Credits to:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6DC3SMYHd4
“Private Money vs. Hard Money: A Better Way to Fund Real Estate Deals with Jay Conner ”
https://www.youtube.com/@StephenLeeThomas
In real estate investing, one of the biggest obstacles isn’t always finding the perfect deal—it’s securing the funding to make it happen. Traditional advice often tells ambitious investors, especially those just starting, something along the lines of: “Just put a deal under contract, and the money will show up,” or “Money finds good deals.” But as this podcast episode featuring Jay Conner and Stephen Lee-Thomas dives into, there’s a smarter, less stressful approach: lead with education, not persuasion, and let Private Money come to you.
Why Private Money Rocks the Real Estate World
For years, Jay Conner and his wife Carol Joy financed their real estate transactions the conventional way: via unsecured lines of credit at local banks. That worked until 2009, when a sudden call from their banker closed that door overnight because of the global financial crisis. Like so many investors, Jay Conner found himself suddenly shut off from the traditional funding sources he depended on.
Out of necessity, he asked himself a critical question: “Who, not how, can help me?” That pivotal moment led him to discover the world of Private Money—a method of raising funds directly from individuals looking for higher, safer returns on their capital or retirement accounts, rather than from institutional lenders. Suddenly, a problem became an opportunity. And over the next several years, Jay Conner and Carol Joy attracted funding from 47 ordinary people, none of whom had ever heard of private lending or self-directed IRAs before.
Education Over Sales: The Indirect Approach
What’s the secret to Jay Conner’s Private Money success? It’s not about pushing, selling, or convincing. Instead, he wears what he calls the “Private Money Teacher” hat—educating those in his network about how private lending works and the safe, attractive returns they can achieve. He never asks for money directly. He simply shares the opportunity and lets interest develop naturally.
One of his most powerful tactics is the “indirect method.” Here’s how it works: Jay Conner asks influential friends if they know anyone dissatisfied with their current returns at the bank or losing money in the stock market. By leading with a genuine request for help rather than a sales pitch, curiosity and interest are piqued. It’s a low-pressure approach that often turns his contacts into eager investors themselves.
As Stephen Lee-Thomas echoes on the episode, the best time to raise capital is before you have a deal. The worst? When you desperately need money to close—because, as Jay Conner humorously notes, “desperation has a smell to it.” Educate, build relationships, and let the money “chase you.”
Private Money vs. Hard Money: Know the Difference
There’s often confusion between Private Money and hard money, but the distinction is important:
- Private Money: Comes from individuals, usually from their own savings or retirement accounts, looking for better yields. The terms are flexible, the rates are typically lower, and you—yes, you—set the terms. No applications, no credit checks, no expensive fees. And if you’re educating rather than selling, you become a trusted resource.
- Hard Money: Usually comes from brokers or lenders operating funds pooled from multiple investors. Interest rates are higher, terms are strict, and a slew of fees and underwriting comes with the territory. They make the rules—you play by them.
Build Confidence, Build Capital
Jay Conner’s advice for new investors is simple but profound: adopt the right mindset. See yourself as a teacher, not a beggar. When you genuinely help others unlock new, safe, high-yielding investment opportunities, you’ll be perceived as an expert, and Private Money will follow.
If you want to accelerate your learning, Jay Conner offers in-person “Private Money Conference” events, where attendees learn NOT just scripts but the mindset, confidence, and relationship-building skills that turn ordinary conversations into funding opportunities.
The Bottom Line
Raising capital isn’t about chasing or persuading. It’s about educating, empowering, and building authentic relationships. Private lenders need real estate investors as much as investors need them. Start seeing yourself as a teacher and a connector, and you’ll be surprised how quickly funding finds you—before you even need it.
Ready to learn more? Visit Jay Conner’s website and start your own journey into Private Money mastery.
10 Discussion Questions from this Episode
- How did Jay Conner initially begin his journey into real estate investing, and what catalyzed his transition to Private Money funding?
- What is the main difference between Private Money and hard money, according to Jay Conner?
- Why does Jay Conner believe that “desperation has a smell to it” when it comes to raising Private Money?
- What strategies does Jay Conner recommend for starting a conversation about private lending without coming off as needy or salesy?
- How does Jay Conner’s “indirect method” for attracting private lenders work, and why does he find it effective?
- What role does mindset play in successfully raising Private Money, based on Jay Conner’s experience?
- How does the educational approach to sharing investment opportunities benefit both the investor and the potential private lender?
