship. For one thing, successful entrepreneurs, at least my own experience, we have an insatiable appetite for learning because learning is— I mean, there’s always new, there’s always new things to learn. I can’t remember who gets the credit for this quote. It’s not me. But someone once said, your future and your destiny are predicated on who you will meet and the books you read. And successful entrepreneurs, from my own experience, are very curious. They always want to learn new things.
Jay Conner [00:04:21]:
They want to meet new people. And curiosity plays in, plays into another realm of the successful, because when I’m curious about you, and I’m meeting someone new, that means my focus is on yo,u and my focus is not on myself. So often when we meet new people, A lot of times we’re thinking about what we’re going to say next, or what the message is that I want to bring about. And of course, Dale Carnegie, you know, wrote the book How to Win Friends and Influence People, and it’s all about them, and it’s not about us. Because when we show an interest in the other person, then if they’re interested, we can talk about ourselves at that time. So curiosity, really, really is just a wonderful attribute to have when it comes to networking and learning new people.
Wayne Veldsman [00:05:14]:
Absolutely. Curious when it comes to networking, meeting new people, and learning about them. I’ve never heard this quote before, which I’ll of course butcher now, but that our future success is dependent on the people we meet and the books we read, right? And if we don’t have a curious mind, to seek out new books to gain information, or when we meet new people, to be curious about them, to learn about them, then we’re sort of just a shut door. We’re that classic teenager and know-it-all, right? No, I know, Mom. I know. I know. Is that sort of the right message that I’m picking up?
Jay Conner [00:05:54]:
Absolutely. And when we’re talking about curiosity, I like to call it childlike curiosity. I mean, what’s the favorite question that a child asks over and over and over again? Why? Why? Why? Why is one of the best questions you can ask someone?
Wayne Veldsman [00:06:15]:
Why is one of the best questions you can ask someone? Have you ever heard that the question of why can have a negative connotation and be a little disruptive to people?
Jay Conner [00:06:27]:
It depends on how you ask it. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. So, you know, I can look at you, Wayne, and you, and you say something. I could say, well, why in the world would you say that? Or why in the world would you think that? Or you could ask that same question a totally different way by saying, well, Wayne, you’ve really got my curiosity up. Why is that?
Wayne Veldsman [00:06:54]:
Well said. It’s super situational and depends on how you deliver a message, not just the words that you use. So, Jay, to rewind a little bit, thanks again so much for being here today. You’re known as the private money authority. Why don’t you just tell all of our listeners who aren’t familiar with your work just a little bit more about yourself?
Jay Conner [00:07:15]:
Yeah, sure. Well, first of all, what in the world is private money? Well, I started investing in single-family houses here in eastern North Carolina, va ery small market, only 40,000 people. But we have done 2 to 3 deals or transactions a month over all these years since 2003. And to answer the question, what is private money? Well, let me, let me answer that question by telling what private money is not. So the traditional way to borrow money for real estate, orto borrow money for anything, is you either go to the local bank or you go to a mortgage company, or in this world of real estate, you might go to a hard money lender. And by the way, private money is not hard money for any real estate entrepreneurs out there listening. But the traditional way to borrow money is you go to the bank or the mortgage company and you, and you’re applying, you’re asking, you’re applying for a mortgage. And in this world of private money, it’s the exact opposite.
Jay Conner [00:08:19]:
There are no applications. There is no approval process. You’re already approved. Your credit score’s got nothing to do with how much funding you get. Instead of asking for a mortgage, you are offering a mortgage. So when I started raising private money, what I did first of all was I put— people ask me all the time, they say, Jay, how do I start raising private money to fund my real estate deals? And I said, well, the first thing you’ve got to do is own the real estate between your ears. And what I mean by that is having the right mindset. So instead of chasing, begging, selling, persuading, or applying to borrow money, I’m offering the opportunity.
Jay Conner [00:08:59]:
So how do, how do I go about doing that? Well, the first thing I do is put on my teacher hat, and my teacher hat says Private Money Teacher. So I lead with a servant’s heart, and I expose people in my own network. And of course, I’m expanding my network all the time and growing my network. So I expose people in my own connections to what this world of private money is about. So, a private lender is an ordinary person just like you or me who loans money to a real estate investor for their real estate deals, either from their investment capital, just liquid capital, maybe they got money in a CD at a bank, etc., and/or their retirement funds. So an individual can take current retirement funds, move them to a self-directed IRA company that’s approved by the IRS, and then they can loan or invest that money in real estate. And the returns they get are either tax-deferred or tax-free, depending on the type of retirement account they’ve got. So I have 47 private lenders right now, individuals, ordinary people, retired school teachers, retired law enforcement officers, um, ordinary people.