- Why is it important to line up capital before securing a real estate deal, according to the conversation between Jay Conner and Stephen Lee-Thomas?
- What are the risks and rewards of using Private Money compared to more conventional forms of financing in real estate?
- What actionable steps can someone new to real estate investing take to start building relationships with potential private lenders, as suggested in this episode?
Fun facts that were revealed in the episode:
- $2.15 Million Raised Without Pitching a Deal
Jay Conner shared that he raised $2,150,000 in new funding for real estate deals by simply educating people in his network about private lending, never formally pitching a deal or asking for money directly. - First Private Lender Doubled Their Commitment Over Coffee
During his first conversation using the “indirect method,” Jay Conner was initially offered $250,000, but after explaining the private lending opportunity and enjoying two cups of coffee, the lender upped their offer to $500,000. - Nearly $1 Million Raised from One Luncheon
By hosting his first Private Lender Luncheon for 20 people, Jay Conner raised $969,000 in funding from attendees, all without having any deals attached at the time.
Timestamps:
00:00 Discovering private lending opportunities
04:55 Facing a credit line closure
07:52 Discovering Private Money real estate
13:04 Attracting Private Money lenders
15:48 Leveraging local connections for referrals
19:36 Timing for raising capital
23:31 Building investor relationships
26:29 Successful real estate money raising
28:35 Explaining hard money lending
33:02 Shifting mindset for raising funds
33:55 Gaining confidence through education
Private Money Academy Conference:
Free Report:
https://www.jayconner.com/MoneyReport
Join the Private Money Academy:
https://www.JayConner.com/trial/
Have you read Jay’s new book, Where to Get the Money Now?
It is available FREE (all you pay is the shipping and handling) at https://www.JayConner.com/Book
What is Private Money? Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner
http://www.JayConner.com/MoneyPodcast
Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. Without using his own money or credit, Jay maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $67,000 per deal.
#RealEstate #RealEstateInvesting #RealEstateInvestingForBeginners #Foreclosures #FlippingHouses #PrivateMoney #RaisingPrivateMoney #JayConner
YouTube Channel
https://www.youtube.com/c/RealEstateInvestingWithJayConner
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Asset-Backed Deals and the Truth About Private Money vs. Hard Money with Jay Conner
Jay Conner [00:00:00]:
Carol Joy, my wife, and we’ve had over the years 47 different individuals, ordinary people.
Jay Conner [00:00:07]:
I wasn’t looking for rich people. I wasn’t looking for the rich uncle. I’m just looking for ordinary people who are looking for higher rates of return safely and securely, either on their investment capital and/or their retirement funds. And these 47 people over these years have funded our deals. You know what’s interesting? Not one of them, not one of them, had ever heard about Private Money, private lending, self-directed IRAs until I shared with them what this world was all about. And as a result, I never had to apply for a mortgage. I never had to pitch a deal. I’ve never pitched a deal to anybody.
Jay Conner [00:00:52]:
I just shared with them the opportunity of what I was offering, and then the money started chasing me very, very quickly.
Narrator [00:01:02]:
If you are a real estate investor and are wondering how to raise and leverage Private Money to make more profit on every deal, then you are in the right place. On Raising Private Money, we’ll speak with new and seasoned investors to dissect their deals and extract the best tips and strategies to help you get the money because the money comes first. Now here’s your host, Jay Conner.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:01:30]:
Hey everybody, welcome back to When Real Estate Gets Real. I’m pretty excited about today’s guest, Jay Conner. He is the Private Money Authority. Check this out before we get into any of it. Jay’s a pretty cool guy. I just found this out about him. He’s going to give away for 2 people a $3,000 gift. Okay.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:01:58]:
And it’s in— this is a legit gift. This is not bullshit where somebody inflates it. Oh, it has this value, this value, this value, but we’re only going to give it to you for this much. Like, it’s legit. Okay. So Jay, I’m setting things up. Pretty high expectations here. Um, hey man, thanks for coming onto the show.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:02:17]:
How are you doing today?
Jay Conner [00:02:18]:
Stephen, I’m doing fantastic. Thank you so much for inviting me to come along and talk with you and your audience about what I’m so excited about, what I’m so passionate about, and that is Private Money funding for real estate deals. And the reason I’m so excited about it is that ever since I started using Private Money to fund my real estate deals, all the way back in February of 2009. You know what? I’ve never missed out on a real estate deal for not having the funding.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:02:54]:
That is awesome. So, like, again, this is, this is, this is why I’m so excited because, you know, I’m in the capital raising space. We talked about that before the show got started. You know, being completely honest, I’m not really familiar with Private Money, hard money lending. We’re going to talk about the difference here in a little bit as well. I’m primarily more focused on the syndication space. So this is going to be such a valuable conversation for the people that are listening to this. I think they’re going to learn a ton.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:03:23]:
So real quick, I always like to do a little bit of, like, a background story. You weren’t born with this knowledge. Like, what did you do before you got into this? How did you get here?
Jay Conner [00:03:35]:
Well, I totally backed into it, to tell you the truth. So I started— Carol Joy, my wife, and I- we’re here in Eastern North Carolina, and we started investing in single-family houses all the way back in 2003. And for those first 6 years, Stephen, the only thing I knew to do to get my single-family house deals funded was that I had a line of credit at the local bank.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:04:01]:
Okay.
Jay Conner [00:04:02]:
And so that worked out okay.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:04:04]:
Was that like a HELOC or something?
Jay Conner [00:04:06]:
No, it was just a Line of credit, an unsecured line of credit, because back then, if you had a decent credit score, you could get an unsecured line of credit at the local bank if you had a relationship with them. And so that’s what I was using to fund my deals.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:04:23]:
Okay. And then something happened.
Jay Conner [00:04:27]:
Oh, yeah, something big time happened. So that worked out okay from 2003 until January of 2009. And then everything changed. I called up my banker in January of 2009. I know it’s hard to believe, but we actually still have handsets and telephone cords here in eastern North Carolina. But I called up my banker. His name was Steve. I told him about 2 houses that I had under contract to purchase.
Jay Conner [00:04:55]:
I thought, Stephen, I still had a line of credit, but I learned like that over the telephone from my banker, Steve, that my line of credit had been closed. And I said, Steve, what in the world are you telling me? My line of credit is closed. We’ve done a bunch of deals together for 6 years. I got a great credit score, never late on my payments. Why has the bank shut down my line of credit? And Steve said, Jay, don’t you know there’s a global financial crisis going on right now? I said, no, I’m here in Eastern North Carolina living underneath a rock, but I don’t know about— but Steve, you just gave me a global financial crisis. I don’t have a way to fund these 2 single-family house deals. So I hung up the phone, and Stephen, I asked myself a very, very important question. And the question I asked myself, you know, you can’t get the right answers to your problem unless you got the right question.
Jay Conner [00:05:50]:
The question I asked myself was, I said, Jay, I said, who, not how, I said, who do you know that can help fix your problem? And by the way, these people running around saying, oh, every problem’s an opportunity. I want to throw up. I did not have an opportunity. I had a problem.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:06:09]:
Right.
Jay Conner [00:06:09]:
Now, the problem became an opportunity. I wouldn’t be here on your podcast with you without this problem, but it was a problem at the time. So it’s interesting when I ask myself, who do I know that can help fix my problem of funding my real estate deals? I immediately thought of a dear friend. His name is Jeff Blankenship. Carol Joy, my wife, and I know him from a cappella gospel singing events, et cetera. And back then he was investing in single-family houses in Greensboro, North Carolina. I called up Jeff, and I told him what had just happened with me having my line of credit shut down. And Jeff said, well, Jay, welcome to the club.
Jay Conner [00:06:53]:
I said, well, I’m not sure I want to be a member of that club, but what club are you talking about? And Jeff said, well, that’s the club of having the bank close your line of credit. He said, ” My bank closed my line of credit last week. I said, well, Jeff, how are you going to fund your real estate deals?
Jay Conner [00:07:11]:
Jeff says, well, Jay, have you ever heard of Private Money and private lending? I said, no. He says, have you ever heard of self-directed IRAs where an individual, a human being, can move existing retirement funds over to a self-directed IRA company with no tax consequences? And then they can loan that money out to us real estate investors. And the interest we pay them is either tax-deferred or tax-free for them. And I said, Jeff, hold the phone, hold up. I said, I don’t have a clue what in the world you’re talking about. You’re like speaking a whole different language to me. I said, what is Private Money?
Jay Conner [00:07:52]:
He said, well, I’m not exactly sure. He said, but there’s this gentleman down in Jacksonville, Florida, named Ron LeGrand. I said, Who’s Ron LeGrand? He said, ” Well, I’m not really sure about that, but he says we can get a lot of Private Money for our real estate deals really, really fast. I said, okay. So we went to that event all the way back in February of 2009. And Stephen, oh boy, did I learn about Private Money, a world I’d never heard of, didn’t know it existed. And I came back home here after that event to Morehead City, North Carolina, our hometown. And you know what I did? The first thing I did was get my mindset straight.