Jay Conner [00:10:23]:
I have 47 people who are funding my real estate deals, loaning me money. I give them a mortgage or a deed of trust to secure their money. And protect them and look after them. Here’s what’s interesting, Wayne. Not one of my 47 private lenders ever heard of private money or private lending until I put on my teacher hat, and I exposed them to this opportunity as to how they could earn high rates of return safely and securely. Now, I didn’t start out using private money. From 2003 to 2009, in January 2009, the only thing I knew to do to get funding for my real estate deals was go to the local bank or the mortgage company and get on my hands and knees and say, please fund my deal, right? They, they made the rules. You know, the traditional thinking is that when you borrow money, he or she who has the money makes the rules.
Jay Conner [00:11:15]:
That’s not true. That’s an old belief. That’s an old belief. So in this world, instead of asking or applying, we’re teaching, and we’re offering the opportunity. Not one of my 47 private lenders ever heard of private money, private lending, or self-directed IRAs until I put on my teacher hat and exposed them to it. And so as a result, since 2009, I’ve never asked anybody for money. I’ve never pitched a deal. If time permits,s while on the show here with you, I’ll actually give you and your audience the exact script, the exact words that I use when I call up one of my private lenders for them to fund my real estate deals, and I never ask them for money.
Jay Conner [00:12:00]:
So it’s all about serving, having a servant’s heart, and leadingasg a teacher. And, you know, you may have never heard this, Wayne. I don’t know how involved you are in real estate, but you know, a lot of gurus and teachers out there for real estate investors will say, oh, just get the deal under contract. The money will show up. That’s the most stupid thing I ever heard in my life. Where’s the money going to show up? Is it going to rain out of clouds or something? So I teach, and I practice, get the money lined up first, which doesn’t take long at all. You can get hundreds of thousands of dollars ready to fund your deals in less than a month. And then just think about how much more confident, how many more offers you’re going to make on real estate when you have the money burning a hole in your pocket.
Jay Conner [00:12:48]:
Ready to go.
Wayne Veldsman [00:12:49]:
Wow. I like it. Interesting. So, Jay, you started in, dare I say, traditional real estate, where you were going to banks to actually pitch deals, right, to get classic traditional mortgages to fund these deals, before you learned about private money. Is that sort of where you got started? Correct. Nice. And now the trick to private money is being an educator first, right? So it’s finding regular individuals who are going to fund deals as easily as investments. So a different type of retirement investing is essentially what you’re educating people about, and they are helping to fund your different real estate deals.
Jay Conner [00:13:35]:
Well, it could be retirement funds or not. I have some private lenders who are not using retirement funds. They’re just using the investment capital that maybe they had in the stock market, and they got sick and tired of the volatility of the stock market. I have some individuals who are exclusively just using retirement funds, and maybe they had that in the stock market,t and they were, you know, sick and tired of the volatility. I’ve got other private lenders that are using investment capital and retirement funds. I’ve got other private lenders that are doing what I call arbitrage or leveraging an asset. They may go to the local bank and get a HELOC, a home equity line of credit, on their property. And they, they use that line of credit to loan money out to me on my deals.
Jay Conner [00:14:25]:
And so guess what? That’s an infinite rate of return for them. You can’t measure a rate of return when you’re loaning the bank’s money out, and you’re not loaning your money out. So that’s leveraging an asset. Some of my private lenders have a whole life insurance policy, and they’ll borrow against the whole life insurance policy. I’ll pay them a much higher rate of return than the little interest that they pay the insurance company. And they’re not even loaning out their own money. They’re loaning out the insurance company’s money and doing another arbitrage play.
Wayne Veldsman [00:14:56]:
Well, I like it. I like it. So it truly is a different way to invest your money, wherever the money is coming from, right? If you’re using some of this arbitrage, right, using other people’s money, the bank’s money, actually, to then invest through you, or if it’s retirement, or if it’s just other investments. That is super interesting. You know, Jay, so I think a lot of people don’t even think that real estate is an option for them, or flipping homes is an option for them, anything like that, let alone raising millions of dollars in private money, right? What sparked your journey into real estate that led you in this direction?