Jay Conner [00:08:34]:
And what did I do? I put on my teacher hat, which says Private Money, Teacher.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:08:42]:
Okay.
Jay Conner [00:08:43]:
And all I did was just go about sharing with my own network. My own connections, my warm market, people in my cell phone, what my opportunity, what my Private Money lending opportunity was. And I was able to raise $2,150,000 in new funding for my real estate deals without asking anybody for money. And here’s what’s really interesting, and I’ll turn it back over to you, Stephen. Carol Joy, my wife, and I, we’ve had over the years 47 different individuals, ordinary people.
Jay Conner [00:09:24]:
I wasn’t looking for rich people. I wasn’t looking for the rich uncle. I’m just looking for ordinary people who are looking for higher rates of return safely and securely, either on their investment capital and/or their retirement funds. And these 47 people over these years have funded our deals. You know what’s interesting? Not one of them, not one of them, had ever heard about Private Money, private lending, self-directed IRAs until I shared with them what this world was all about. And as a result, I never had to apply for a mortgage. I never had to pitch a deal. I’ve never pitched a deal to anybody.
Jay Conner [00:10:08]:
I just shared with them the opportunity of what I was offering, and then the money started chasing me very, very quickly.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:10:18]:
Nice. I, uh, I have several notes here, um, different places to go here. Um, so let me, let me ask you this. So I also, I had to know 2009. I was like, I bet I know what happened in 2009, and that’s why you hit that roadblock. So the banks are— yeah, the banks can be a problem sometimes. I’ll leave that alone. That’s a whole other podcast conversation, but the banks can be a problem.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:10:47]:
So you— the way you got this in front of people, and probably the way that you teach your students, right? Because you work with people. The way you teach them is to actually educate people on how it works, right? So you educate them on this. Can you just break that process down for us a little bit? Is there like a couple of steps that you have people go through to start getting the education and getting people to raise their hand and say, you know what, Jay, I’m interested in that. How can I work with you in this opportunity?
Jay Conner [00:11:21]:
Yes. One of my favorite approaches is what I call the indirect method. And that’s one of the most common questions I get from real estate investors that haven’t raised capital before. And by the way, before I answer that question, I want to make this distinction. So Stephen, I know you talk a lot about syndication.
Jay Conner [00:11:40]:
And syndication is fantastic. You’re going to use syndication, of course, for larger projects, you know, commercial apartment complexes, etc. And everything that I have done with Private Money is what’s called asset-backed. Yes. Asset-backed debt, which means that individual, that private lender, has their own promissory note. They have their own deed of trust or mortgage collateralizing that note. So as a result, the SEC does not regulate what we do.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:12:12]:
Sure.
Jay Conner [00:12:12]:
Like the SEC regulates, you know, raising money from—
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:12:15]:
Big time. Yes. It’s all got to be on the up and up, so to speak. But yeah, it’s allSEC-regulated,d and there are very strict guidelines. that you’re running by. There’s an SEC attorney, which is not cheap. There’s, there’s, there is a pretty high cost to raising capital through syndication.
Jay Conner [00:12:35]:
Exactly. And so I just want to make that distinction. If, for whoever is listening to this episode, it’s all the same money. So if you’re, if you’re syndicating, raising money for syndication, or you’re raising Private Money for single-family houses, uh, and you’re— and it’s gonna be asset-backed debt. It’s all the same money. It’s just a matter of how you structure the deal. That’s what— that’s what’s— that’s what’s different.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:13:04]:
Okay.
Jay Conner [00:13:04]:
So back to how do you start conversations and how do you start attracting the money without ever chasing the money? And, um, I have, I have, you know, different scripts. In fact, I got a collection of 12 Private Money million-dollar scripts that I’ve written for real estate investors to use. But one that I love is actually the very first, uh, conversation I had with a potential private lender. I got $500,000 pledged, wanting to invest from the very first private lender. And by the way, remember, none of these people had ever heard of Private Money. They didn’t even know what a private lender was.
Jay Conner [00:13:46]:
Until I shared the opportunity with them. And so this is called the indirect method, the indirect method. And it utilizes a very, very powerful phrase, which is, quote unquote, I need your help. I need your help.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:14:04]:
I love that one. Personally, I love that one. Yeah.