Jay Conner [00:15:35]:
That’s a great question. You know, the best laid plans never work out the way you think they will. So I was, I was born, I was raised in the mobile home business. Now, you being from Virginia, you know what a mobile home is or a trailer or a wobbly box, as they used to call them. Unfortunately, those products are pretty much gone. Like there’s, there’s less than 5% of that product manufactured today. Than before 2003. But I was raised in that industry.
Jay Conner [00:16:05]:
My father, Wallace Conner, who, by the way, is almost 92 years old, and he’s in the middle of building 350 new houses in a development. When I grow up, I want to be like him. But at one time, he was the largest retailer. His company was the largest retailer of mobile homes in the nation. Conner Corporation, Conner Mobile Homes. And so, anyway, the whole industry fell out of favor with Wall Street in the early 2000s. So the consumer financing for that product virtually went away, gone. And so if you don’t have financing for the product, no product, hardly any product’s going to be sold.
Jay Conner [00:16:45]:
So anyway, I knew if I ever got out of mobile homes, I wanted to get into single-family houses. And so that opportunity came along in 2003. The mobile home industry went away. I knew I wanted to get into single-family houses. There’s sort of a— well, I’ll tell you the short version. Why single-family houses? How did I know I wanted to get into single-family houses? I just didn’t dream it one night. Well, I remember in 1993, 10 years before I started investing in single-family houses, really good friends of mine and my wife, Carol Joy, is my wife’s name. Well, really good friends of ours live in New Bern, North Carolina.
Jay Conner [00:17:25]:
Their names are Craig and Kim, and Craig and Kim wanted to build their new house in 1993, but they didn’t have the money to do it, uh, didn’t have the money for a down payment, etc. So anyway, Kim’s father lived down in Florida at the time, and he was a real estate investor, and he said, I’ll tell you what, Craig and Kim, I’ll come up to New Bern, we’ll find a fixer-upper, I’ll buy it, you do the sweat equity on the nights and weekends, We’ll flip it, we’ll sell it. You keep the profit. There’s the seed money for your house. Well, in less than 90 days, they pocketed $30,000 in 1993. And I’m going, wait a minute, I’m busting my butt trying to make $3,000 on a single-wide mobile home, and they just made $30,000 in 90 days on one house. I know what I want to do. And this is before HGTV and all that stuff.
Jay Conner [00:18:20]:
Was so sexy on TV. Anyway, so I knew that’s what I wanted to do. Well, my first 6 years investing in single-family houses from 2003 to January of 2009, the only thing I knew to do was the old traditional thinking that I talked about. Go to the local bank or the mortgage company and apply. And so that’s what I did. It worked out, Wayne, okay. For the first 6 years. I mean, you know, I had to lift my skirt and show my personal assets to the banker, financial statements, and credit scores, and all that kind of stuff traditionally.
Jay Conner [00:19:01]:
But it worked out okay until everything changed. Everything changed. In January 2009, I called up my banker. His name was Steve. And Steve and I had done a lot of business. He had funded a lot of deals for me for 6 years. And I called him up and, you know, it’s hard to believe we actually still have landlines here in North Carolina, you know, with cords attached to handsets. But I called him up, and I had 2 houses under contract to purchase, and I thought I still had a line of credit at the bank.
Jay Conner [00:19:36]:
So I called up Steve to get these 2 houses funded. And like that, Wayne, I learned over the phonethat my line of credit had been closed with no notice to me. I said, Steve, what in the world are you talking about? You’ve closed my line of credit. I got an 800 credit score. I’ve made all my payments on time for 6 years, and you’re shutting down my line of credit. What in the world’s going on? Steve said, Jay, don’t you know there’s a global financial crisis going on right now? I said no, but you just gave me a financial crisis. I don’t have a way to fund my 2 deals. He said, sorry, Jay, we’re not loaning money out.