Jay Conner [00:14:07]:
Yeah. And so here we go. The best way to, uh, explain this is to share a short story as to how it happened. So Carol Joy and I, we were going to Bible study on a Wednesday night, uh, like we have done for years. And I walked into the foyer of the church building. I was looking for a gentleman named Wayne. Now Wayne and I, we’ve known each other for years. And before Bible study started, I looked at Wayne, and I said, Wayne, I got something that I want to talk to you about confidentially after Bible study.
Jay Conner [00:14:38]:
Do you have a few minutes? He said, ” Sure. So Bible study finishes, we get together, we go down the hall to the nursery, we shut the door. And here’s exactly what I said to Wayne. Here’s exactly what I said to him. I said, Wayne, you know everybody in this town. And he did.
Jay Conner [00:14:59]:
He was the Zenith television dealer in Morehead City, North Carolina. Now, if you’re listening to this and you don’t know what the Zenith Television Dealer was, that means you’re just too young to remember life before Walmart and Best Buy came to town where you buy your TVs. Decades ago, you went to the Zenith Television Dealer. The TV was a cabinet box that sat on the floor, and there was no such thing as a remote control. You had to actually go up there and turn the knob. To change the channel. Well, as a result, Wayne had sold, financed, repaired TVs in hundreds of people’s homes. So he— and he was so well connected in the Rotary Club and all that.
Jay Conner [00:15:48]:
And so Wayne knew everybody. He, he was a center of influence in this town. And so I said, Wayne, you know everybody, and I need your help. I said, you see, I’ve now opened up my real estate investing business by referral only, and I’m paying insane high rates of return to people that invest with me in our deals. Here’s what I need your help with, Wayne. When you run across somebody that’s complaining about the low interest rates that they’re not getting, or they are getting the low interest rates at the local bank, Mm-hmm. Or they’re losing money in the stock market. Would you refer them to me and I’ll tell them about what I got going on? Well, what do you think Wayne said? Wayne looked at me, and he said, well, now—
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:16:36]:
I’m interested.
Jay Conner [00:16:38]:
He said, Brother Jay, what you got going on there? And I said, well, Wayne, are you saying you might be interested? He said, well, I might. I said, well, why would you be interested? He said, well, we’re making less than 3% in a certificate of deposit. In the local bank. We’re losing money in the stock market. What kind of rates are you paying, Jay? I said, Wayne, that all sort of depends on the deal. I said, ” What sounds high to you? He said, ” Well, we’re making less than 3%. He said, I don’t know, maybe 5 or 6% APR. I said, Wayne, I can’t pay you 5 or 6%, but I can pay you 8%.
Jay Conner [00:17:19]:
He said, ” Put me down for $250,000. And so the next day, Thursday afternoon, Stephen, I went to his and his wife’s home right here in Morehead City, North Carolina. And I brought with me the entire checklist of how the opportunity works.
Jay Conner [00:17:38]:
The interest rate that I’m paying is 8%. I’ve been paying my private lenders 8%, no points, no origination fees, ever since 2009, when the market went up, and the market went down- 8% ever since. And I told them, you know, it’s conservative. I don’t borrow more than 75% of my— of the after-repair value. I didn’t say 75% of purchase price.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:18:01]:
Right, right.
Jay Conner [00:18:02]:
I said 75% of after-repair value. That’s why we always bring home a big check every time we buy a property and never take any of our own money to the closing table. And I told them how they could get their money back in case of an emergency: the length of the note. Frequency of payments. I explained how the whole thing works. And remember the magic. No deal. No deal in this conversation up front.
Jay Conner [00:18:29]:
Because here’s a writer-downer. Desperation has a smell to it. And the worst time to be raising Private Money is when you need it for a deal.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:18:40]:
Yes.
Jay Conner [00:18:41]:
So I just explained how the opportunity works and how they’re protected. And all that. And you know what? After 2 cups of coffee, that $250,000 that Wayne mentioned the previous night became $500,000. And so I told him, I told Wayne and his wife, I said, I will get back to you just as soon as possible to put your money to work in my upcoming deal. And I did. A couple of weeks went by, and I called them up with the good news phone call. About putting their money to work. And I didn’t ask for money.
Jay Conner [00:19:17]:
All I did was deliver. All I did was keep my promise that I would put their money to work for them. And so I’ve been using the Good News phone call script ever since then, and I never have to pitch a deal, and I get my deals funded 100% of the time.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:19:36]:
Oh, that’s awesome. So there’s, there’s like 2 core concepts I picked up on there. Um, and one is where we kind of ended the conversation when you said, like,e the worst time to raise capital is when you need it, um, which I couldn’t agree more with, because you need to get people lined up as far out before you have a deal. Like, on the syndication side I teach, the best time to start raising capital was like 1 to 2 years ago. The second best time is like today. Don’t even worry if you have a deal or not. Like, just, you need to start.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:20:09]:
Um, but then the other thing I really liked is, um, your approach where you’re not going in hard and trying to sell anybody on a deal. You’re saying, hey, like, can you help me out? Do you know anybody who might be interested in this? And then they lean in, and they say, yeah, yeah, tell me more about it. They learn about it, and they’re like, I’m interested in that. So that’s like, I teach the same thing. Like, You’re gonna go, you’re gonna talk about what it is in general, and then it’s always going to be, do you know anybody who’d be interested?
Jay Conner [00:20:46]:
Exactly.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:20:46]:
Actually, I’d be pretty interested because, because what I love about that, Jay, is it’s not a, it’s not a high-pressure sales pitch. It takes pressure off of you, and it takes pressure off of them. Like, you’re not even going into it like, I gotta go pitch this person. You’re like, I’m gonna share some, I’m gonna share some knowledge that these people probably don’t have access to. Never heard of before. And I just want to see if they know anybody they might be able to point me to. If it’s not them, somebody else. I love that.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:21:12]:
I teach both of those strategies. I teach the same thing on the syndication side. So yeah, perfect, perfect alignment there.
Jay Conner [00:21:19]:
And you know, I tell you what drives me crazy, Stephen, and I’m going to bet there’s a 99.9% chance what I’m getting ready to say you’ve heard. And I’m gonna bet there’s probably a 99% chance that the people that are listening to this episode have heard it as well. And I just want to go run into a brick wall every time I hear it. It’s the guru standing on stage talking to newer real estate investors, and they say, quote unquote, ” Oh, just get the deal under contract. The money will show up.
Jay Conner [00:21:54]:
Thank you. I mean, or, or if they don’t say that, if they don’t say that, they’ll say something else. They’ll say, quote unquote, oh, money finds good deals. Money finds good deals. I mean, look.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:22:09]:
Yeah.
Jay Conner [00:22:09]:
Let me ask a question. You get a deal under contract. Is a drone automatically going to fly over your front porch, your front door, and drop a bag full of money? Because you got a deal in the contract. Has money got legs?
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:22:27]:
No.
Jay Conner [00:22:28]:
Money— is money running around, you know, looking for deals? So, as you know, Stephen, it just seems so much less stressful- no stress at all- to lead with education, lead with a servant’s heart, and share the opportunity with people. I mean, Carol Joy and I have received handwritten thank you notes.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:22:55]:
That’s awesome.
Jay Conner [00:22:56]:
From our private lenders thanking us for being a part of changing their financial situation, and for our older private lenders for being a part of changing their retirement years. And so what I discovered, uh, you know, over these years, is that the private lenders really need us more than we need them. I mean, it’s a win-win scenario. We’re all winning. But the reason I say it like that is that there’s more money available than there are deals.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:23:31]:
I mean, there is. And then, yeah, it’s a good point. I mean, there’s the money is, the money is out there. And here’s the way I explain it: anybody who says, like, yeah, find a deal and the money will come, or the easiest part about it is the money is the people that have actually taken the time to go build those relationships and have those conversations and get the people who are like, hey, when do you got a deal yet? Like, that’s the only way it becomes easy. Like, that’s it. You’ve got to be able to go out there and have the conversation. And end of story there. Um, so I love, I love the, the, the parody here.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:24:06]:
Um, right. It’s perfect.
Jay Conner [00:24:08]:
Another thing, another thing real quick, Stephen, is that story I just shared. I was asking for help in the story I just shared while I was living life, like just during my everyday, what I go about doing. In addition to that, you can have actual intentional events. So there’s this thing called the Private Lender Luncheon. Stephen, I’m sure you know all about that.
Jay Conner [00:24:35]:
My very first Private Lender Luncheon, I invited 20 people. To lunch. And I bought them lunch. And I had my CPA, had my real estate attorney there, had my realtor there, fed them lunch. And I did a very simple, easy 30-minute PowerPoint presentation on what Private Money is, how people can use— ordinary people can use investment capital if they’ve got retirement funds.