Jay Conner [00:20:12]:
So I hung up the phone. And Wayne, I want to share with you a very powerful question that I ask myself. And in fact, this question, the answer to this question will help fix any problem anybody’s got going on. I don’t care if it’s health, relationships, career, or financial; it doesn’t matter. And by the way, these people running around saying, oh, every problem is an opportunity, I want to throw up. I didn’t have an opportunity; I had a problem. Now, that problem became an opportunity over the years. You and I wouldn’t be here today having a little chat unless I’d had that problem. So I hung up the phone.
Jay Conner [00:20:49]:
Here’s the question I asked myself that changed the total trajectory of my career. I asked myself, I said Jay, who do you know? It’s not how, it’s who. Who do you know that can help fix your problem? Immediately, when I asked myself that question, I thought of Jeff Blankenship. Now Jeff’s a dear friend. We are still close friends. We know each other from gospel singing events and a cappella singing events, and just saw him and his wife not long ago at one of those singing events. Anyway, I called up Jeff. No,w Jeff was investing in single-family houses in Greensboro, North Carolina.
Jay Conner [00:21:34]:
In 2009. So I called him up. I told Jeff what had happened. I told him my problem, asking him how he could fix my problem. And Jeff said, well, Jay, interesting story you just shared with me. Welcome to the club. I said, well, I’m not sure I want to be a member of that club, but what club are you talking about? He said, that’s the club of having the bank shut down your line of credit. He said, my bank shut me down last week.
Jay Conner [00:22:00]:
I said, well, Jeff, how are you going to fund your deals? He said, well, have you ever heard of private money? I said, no. He said, have you ever heard of self-directed IRAs and how people can use retirement funds to loan money out to us real estate investors? And the money they— or the interest we pay them is either tax-deferred or tax-free. I said, Jeff, I don’t have a clue what in the world you’re talking about. I said, what’s private money? He said, well, there’s this gentleman down in Jacksonville, Florida, by the name of Ron LeGrand. And I said, who’s Ron LeGrand? He said, I don’t know what private money is. I don’t know who Ron LeGrand is, but I know he says we can get a lot of it really, really fast. I said, okay. So I went to my first real estate investing seminar with Jeff to learn about private money.
Jay Conner [00:22:49]:
And oh boy, did I learn about private money. I came back home, I put my program together that I was going to teach people in my own network, and I was able to raise $2,150,000 in new funding in less than 90 days. And I don’t say that to brag. I’m just saying this world is easy when you know what to teach,h and you know, you know what to offer. And so that was new funding that I didn’t have available. Just through my own networks. And it happened so quickly. I raised $969,000 at just one private lender luncheon,n where I just invited a few people, nd fed them lunch,h and shared my little PowerPoint presentation about what this world of private money is all about.
Jay Conner [00:23:36]:
Didn’t have any deals connected to it. See, that’s the secret sauce right there. The reason it’s so easy to get this private money is that we separate the conversations of teaching what the world is about, what this opportunity is about, and then having a deal or deals for them to fund. So it was because of getting cut off from the bank that the problem actually did become an opportunity. When I was cut off from the bank in January of 2009— 2009, Wayne— my business tripled. My business tripled after being cut off. Well, stop and think about it. You might not be old enough to remember.
Jay Conner [00:24:17]:
I’m not sure. But here’s what was going on. In 2009, you had all those foreclosures. You had all those foreclosures going on, right? And the banks weren’t loaning money. Now stop and think about that for a second. You got all these foreclosures blowing up, and the banks aren’t loaning money. You’ve got to have the cash. Well, now I have the money, private money, not relying on the banks.
Jay Conner [00:24:43]:
And you got all these foreclosures that are on the courthouse steps and being listed with realtors. So because of this new funding, I was able to pick and choose the deals I wanted to do,o and the business tripled. But let’s unpack the big takeaway. Here’s the big takeaway. The big takeaway is when you have a problem presented to you, and it falls in your lap, and whether you had anything to do with it or you didn’t have anything to do with it, what are you going to do? Well, my good friend Jack Canfield, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, I learned a very, very important formula from Jack Canfield. And this formula will put you in control of your destiny. And the formula is E O R. E O R, which stands for the event, no matter what that is.
Jay Conner [00:25:44]:
My event was being cut off from the banks. The event plus your response to the event, which you’re in total control of. You can respond to an event any way you want to. You might not have had anything to do with the event, but you’re 100% responsible for your response to the event. And that equals O, the outcome.
Jay Conner [00:26:19]:
So whatever outcome or destiny that you’re wanting to be experiencing in your life You get to choose your outcome because you get to choose the response to the event. Unfortunately, most people are walking around and living by a very, very different formula. Most people are walking around living by a formula that’s called E O. The event equals the outcome. But guess what? The event does not have to be equal.
Wayne Veldsman [00:26:50]:
The outcome when you choose the response. Nice. Jay, I absolutely love this, my friend. Especially this E R O, right? Whatever the event that occurs, often a problem, right? Plus, your response equals the outcome. What’s, what’s the reasoning that so many people are skipping even the thought of that?
Jay Conner [00:27:14]:
Do they have the opportunity to respond and change the outcome? Unfortunately, a lot of people live with what’s called a victim mentality. Victim mentality. And a successful entrepreneur is not going to have a victim mentality. Victim mentality is the opposite of victor mentality. So a lot of people go through life letting the tide take them wherever the tide wants to take them. Um, part of that is a close cousin to also having a mentality that they don’t know what they want. You know, if you go back to, uh, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, um, brilliant, one of the most brilliant books I’ve ever read, and I still read it over and over again. One of the first principles of the successful people that he interviewed is a very, very strong desire.
Jay Conner [00:28:16]:
But along with that desire, knowing what it is you want, right? If I don’t know what I want, I don’t even know if I’m ever going to arrive, you know?
Wayne Veldsman [00:28:27]:
So anyway, that was a long answer to your short question. No, I appreciate that. You know, and this is a great example, actually, here of— I mentioned Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich, right? Right in the beginning. Showing us how we are supposed to arrive at a final destination if we don’t even know what that destination looks like? If we don’t know what we want, how are we going to be able to get it? Right? So you have to define that first. Jay, also your story of how, you know, your family started in mobile homes, but then, it sounds like you were being a servant to your friends to help them make money on flipping a house. That’s when you realized that single-family homes, you could make a lot more money also in a short period of time, which pushed you in this direction to investing traditionally through the banks, to, of course, the housing market crisis, 2008, 2009, you got cut off. And then, luckily,y you had a curious mind. And so you went, and you learned about private money.
Wayne Veldsman [00:29:33]:
And actually getting investments from individuals, which then allowed you to capitalize in 2009. All these foreclosures were going on. Nobody else could get money from the banks. You had cash from private money lenders around you.
Jay Conner [00:29:48]:
And so you could capitalize. And you said your business tripled in 2009. That’s right. That’s right. And so, yes, it’s— and, you know, I had never put two and two together until you just summarized my story. And I’ve shared my story more than 800 times, but nobody has ever connected the pieces of it’s the curious mind.
Wayne Veldsman [00:30:12]:
That can lead you from a problem to an opportunity. It’s the curious mind that can lead you from a problem to an opportunity. Now, I’m fortunate to have done over 200 interviews with successful entrepreneurs. And the theme of curiosity consistently repeats itself as to how people became successful. It’s curiosity. And Jay, dare I say, you are now another prime example of curiosity. So thank you so much for sharing. Now I’m curious.
Wayne Veldsman [00:30:49]:
Okay. So you’ve mentored hundreds, if not thousands of people, right? What do you see as the biggest?
Jay Conner [00:31:01]:
Mindset block that’s holding people back from finding success? Fear. Fear. Fear. So, and a lot of time, a lot of times they don’t even know what they’re afraid of, right? But, but, but, but, but let’s unpack that a little bit. So here’s a writer downer. Here’s a writer downer. Successful people learn how to get comfortable being uncomfortable, right? So anything that is new that you’ve never done before is uncomfortable. I mean, anything new, whether it’s, you know, I mean, any kind of activity.
Jay Conner [00:31:41]:
I mean, it doesn’t even have to be— I mean, I mean, in the, in the most basic sense, A lot of people fear standing in front of people talking or being a speaker or whatever. They’ve never done it before. It’s something new, right? I mean, putting aside, you know, people are going to think I’m stupid or how I’m going to look and all that kind of stuff, but that’s just something new. Well, when I had my very first conversation with a potential private lender, after I’d put my program together and I knew what I was going to offer, I was nervous. I was uncomfortable. I’d never had that conversation before. And I teach my students, my members of my mastermind group, and my Platinum Coaching, and all that kind of stuff. I teach them two different conversations to have with potential private lenders.