Jay Conner [00:25:04]:
I told them what self-directed IRA companies are. And how they can do that. And at that one luncheon, I raised $969,000 just from that one luncheon with no deals attached to it.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:25:21]:
Right, right, right, right.
Jay Conner [00:25:23]:
I fulfilled my promise. I called them up right away when I had a deal for them to fund. But imagine what it feels like, or what it could feel like. I know you know what it feels like, Stephen. But imagine what it could feel like to get a deal under contract and before you even make the offer, you know where the money is, and you’re gonna be able to close quickly. Yeah.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:25:49]:
Yeah. It, it’s a game changer. It’s what I find: having that ability is the difference between someone who moves forward and someone who doesn’t. I’ve been looking at deals, but I’ve never even submitted an offer because I don’t know if I can close on it. You just get stopped in your tracks. So it was like with a few— I mean, honestly, someone could listen to this episode and be like, I know what I need to do. Like, I just need to get out there and have a few easy conversations. I’m overthinking this whole thing.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:26:20]:
And honestly, probably come up with, like you said, with a few conversations, probably a few hundred thousand dollars. Like, it’s not easy. Yeah.
Jay Conner [00:26:29]:
Yeah. Easy. Like, you know, my, um, my real estate investing, uh, students, uh, that work with me and we work together, and I help them raise money. I mean, it’s like, shoot, I’m thinking of this lady named Carly, Carly Menino. She lives in Raleigh, North Carolina. She came to my Private Money conference, and from one script that I gave out at the conference, her very first phone call, she got $900,000, and she hadn’t even done— she hadn’t even done a real estate deal. But it was just a matter of knowing what to say and not coming across needy, like you’re asking for anything.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:27:12]:
Right. I got a deal. Like, oh, we got to work this out. I’m looking for people to invest. Like, yeah, no, that, that’s not the right way to do it. But you mentioned you run an event right now. Tell me a little bit about this event.
Jay Conner [00:27:25]:
Sure. So this is called the Private Money Conference. Stephen, I don’t know of another event like this. There’s no virtual option on the internet. I haven’t figured out how to do this event, uh, virtually. This is in person. And this upcoming event, the Private Money Conference, people, real estate investors, whether they’re new or not so new. I mean, I’m thinking of Stu and Harriet up in New York.
Jay Conner [00:27:56]:
They already had 100 houses in their portfolio.
Jay Conner [00:27:59]:
And they had already raised Private Money, but they came to this event, and after coming to the event, they got another $3 million in Private Money. So this event, the Private Money Conference, is for people who may have missed out on a deal or didn’t even make an offer. Because they didn’t know where the funding was going to come from. This event is also for people who are sick and tired of hard money. Now, the difference between hard money—
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:28:26]:
Yeah, yeah, big difference. We gotta, we gotta— sorry, I cut you off, but you’re going exactly where I’m saying. Private Money, hard money- they’re often confused, but they’re different. Like, break it down.
Jay Conner [00:28:35]:
Yeah, hard, hard money. And we’ll get back to the Private Money event because this is a $3,000 ticket that I’m going to give your audience for free. Hard money is typically a brokerage. Hard money is typically a brokerage that loans money out on single-family houses. And what they do— and I’m not poo-pooing hard money. If the math makes sense, do it. Some of my best friends are hard money lenders that use my techniques to raise Private Money for their own fund that they raise money for. So the hard money lender or brokerage will raise money from investors, individuals.
Jay Conner [00:29:12]:
To invest in their fund. And then the hard money lender turns around and loans that money out to real estate investors at a higher interest rate than they’re paying their investors. And then they charge points and fees and et cetera. So hard money is a lot more expensive than Private Money, just paying a straight 8%. And they make the rules. They’re the underwriter.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:29:36]:
Okay.
Jay Conner [00:29:37]:
They set the length of the note. All that is turned upside down in this world of Private Money. We make the rules. Hey, look, if you’re listening to this, I got great news for you. You’re already approved. You’re already approved. There’s, there’s, there’s, there’s, there’s no application, right? You’re not applying for a mortgage. You’re offering an opportunity to ordinary people.
Jay Conner [00:30:04]:
But anyway, the upcoming conference is the Private Money Conference is October 7th 8th and 9th, October 7th, 8th, and 9th, 2026. So listen to this: you’ve got time to make your travel plans. It’s here in Eastern North Carolina. I’m going to give out a website right now. This is a $3,000 event. I’m going to give out a website right now here in this episode that already has slashed it down to 2 tickets for only a $97 registration fee. And that’s just to save your seats.