Jay Conner [00:32:42]:
One is what I call the direct method. The other is what I call the indirect method. My favorite’s the indirect method. And the reason I love the indirect method is that, again, I’m not asking for any money. I’m asking for someone to help me, um, which has its own story that we probably don’t have time to share. But back to what is it that holds them back? What holds them back is being uncomfortable doing anything new, right? So, how do you overcome that? Well, one way to overcome doing something new that you’ve never done before is do it with somebody who’s already done it, right? You know, entrepreneurs, successful entrepreneurs are not people who live on an island. And go about being an entrepreneur by themselves. They surround themselves with like-minded people to help get them to their destination, right? I mean, some of the best time and money that I’ve invested over the years, Wayne, are being in mastermind groups, right? Like right now, right now I’m a member, I’m a member of 3 different mastermind groups, and all those other mastermind members are entrepreneurs.
Jay Conner [00:34:06]:
We’re like-minded, like one group I’m in, whichare just coaches. They coach other people in all different spaces, right? I’m in another group of primarily real estate investors. And so the thing that— so there’s another answer to your question. What’s the main thing that holds people back from moving forward? Is not surrounding themselves.
Wayne Veldsman [00:34:33]:
With like-minded people to help them get to where they want to go. The importance of surrounding yourself with like-minded people, so important. And also your original answer, that fear is often the number one thing holding people back.
Jay Conner [00:34:54]:
It is the fear of the unknown. Dare I say? Yes, generally speaking, fear of the unknown, uh, what holds them back? Lack of confidence, right? Lack of confidence. So, how do you get confidence? Well, Jack Canfield taught me in his book The Success Principles, which has 65 success principles in his phenomenal book. One of his success principles is quote unquote act as if. Act as if, right? Now that doesn’t mean don’t be authentic. That’s not saying don’t be authentic, but act as if. In other words, if you haven’t done something before, then, well, what would a successful real estate investor, what would a successful capital raiser, what would a blank? I mean, you’re listening to this show, you fill in the blank. What do you want to do? What do you want to accomplish? Ask yourself, well, what would a successful blank do?
Wayne Veldsman [00:35:58]:
Then go do what that successful blank would do. Act as if— this is something that I want everybody to write down, honestly, as a reminder. Most people have heard of fake it till you make it. Right? Fake it till you make it only works because you’re simply just doing the actual things. You’re not faking it. You’re just doing the actions. So Jay, what you just outlined here, right, thisactst as if, right? What would a successful real estate investor do? Just act as if you’re already a successful real estate investor, do those things, and you’re going to move forward. And as well, I think a big thing to mention here is we need to have humility to be able to say, you know what, I’m still early on.
Wayne Veldsman [00:36:49]:
Let me go surround myself with people who have done this, who have the knowledge, right? Go do it with somebody twho’salready done it. And thus now you’re going to learn, nd it’s actually going to fast-forward you. Do you think that a lot of entrepreneurs are trying to do things by themselves?
Jay Conner [00:37:07]:
Themselves, and that’s causing them to fail or take longer to achieve success than they would? No doubt about it. No doubt about it. That’s, that’s one big mistake I made. Huge mistake. Lost hundreds of thousands of dollars by making that mistake. My very first 6 years in this business of being a real estate investor, I relied on my mobile home experience, right? Well, there are a lot of business principles that carry over, but I didn’t know what I was doing. I read some books, right? And I would have saved so much money and I would have made so much more money and had a lot less stressful days and sleepless nights if I had started out working with someone that had already done it and surrounding myself with other people that are doing it, such as a mastermind group or, you know, joining a real estate investor association or something like that.
Wayne Veldsman [00:38:14]:
So yes, that by not doing what we’re talking about will definitely hold people back. Absolutely. Absolutely. So Jay Conner.
Jay Conner [00:38:26]:
The Private Money Authority. What does the future look like for you, Jay? I don’t know. And that’s what makes me so excited. Nobody has a crystal ball. Now, what’s my intention? What’s my intention? Now, my intention is, is to reach as many people as I can who are interested in real estate investing, particularly with single-family houses. And I’m not Jesus Christ, but I love setting people free. And how do I set them free? I like setting them free from having to abide by lenders’ rules and instead making their own rules. So I’m passionate.
Jay Conner [00:39:06]:
That’s why I’m giving my book away. That’s why I’m giving my book away. People can buy it for $20 on Amazon, but that’s the reason I’m giving my book, which is called Where to Get the Money Now. I’m giving that to real estate investors. In my book, it actually has in it exactly what it is I teach. What, what do I teach potential private lenders, and exactly what to say so you never have to, you know, beg or chase or persuade,e and don’t have to do any asking. So, my future, what’s it look like? It looks like making a huge impact on as many people as I can who are in this world of reality.
Wayne Veldsman [00:39:46]:
Estate or want to get into the world of real estate investing. Making an impact on as many people as you can in the world of real estate investing. And amazing, your book, Where to Get the Money Now, right? If you’d like, tell us a little bit more about it, and then.
Jay Conner [00:40:03]:
Where specifically did you say people might be able to get it for free? Yeah. So the book, the title is Where to Get the Money Now. The subtitle sort of tells what it’s all about. How to get money for your real estate deals without relying on traditional or hard money lenders. And, uh, people can pick up the book at www.jayconner.com/book. So I’m an er, not an or, like most Conners are. So jayconner.com/book.
Jay Conner [00:40:43]:
Book, and I’ll autograph it. I’ll send it via 3-day expedited delivery through the post office. Uh, just cover shipping and handling, but the book is free. Don’t spend $20 on Amazon. I’m also going to include 2 tickets to my live event, which is called the Private Money Conference.
Wayne Veldsman [00:41:01]:
These tickets are worth $3,000, and I’m including those along with the book. Hey, thank you so much. You know, I love that from the get-go of this conversation, you’ve talked about providing value, leading with a servant’s heart, and your story proves that you are where you are today because of that, right? It opened up new opportunities, and you’re still, as you’re sitting in front of us, just working to help more people make more of an impact. Now, it sounds like that’s going to tie into what your legacy will be.
Jay Conner [00:41:34]:
But why don’t you tell us, what is— what legacy even means to you? Well, that’s an interesting question, because at the end of the day, most of us who are walking around on planet Earth, nobody’s going to remember us after 100 years anyway. So what kind of an impact can you leave behind? Well, I’ve been so blessed to be a part of transforming so many people’s lives.s They learn how I do this business. They quitheir day jobs that they didn’t like anyway. They quit their day jobs in 6 months or 9 months. That being part of that transformation passes on to their children, passes on to their grandchildren. But there’s another part of me that we haven’t even talked about, Wayne, so I’ll make it quick, as far as leaving a legacy. So my wife Carol Joy and I, We write music, and we write gospel hymns and spiritual songs, and we’ve been blessed to have those songs sung around the world by over 50,000 people that we know of, maybe over 100,000 now. And so music, the most important legacy that I would really like to leave behind, is the gift of music.
Jay Conner [00:42:54]:
And once music is in writing.
Wayne Veldsman [00:42:56]:
It’S been recorded, uh, that legacy is going to live for a very, very long time. Amazing, amazing. The legacy of music, actually creating the.
Jay Conner [00:43:09]:
Music and letting people experience it and enjoy it and re-record it themselves, huh? Yeah, sing it in church, sing it in sing-ins. I mean, this past Sunday night, my wife Carol George, she’s from Texas. So we went out for the long weekend. And so Sunday night, there were about 30 of us who gathered in a home.
Wayne Veldsman [00:43:28]:
And for 90 minutes, we sang nonstop. And, um, so yeah, music’s a big part of our lives. That’s amazing, Jay. I appreciate you sharing that. So you’re, you’re clearly a, a man of faith. How do you think faith has influenced?.
Jay Conner [00:43:46]:
The way that you lead? And coach and close real estate deals? Oh yes. It’s the faith that has programmed my thinking to be a servant. I love, I love Zig Ziglar. He’s passed away. But anyway, I love Zig Ziglar. His training tapes. Now, this will date me. His cassette tapes really, really helped formulate the way I think, the way I go about business.
Jay Conner [00:44:13]:
And to paraphrase what he was known for, if you help enough other people get what they want, you don’t have to worry about yourself. The law of reciprocity kicks in. But yes, my faith and, um, being such a part of the church and having so many opportunities to serve others.