Jay Conner [00:30:40]:
For you and a guest.
Jay Conner [00:30:42]:
So here it is: www.JayConner.com/Event. And that will automatically slash it right down to 2 tickets for only a $97 registration fee. We got an FAQ, frequently asked questions, over there on the site, but our phone number is there as well in case you want to give us a call. In fact, I’ll just give out our phone number in case you have any questions. Give us a— I mean, we actually do something novel here, Stephen. When somebody dials our phone, we actually answer the phone.
Jay Conner [00:31:26]:
Can you believe that?
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:31:27]:
You actually have a landline?
Jay Conner [00:31:29]:
Yeah, we actually have a landline. We answer the phone. Anyway, call us with any questions.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:31:38]:
252-808-2927.
Jay Conner [00:31:38]:
252-808-2927. And if you’re listening to this episode, if you’ve ever missed out on a deal or you haven’t made an offer on a property because you just weren’t sure about the funding, this conference is for you, and you can bring a guest as well.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:31:54]:
That is, that is awesome. I think that is so cool. You’re willing to give that away as a gift. I mean, that’s like for 2 people; you’re like, Less than $50 each for a 3-day event with you and everything you’re teaching. Yeah, like that, that’s an amazing deal. If I wasn’t a few thousand miles away, I might be like, hey, I need to hop on a plane and head out over there. But I know people are listening who are not too far, and it’s gonna make a lot of sense for them to go. Jay, that’s like, that’s an amazing offer, man.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:32:26]:
I’m super excited. You’re offering that to the audience, the listeners. I know there are people who are definitely going to take advantage of this. Some people listen to this in my community that is not too, too far away. Killer, killer, killer deal. Some people are listening who are still kind of early on. Maybe they’re a little bit timid. What’s some advice you would offer to someone who’s just getting started to help them achieve? Know, things that you’ve achieved or some of your other students have achieved?
Jay Conner [00:33:02]:
Sure. So when it comes to attracting and raising Private Money, first you gotta have the right mindset. So stop thinking that you’ve got to ask, beg, sell, persuade, chase. Forget all that. Forget all that. Think: get the mindset that you are serving other people. You are now going to be able to show them a way that they have never heard of before, uh, getting high rates of return safely and securely. And when you think of yourself as a teacher, you’re automatically seen and perceived as the expert, as the professional that’s offering an opportunity that the vast majority of people walking around have never heard of.
Jay Conner [00:33:55]:
That’s first, the mindset. Own the real estate between your ears. Own the real estate between your ears first. Your attitude, your outlook. Secondly, know what you’re talking about. In other words, nobody’s going to invest in your deals or loan you money unless you’re confident about what you’re talking about. So how do you get that confidence in what to offer people? I can tell you how you get the conf— how you get the confidence. You come to the Private Money Conference that I just invited you to, because that’s a big part of what we’re going to do at the conference: give you exactly what you need to say, exactly what you need to know about Private Money that you’re offering other people.
Jay Conner [00:34:46]:
And we role-play. I’m gonna get you outta your comfort zone because that’s where growth takes place.
Jay Conner [00:34:55]:
Growth takes place at the end of your comfort zone. And I’m gonna have you role-play with other members of the conference, and y’all are gonna talk with each other about offering the Private Money opportunity. So you will get that confidence. So that when you leave the conference, you will leave confident, knowing exactly what you’re talking about.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:35:20]:
Awesome, Jay. I have really, really enjoyed our time today, and I could go on, uh, but I got to be respectful of the time. So thank you so much for joining me. You’ve got your event people can find you at, but if somebody misses your event, what’s the best way for them to connect with you?
Jay Conner [00:35:39]:
So www.JayConner.com. So just the main website, uh, without /event, and that’s got all of our contact information as well.
Stephen Lee-Thomas [00:35:49]:
Awesome. Jay, thank you so much. I really appreciate your, uh, you joining us today. For everybody listening, we’ll catch you in the next episode. Thanks, Jay.
Jay Conner [00:35:58]:
Thank you, Stephen.
Narrator [00:35:59]:
Are you feeling inspired by the knowledge you gained in this episode? Then head over to www.JayConner.com/MoneyGuide and download your free guide that shares 7 reasons why Private Money will skyrocket your real estate investing business right now. Again, that’s www.JayConner.com/MoneyGuide to get your free guide. We’ll see you next time on Raising Private Money with Jay Conner.