Wayne Veldsman [00:44:34]:
People, uh, that’s the foundation of having a servant’s heart. That’s where it all came from for you, huh? The foundation of having a servant’s heart comes from your faith. Jay, thank you so much for being here. It sounds like we could do a whole other interview, specifically about your music and about faith, and more about Impact.
Jay Conner [00:44:51]:
But so far, I just want to thank you for your time, for sharing everything that you did. Wayne, thank you so much for having me on.
Wayne Veldsman [00:45:02]:
You have been a blessing to me today. I appreciate it, sir. Thank you so much, Jay. Truly, I appreciate it. What an interesting story. And it honestly is all because you’re.
Jay Conner [00:45:11]:
Working to serve and help other people. And what a beautiful and amazing thing it is. Yeah, that’s how we go about everything we do. Like, not just for private money, but like selling our homes. Um, over since 2003, I’ve sold a lot of homes to families that couldn’t go to the bank and get a mortgage for whatever reason. So I sell them their homes on lease purchase or rent-to-own, and I force them into credit repair and get their credit built up to where they can actually get a mortgage and get that, you know, home in their name. And, you know, it’s with private lenders the same way, offering to teach, exposing people to this world. And, yeah, the same thing with my, you know, members of my communities that, that I’ve developed.
Jay Conner [00:46:02]:
It’s all about, all about serving them.
Wayne Veldsman [00:46:05]:
And, um, so yeah, and the— no doubt you have the same spirit. I, I appreciate that. I work to have the same spirit, to serve others first. I’m super proud to be very faith-driven as well. And, uh, you know, if we have that underlying basis of loving one another.
Jay Conner [00:46:25]:
Serve others first, then, um, you know, it all comes back around to us, huh? Absolutely. And by the way, I, you know, I mentioned it, I’ve been interviewed by over 800, uh, people, but, um, you stand out as really having a great talent for recapping what your guests just said in different words that really drives home those good points instead of just, you know, drilling with a question and a question and a question, but going.
Wayne Veldsman [00:47:01]:
Back, recapping and summarizing those points. You’re really good at that. I appreciate it, Jay. I appreciate it. A simple communication technique that I learned, right, is to just try to paraphrase and see if I understand correctly.
Jay Conner [00:47:15]:
Give you a chance to further explain or to simply say, that’s right, you got it.
Wayne Veldsman [00:47:21]:
Yeah, it’s also a very powerful negotiating tool.
Jay Conner [00:47:24]:
Strategy as well.
Wayne Veldsman [00:47:25]:
Are you familiar with Chris Voss?
Jay Conner [00:47:27]:
Of course, I’ve met Chris Voss. Have you? No way, I’m very.
Wayne Veldsman [00:47:35]:
Jealous now. Wow, what was— never split the difference. Never split the difference. Never split the difference. Amazing, I love it. And that’s a wrap, everybody. Thank you for tuning in today. What a great journey that Jay has from losing his bank funding overnight to raising millions, tripling his business, and in the middle of the 2008 recession.
Wayne Veldsman [00:47:58]:
Jay Conner is living proof that problems can become your biggest breakthroughs when you lead with service. So here are a few of my takeaways for you to hold onto. One, curiosity. It’s not optional. It’s the fuel for reinvention. The most powerful entrepreneurs out there aren’t asking for money. They’re offering an opportunity. They’re teaching.
Wayne Veldsman [00:48:23]:
And also, I really love that Jack Canfield quote, E R O. An event plus your response to it equals the outcome. Right? Don’t allow yourself to just have an event equal the outcome. It all matters how you respond to it. To everybody out there, thank you so much for tuning in. Please check the link below, and go check out Jay’s book. And as always, do us a huge favor and share this episode so we can keep growing the show and bring you better and better guests exactly like Mr. Jay Conner. Until next time, you’ve been listening to Journey to Legacy. I’m Wayne Beltsman.
Narrator [00:49:05]:
Are you feeling inspired by the knowledge you gained in this episode? Then head over to www.JayConner.com/MoneyGuide, that’s www.JayConner.com/MoneyGuide, and download your free guide that shares 7 reasons why private money will skyrocket your real estate investing business right now. Again, that’s www.JayConner.com/MoneyGuide to get your free guide. We’ll see you next time on Raising Private Money with Jay Conner.